[Guest]

Elanor-Jane,

If you have read my original post, I was referring to reconciling "polls" that are routinely found in magazines about various topics of sexual nature with actual experience. As I have written, such polls are not scientific. They are marketing gimmicks designed to coax purchase. This is a favorite method of one widely read female magazine. "How to please any man in 0.8 seconds..."

Knowing your body well at 26, as we have discussed, does not provide data that can be extrapolated to the whole female population. However, the whole female population does have a clitoris. It is the most sensitive organ on he human body. Its only function is to provide sexual pleasure. And they will only reward women if they are caressed in a manner that's pleasurable for them. And for most women, it is a component of a process, or more commonly known as foreplay. And many men have no idea how to entice a clitoris to release maximum sexual pleasure if they even know where it is!

My direct experience, and I just had another woman tell me again last night that it's accurate, is that women prefer oral sex IF IT'S PERFORMED CORRECTLY.

Here's another thesis for you: An old girlfriend who was quite experienced told me she never knew an orgasm was so intensive until the first time I had gone down on her. She told me she had never experienced such comprehensive sexual ecstasy. Then she began pondering her past sexual experiences that culminated with, "I wonder if what I had experienced were really actually orgasms." So here's my thesis: many women have what they believe are orgasms, but are less than explosive, massive orgasms that women can have if their men knew how to create sexual experiences as opposed to engaging in sex acts. I knew a woman who was married, over 40, and had never had an orgasm. Her husband was terrible in bed and made no effort to learn. And I know many women like her. Usually when I hear women say she doesn't like sex my first thought is she doesn't like bad sex. When women have great sex they crave it more than men.

Elanor-Jane, this has my experience. And I wish I were able to draft an hypothesis to test my theory. But I do know many women who are in relationships with men who are terrible in bed. Now you have made it obvious that your mileage varies. As long as you're happy in the car that's being driven for you, I am happy for you. But believe me, I know for an absolute fact that other women enjoy extremely long road trips that leave then wafting upon white, puffy clouds of ecstasy.

A rule I try to abide is that sex should always be an experience and never an act. And the experience should begin the second the date begins. With a girlfriend with whom a palpable chemistry existed, we knew the second we saw each other what awaited us later that evening. The intensity of what would always follow would increase during dinner when she would rest her legs on my lap, the foot massage that followed dinner, the excellent conversation during wine, the transformation of her eyes to enticing bedroom eyes, the sedateness of her voice, her hands reaching to touch me, and the hug and kiss upon leaving the restaurant. And long before I ever thought about entering her, the foreplay was long, intense, erotic with lots of nasty bedroom talk that she loved to hear and say, extensive oral attention to all areas of her body especially her nipples which showed I loved all of her, until she could no longer wait another second and guided my head where she wanted it while telling me what she immediately wanted, "I want to cum!" Our intimacy was always expressed in experiences. They were never, ever acts. They literally lasted hours.

Once one knows the wondrous ecstasy of sexual experiences, one avoids sex acts.


Take care,

Taos

[Ashlee T.]

Most women I know that have experienced both, prefer gspot orgasm to clitoral orgasm. The gspot orgasm seems to be much more rare and many women go their entire lives without experiencing it because men are SO focused on the clit. The two are very very different. So perhaps most of the women you are dealing with have never truly experienced a gspot orgasm, therefore crave the clitoral orgasm. The only time I truly have a clitoral orgasm (unless I'm doing it myself...haha) is during oral sex. But, I'd MUCH MUCH MUCH prefer the gspot orgasm which can only be achieved through penetration. Here's the kicker, I've only been with one man who was able to assist me to a gspot orgasm. I might marry the next man that does. (maybe. lol) Some guys get close enough that it's still very pleasurable to me. But not quite there. The bond created between two people in love when a woman literally gushes all over him is beyond anything I can describe. It's a magical experience for both. And it is totally totally different than anything I've ever experienced with a clitoral orgasm.

