[Elanor-Jane]

I am actually not sure why "Porn" entered this conversation to start with?

I can't see that being part of the OP's discussion. And I am therefore wondering if this will be turned into a Porn thread instead of perhaps what the OP's opinion is on masterbation for a man and what role a woman should play, that it doesn't appear that us women totally agree to

There is a thread relating to this where porn and masturbation are seen to be offensive and I think it's all being tied in here on this thread. One poster is concerned that her bf looks at pornographic pics when he masturbates etc

[CHANDLERS WISH]

We've had a lot of threads about this. Can I say now that the vast majority of men would rather have sex with their female partner than do it themselves. Remember that he chose you because he fancied you, you were sexually attractive. To all those women who moan about this, can I suggest you do the following; a) Ask yourself if your man is getting sexual release at the intervals he requires?, b) Offer to give him a hand/mouth job whenever he needs sex but you don't, c) Offer to take control of his penis and make sure that he is regularly satisfied. If you do all this and he still prefers his own hand, then I suggest you get another man

Back to subject I don't see any word Porn on this particular thread hense I am suggesting we remain on track to the subject at hand.

[jns]

We've had a lot of threads about this. Can I say now that the vast majority of men would rather have sex with their female partner than do it themselves. Remember that he chose you because he fancied you, you were sexually attractive. To all those women who moan about this, can I suggest you do the following; a) Ask yourself if your man is getting sexual release at the intervals he requires?, b) Offer to give him a hand/mouth job whenever he needs sex but you don't, c) Offer to take control of his penis and make sure that he is regularly satisfied. If you do all this and he still prefers his own hand, then I suggest you get another man.

No matter what his needs are and how well they are met, the relationship has to be mutual and fairly even. Maybe the guy needs to do the same thing for the lady.

[Guest]

Not saying it should not be reciprocated, and I'm not saying masturbation is harmful. When not in a relationship most of us have no choice other than to masturbate. What I am saying is that those women who moan about their guys masturbating behind their back, or to porn, should use my check list first. In this way they can see whether the problem is on their side. Yes, people have differing sex drives as well. But it's simply an excuse to say"well we had sex last week, so he won't need it for another week", or "I don't feel like sex this week, so , even if he has the urge, I don't need it". Women do not have as high sex drives as man. Fact. The reason for this is that men have higher testosterone levels than women. Generally speaking on both counts. Therefore, most of the time, (generally) it will be the man that feels the urge more often. All I'm saying is that those women, before they moan, should appreciate this. When we need sex we can't ignore it and hope it will go away. Asking a frustrated man to avoid any kind of sex is like asking a woman to avoid having a period. When you think about it as well, how much effort is it to give your man a quick hand job when he needs it? Five minutes!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

THOMASSSSSS I love a debate

What I am saying is that those women who moan about their guys masturbating behind their back, or to porn, should use my check list first. In this way they can see whether the problem is on their side.

But this is exactly as you put it. The women whom have replied including me don't agree with you, and the men say no as well, it's a two way street and if we are tired, we are tired, we are not robots, blow up dolls And, I specifically took the porn out of here because that is another thread, nothing to do with what you posted, and consequently sticking to your opinion on masterbation and why men do it, or what we should do in order for them not to, is the topic at hand

Women do not have as high sex drives as man. Fact.

?? Pardon? Have you read the countless thread of women missing out or women wanting it 3 times a day every day and the men can't keep up? It's real, that's a fact...

All I'm saying is that those women, before they moan, should appreciate this. When we need sex we can't ignore it and hope it will go away. Asking a frustrated man to avoid any kind of sex is like asking a woman to avoid having a period. When you think about it as well, how much effort is it to give your man a quick hand job when he needs it? Five minutes!

No woman has disagreed that we understand that it's a fair thing, to offer this, out of respect, if we have been too tired, too often.

But, I am not getting why you feel it's manta that if we were to always give blow jobs, masterbate him, if we can't offer sex, or don't want to, then everything is sweet.

What about us? I asked you that but you didn't answer What about our needs as well? How many women masterbate at some point? Puts hands up.

You have a debate on your hands young man.

Yes, I agree that if a woman complains about a man always masterbating and not give, there "may" be an underlying problem there being that she does nothing, no bj's no masterbating him, and no sex and that "COULD" be the reason why but it is not THE reason in all cases nor the answer in all cases, it can also be that he wants to, as you said it's 5 minutes and after all it's a chore for alot of men to go the whole yards with us ladies so we have a real good time:P

[Guest]

Don't disagree with any of that CW. Women have urges as well, and exactly the same applies to that scenario. But you hardly ever hear of a man complaining that his wife masturbates behindhis back. If she does, then he has to check the points as well. It works both ways. Of course it does. All I'm saying, and sticking rigidly to the point here, is that those women who complain need to to check the vital signs first before accepting that it is only he with the "problem"
By the way, thanks for calling me a young man ! Made my day

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think what you are saying is "ladies", please, consider instead of being hurt over his masterbations, work out if there is a sexual problem in your relationship and perhaps give a little more, because if you ignore for long periods of time, not even a bj, then what is a man mean't to do?

Would that be fair?

Well you are a young man.

[Little]

Women do not have as high sex drives as man. Fact.

I think the word you were looking for there was fiction. Either that, or go have a chat with my muscle-bound, Go Army, testosterone-run ex-boyfriend about how high HIS sex drive wasn't. I'm practically rolling on the ground from laughter here.

You would indeed have gotten a better response with CW's suggestion. I understand that was your intention. But instead, your suggestions smacked of entitlement and superiority. Sounding something like, "Never fear, ladies. I am a man and I will help you regulate your silly little emotions and please your man." The 50's called, and they want their misogyny back. Knowing your previous posts, I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, right?

[elizathornberry]

Elizathornberry- It's been found in research that porn can be harmful if a man is choosing it over a healthy sex life or expecting partners to emulate what they watch in the porn. This is more common in younger men that have no real concept of sex compared to what they see in porn. Men like Russel Brand have admitted to having had a sex addiction which I'm guessing encompassed alot of porn and he was an extreme case rehab etc, in your mind the natural process would make him one step away from a child rapist??

I'm not necessarily saying that it will definately turn into that, just saying that porn opens the door for weird fetishes which could be anything- for some it is children, some use violence, etc. These odd fetishes often lead to crimes such as rape and doing other 'unnatural' sex acts. No, this is not always the case. But porn is highly addictive and can lead to what I said above.

[elizathornberry]

I don't like it because, personally, I send my boyfriend explicit pictures whenever he asks (When we're not together).. Literally every time. and we have a great sex life, I'm always down, we usually do it 2-3x PER DAY when we're together (haha I'm not even kidding!).. Sooo I don't get why he can't use my pictures the rest of the time. He keeps saying he doesn't care about it that much but then he can't live without it. Seems like it's becoming an addiction. And porn addictions can be very bad, they start small and slowly build up. I've seen them ruin relationships, because at first the porn is satisfying. Then, like any addiction, they need/want more and more and more for it to still be satisfying. Then eventually the porn doesn't do it anymore, they have to move on to real people, etc. And in rare cases they end up like serious (sometimes child) rapists. Most serious rapists have a history of a pornography problem. This is the most serious cases, but it's very very easily to get addicted to and I've seen it ruin a few very good marriages/relationships. that's why I don't like it.

just to make this clear - I don't think masturbating is wrong by any means! I think it is natural and healthy. - just when it becomes out of hand and starts to involve any weird fetishes. Sorry if that was confusing!