[umhenet33]

I'm a 20 year old female. I've happily been with my first boyfriend for about four months. My problem is that I have trouble reaching orgasm with him. When things start getting hot and heavy, I have NO PROBLEM getting wet, in fact I get very wet. I want nothing but to do the act. And it feels heavenly when he's inside of me. I've felt that "need to pee" feeling which to my knowledge brings you to orgasm, but I don't end up cumming. It feels good though.

Only problem is my clitoris. My clitoris just doesn't engorge... It's never sensitive. He'll try stimulating it, and it feels good but there's no "tingle". I might as well just be getting a massage. The ONLY way I can orgasm with my clitoris is by masturbating with porn.

I'd like to add that I do have a few stressors in my life and often have trouble relaxing. But I have no problem when I look at porn. I never had a boyfriend before him. From a young age I've used porn to get off and I'm worried that I might be dependent on it.

What I'm really asking is, how can I feel so good inside when I feel so numb on the outside? Don't the two spots go hand-in-hand? Why does my clitoris ONLY respond to porn? Am I not relaxed enough?

It feels like... when I fantasize about girls, I want nothing but to rub my clitoris. When I fantasize about men, I want nothing but to stick something inside of me.

For the record, I'm not a lesbian. I was never attracted to girls. I have no desire to be physically or emotionally intimate with a girl. After a while of watching porn, though, the only way I could easily get off is if I were watching girls in porn. It's the power of suggestion I think. It's the fantasy itself I get off on... not the girls themselves... if that makes sense?

[oxy-moron]

Hi
Your problem is porn- if you get conditioned to using it your brain becomes desensitised.
When you strike a real person- things no longer work as they should.
Go to a site called your brain on porn. Give up the porn- it may take 6 months to be truly effective though. Good luck. Lots of mention of it here if you search too.

[Ashlee T.]

There's only one sure fire way to know if it's "porn dependency" and that is to, like oxy said, give up the porn. I know that's like asking a smoker to give up their smokes, but consider it a trial run. No porn for a month and see what happens.

Men have the same problem. And really, it's not so much the porn as it is the masturbation. They just seem to go hand in hand. We can do things to ourselves through masturbation that men just don't seem to be able to do for us. Orgasms feel great so we keep coming back for more where we know we can find them. Makes sense. BUT if it's causing you a problem in your sex life, it's totally worth giving it up for a bit and see what happens.