The moral of the story is this, if you've "perfected" the art of oral sex = giving clitoral orgasms, that's fantastic. But don't focus so much on that, that you lose sight of the true prize.........which for MANY of us is the gspot orgasm.

[Little]

I feel like Taos has had a backslide from yesterday. I thought we'd convinced him that there are women who've had amazing oral sex orgasms and still preferred penetration.

Taos, your post makes me gag, literally. Good thing I haven't had breakfast this morning. You're bragging about your oral sex prowess, flexing your muscles, and basically saying "Any woman who had oral sex from ME would NEVER prefer penetration!" I'm glad you've got such confidence. But excuse us if we continue to value our previous experiences with spectacular oral sex and still like penetration better. No amount of explaining how erotic or terrific your oral sex skills are will sway us, and to tell the truth it's downright creepy.

I agree with Elanor-Jane. You came asking what women really prefer, and you've not listened to a WORD we've said, instead clinging to your original idea. If you don't intend to listen, why bother?

[Guest]

Good Morning, Little,

Your assumption is incorrect, for I have never even remotely intimated that women do not desire penetration. The fact is women seem to enjoy penetration even more after orgasm.

From my experience, very few women achieve orgasm from penetration. And this is borne out statistically. I believe it's fewer than <20% of women who can achieve orgasm from intercourse alone. Now I am sure you can, but it would place you in a small minority.

And believe me, I do listen, which is my preferred method of learning about women's desires. And I do appreciate your differing take on this issue.

Finally, I am good at oral sex. But I was not born with natural ability. I took time to learn and make myself good because I wanted, and still do for that matter, to help women achieve maximum pleasure.

I have two neighbors who are sisters. We talk sex all the time; however we are not FWB. Not five minutes ago one of the sisters was telling me about gushing and oral sex. Seems that both of these women prefer oral sex provided its done correctly. And that seems to be the gist of the problem: not enough men take time to learn how to do it correctly.



Have a GREAT Weekend,

Taos

[Guest]

Beautiful Disaster,

I agree with you. Oral sex should be combined with digital G-spot stimulation. From my direct experience, it takes women literally minutes to recover from oral sex orgasms with G-spot stimulation. I have experienced this many, many times. Conversely, I have never, ever seen a woman even remotely as satisfied from ANY other type of orgasm. But I can understand how others' mileage will vary.

And you're right on target about being in love with a woman where a mystical chemical bond is palpable. The bonding that occurs during intense passion is unbelievable. It is what separates an act from an experience.


Take care,

Taos

[Guest]

Little,

I forgot one very important fact: all activity leading to penetration is foreplay. It is foreplay that makes penetration pleasurable and creates an intense bonding. To my way of looking at this topic, foreplay should always augment the crescendo.


Take care,

Taos

[Cyndie32]

not only is each women different but depending on the day, my mood, and many other different variables, i could get off one time and not another. today, i prefer misionary. tomorrow it might be oral. there are to many different variables to guess. it also depends on the man. i was married for 20 years and sometime sex was good and sometimes not. so to answer your question, ask your lover what does it for her. it is the only way you will get it right!

[Guest]

Cyndie32,

You are absolutely right about communication. I always encourage women to tell what they want me to do. Often, I learn by listening to women during dinner conversations, especially after a few glasses of wine. I always make it a point to be especially attentive to women whenever and wherever they talk about sex. And I pay close attention to how they say what they say. When they tell me that a friend she knows tried something and hated it, what she's probably saying is that she has tried it and hated it. Conversely, when she says a friend really likes something when her boyfriend does it, what she's assuredly telling me is that that's what she wants me to do. But when were alone, I prefer shyness vanquished and desires revealed.

But then again, I have always been a pronounced romantic.


Take care,

Taos

[Elanor-Jane]

*Yawn*

[Elanor-Jane]

I think the term is orally fixated. Has anyone seen the Kevin Smith film cop out? Tracy Jordan and Bruce Willis? Thinking of that now, Tracy Jordan is a cack