[Mes T]

TooTiebug...

What's stopping you from asking him directly about this?

I don't disagree with these types of fetishes/behaviors, but if my boyfriend suddenly wanted to don a dress in the bedroom the FIRST thing I would do is ask him about it.

You've been going along with these activities, so at the moment he's completely clueless that you think this is at least a little bit odd.

Ask him! TODAY!

Open communication. Go, go, go!

[punchdrunkloved]

So glad Lovemybabe is in on this topic as I was going to example him as just being a fantastic example of heterosexuality and being able to enjoy something that isn't the "norm". Its more prevalent than we know because no one talks about it. In my everyday life I am very dominant, kids etc etc however, behind closed doors with my husband I enjoy being dominated. It serves as a release from the everyday and lets me be someone different for a bit. Ok, that having been said, if your comfort levels are being pushed too far try talking to him about toning it down a bit and perhaps working up to the "kinkier" things. I do think its a good start that you have been willing to indulge him a bit. I think he needs to let go of his defenses though and talk to you openly about what he is feeling. I don't believe it makes him gay or even bi. I could think of many benefits that could be reaped from such a relationship as yours.

[TooTiebug]

Everyone has really got me thinking less about the bisexual things. I appreciate all posts!
Mes t made a good point... i do kinda feel like he has no clue how i feel because last night we began messing around and when he asked if he was going to wear anything sexy i said yeah if you want and he was like no what do you want baby? Like he wants to make sure i want this to and i just agree to do it because he wants to. I just dont get why when i bring it up he gets defensive and changes the subject! I guess he's just embarrassed? Or he thinks i like this? And that maybe he feels like i would get turned on thinking he is a girl? Idk ik only way to find out is to ask i just don't want home to feel like I'm judging him. By the way... i am terrible at communication. i always hold things I'n until its tooo late and think people can just read my mind (one reason we are no longer engaged) I'm really going to try to do it tonight! Cross your fingers everyone!

[TooTiebug]

Oh i needa correct myself... I said i just agree because he wants me too ...But that's really how it started... Because last night i brought panties and a vibrator for him without him knowing. So i guess that does mean I'm opening up to it? Right?

[Mes T]

Ah hang on it's not fair for you to be buying him girlie things and encouraging him, yet behind his back be questioning what he's doing?

No more doing anything like this in the bedroom unless you talk about. The longer you hold it in and "pretend" to go along with it, the more embarassed and guilty he'll feel once you reveal that you're actually questioning his behavior.

And by the way remind him that you ARE just questioning, not condemning. You just want to know why he likes this. And maybe suggest doing things YOU like in the bedroom half the time, then the other half of the time he can dress up like a girl.

I'm sure he wants to please you as much as you want to please him. So, talk! It's never too late to learn to communicate.

[Chas]

I agree that he's not gay or bi. I guess that's because I have had similar fantasies (and I don't think I'm gay or bi), though not strong enough to really suggest them to my wife, but maybe the next time I'm feeling really horny I will!!!

It's significant to me that he's willing to be so open with you. He's really being vulnerable, asking you to participate in such a kinky activity. Exposing himself to that degree of vulnerability tells me he is very comfortable with you, and I think that is rare in a relationship. You should't be afraid to reciprocate.

I think it's fantastic that you are embracing it enough to buy him panties and encourage him. I wish my wife would enbrace and encourage my kinky side more. She tolerates it, but doesn't really encourage it. For example, occasionally I enjoy being spanked when I get real horny. One time I almost came because of it. My wife will do it reluctantly, but what a thrill if she would really embrace it. If she took on the role as dominatrix and turned me over her knee and really took care of business, that would really heighten the thrill for me.

The bottom line for me is that all this stuff is fair game if you're both into it. It sounds like the only thing holding you back is that you think it may be over the line. I say go for it.

[Jimbeau]

Sounds like he may be more into his fetish than into you. I'd probably start looking around for a new boyfriend. That's a lot of baggage to carry around for the rest of your life.

[TooTiebug]

It is kinda funny that you mention that he seems more into the fettish than to me because well last night i felt the same way! When i first got to his house everything was great we had so much fun just laughing and talking well eventually we were in his room and messing around. I waited to see how long it would take before he mentioned me making him a . Surprisingly, he didnt say anything for a while. at one point i was riding him and i noticed that his eyes were closed (witch is fine, but it made me think of my X and how he and i could look directly into eachothers eyes while doing anything and feel that connection...yet he and i were engaged and he cant even look at me during sex?), then something didnt feel right and i slid off his and well it was going soft!!! so i played with it and hard again.. he made me get back on and this time he started saying you like when your litte s you... you want your naughty little you so i said yes and he asked if i brought anything to make him look sexy...(making me feel unsexy... which is ridiculous because this is the first guy i have ever been with who makes me feel unsexy and wants to be told hes sexy!) i had not ..so he asked if he could wear my panties and i told him he didnt need them. So we changed positions and he ed me. it was good and all but made me think i have to talk to him about this tonight! so a few hours after watching tv he must have gotten horney again because his fingers started feeling on me. and the famous words baby make me your was said so i said how do you want me to do that baby? and he was like i dont know you tell me and i said no i want you to tell me.. so he started telling me what he wanted and i was kind of getting turned on and i could feel how much harder and "wetter" his had become so i said baby you get so much more turned on when we talk about this and he stopped and was like what? and with out runing the mood and trying to act like it would turn me on to hear it i said baby tell me what made you realize you liked to be so kinky and he was like i dont know just because i figured you would be bored with me by now if i wasnt (now let me say this... i had sex with my x boyfriend for 6 years before my current boyfriend.... i was never bored during sex and neither was my x so i dont see why he would think I would be the bored one?) and i was like oh ok well tell me more baby like when did u start thinking you wanted to be a little and all and then he says why do you think i am most turned on when we talk about that? and i said you just seem to be baby thats all and he was like no when i you i am the hornest or whatever (which i do not believe that he is HARDER and hornier THAN EVER when he is getting told he is the and will have to suck a "" (dildo) or take it up the ) then all of a sudden he starts saying never again! you think im weird im not doing this anymore i cant believe this and im like baby im not saying any of that i just wanna no what made you realize you liked that? like u have to just come to realize it? i figured hearing it would turn me on but that didnt work out. he pulled his shorts back up and held me and said just drop it baby. i turned over and then he stole the covers so i got up to use the bathroom and we were both up again. and so once back in the bed he wanted me to rub his again... which i did and i say i would like to know what it feels like for a day to have a just if it feels the same to orgasm like it does for me. and well i guess that started to turn him on and he rubbed my for like a second then started rubin his and i figured what the so i did it to myself. well the conversation took a turn to me having a and him sucking on it while dressed as a girl and eventaully me ing him... it just fustrates me sometimes because he is everything i want in a man but the sex.. i mean i can deal with it for now but i dont know how much longer. i dont like being the "man" or not feeling sexy it sucks. im so happy that he is comfortable and can trust me but its annoying that it seems like every time we have sex or mess around that topic comes up ... like i feel like I cant turn him on myself... i guess it just ****es me off because my X made me feel so sexy and special and he couldnt keep his hands/lips off me. he wanted ME doing things to him he wanted ME to be the and do stuff to him not the other way around. i really dont want to have to ends with my boyfriend i am trying to be so open and supportive and fulfill his fettish but i cant do this everytime!