[oddmidas]

Where do I even start? I guess the beginning would be good. I've never really spoken about my problems until now and am really hoping someone can help shed some light . I first got my period when I was 12. I didn't get it again for 6 months. My cycles have always been like that. The shortest gap was 2 months, and the longest over a year. I am now 22. I had sex for the first time when I was 16, I've had 7 different men in total. I have never orgasmed. My current bf and I have been together for almost 2 years and while I really want to want to have sex, I just lack desire more and more and I have been dealing with sexual pain as well. I am very prone to UTIs and have since I was a child, I have also had 2 abortions in my lifetime and since the last one I really have not felt right. It was a year and a half ago by the way and the first was another 2 years before that. In the beginning I would bleed easily, be very sore.. Now it just is uncomfortable a lot of the time and it seems easier for him to go too deep. I feel a terrible cramp sort of pain around my lower abdomen and it will sharply shoot all the way up to my rib cage. It lasts for days and I still feel sensitive for much longer than that. I am feeling more and more apprehensive towards sex and it is depressing, it hurts in some way every time. I also have pretty low self esteem and am harder on myself since I have gained weight, I hate to even look at myself.. Let alone let my man see me. I am not very big but bigger than I am accustomed to, although I have lost about 25 lbs. I just don't know what is wrong with me and I hate that I don't know what its like to -really- have sex... I don't understand what is so special about it and I want to. If anyone has any insight I would be extremely grateful for your advice... Thanks in advance and take care to all

[Mes T]

Hi hun, I'm not sure I can explain why you are having so much physical discomfort... Have you seen a doctor about that? If not I recommend you do, it could be an infection or something... Dangerous but otherwise easily treatable, you know?

You need to go on birth control as soon as possible. There are lots of methods out there, but for you I'd recommend the pill, at least for a few months. I rarely ever recommend hormonal options, but for you a) it would regulate your cycles once and for all and b) it would save you having more abortions! It worries me you've had two - get on birth control and save yourself all that awful hassle.

Orgasms - no one can give you an orgasm unless you give yourself one first. A man can't do it for you if you don't teach him how, and you can't teach him how unless you learn yourself first. Focus on your clitoris, use your fingers with some lube, preferably even purchase a small vibrator (for external use only). Thing of things that turn you on - certain books, movies, even porn videos. Light candles, lay on your bed, make yourself sensual and comfortable. And explore your body and the wonderful sensations you can give yourself.

If I were you I would stop having intercourse (penis in vagina) right now until further notice.

[oddmidas]

Hi! Sorry I forgot to mention my birth control history. I started on the pill when I was 16, and it really didn't work out for me, so I've been on depo since then except recently... But we use condoms. I have been wanting to try something like a nuva ring. My boyfriend really wants me to get checked out, so I think I will. The last time I had a physical I was 17, and the nurse said if I always had irregular periods it shouldn't be an issue. But who knows?