[Tember]

This may sound like a rude question, and Im not meaning any jugdment on you at all, but, when you have sex do you make an effort to please her, or do you just go for "The Big O"?

Im not trying to imply that you dont care about her enjoyment, but when I talk to my lady friends and they complain about how much they find their partners sex drive annoying, and its VERY common, (ugh, he brought me FLOWERS today...you know what THAT means....) its usually because they dont get anything out of the sex. Maybe you could try asking her what would really turn her on. Pamper her, make it all about her.
Her lack of initiative may simply be that shes more submissive in the bedroom, which does mean a lot more work for you, but its not nessisarily bad.

Im just brainstorming though. If its not a simple matter or finding what turns her crank, she might want to see a doctor.

[Needahand]

Yes, trust me...she more O's than me. Often more than one during intercourse, plus I consider it a gift to be able to give her oral and she rarely gives it, never swallows, and is frankly lame at it.

She definately has O's and I am very sensitive to that.

[Elanor-Jane]

Yeah my ex bf thought I was having o's too until I told him I'd been faking it as the sex was so boring for me I just wanted it over and done with. It's not hard to mimick muscle contractions in your muff. Once I had the guts to tell him this he started to listen to what I wanted and the sex became alot better. If she wants u to hurry up chances are she's faking it. You'd be surprised how many women do. But it's like a code, you don't even tell your friends u do it until the relationship is over. It's embarrassing that u have to do it so it's not really mentioned alot. I wasn't faking with a young man either he was 36-37 and very exp, but I'm hard work to please and he genuinely thought I was having O's.

[Guest]

I haven't been able to get her to understand that it isn't just some whim but is rather very important to my overall well being. Her take is that, if she doesn't want to try new things she shouldn't have to. And she is right.

No, she is not right, when you get married my friend, you give up your body to your wife and vice verse. If you don't understand this, you'll never achieve complete trust and devotion that allows both of you to enjoy your god given sexuality and desires.

Anthropologically speaking, men get married to have sex as often as they can, spiritually, men have as much kinky sex that allows them to think about their wifes, the more incredible and hot sex is, the more men (since we are visual) think about their wives, this makes woman be seeing as goddess, since they potential sexual pleasure that we can receive from them is not match by anything in this world. Only women can make men the most happy spices on earth.

Think about this, a 77 years old woman stated that the secret to her 55 years of amazing marriage was that she learned very early in her marriage that the lady needed to stay outside the bedroom every night, that inside the bedroom she become a sexual power house, and this make her husband appriciate her so much, because he understood that in this society we live in (that ruins peoples mind and believes about sex) that he needed to take care of this angel in earth taking care of the most secret ways to make him happy.....

At the end of the day, those couples that are able to want the samethings in lives around sex and intimacy are those who can really say they are truly happy....i am lucky i am one of them....

[ItsASecret]

No, she is not right, when you get married my friend, you give up your body to your wife and vice verse. If you don't understand this, you'll never achieve complete trust and devotion that allows both of you to enjoy your god given sexuality and desires.

There is no ownership of a body after marriage. You can let your SO play, touch, feel your body absolutely....but there is no absolute ownership involved, you do not give your body away like some object.

Anthropologically speaking, men get married to have sex as often as they can, spiritually, men have as much kinky sex that allows them to think about their wifes, the more incredible and hot sex is, the more men (since we are visual) think about their wives, this makes woman be seeing as goddess, since they potential sexual pleasure that we can receive from them is not match by anything in this world. Only women can make men the most happy spices on earth.

Anthropologically speaking men are wanting to spread their seed with the woman that physically suits their offspring's best needs. Current cultural life involves a man wanting porn grade sex because he likes the way it looks, that does not mean she shares the same opinion. That does not bode well for the woman that does not want her man to only want her if she acts kinky and hardcore. There is no responsibility of a woman to act, portray, or behave like a hardcore porn model having 'hot kinky sex' loving anal or chugging cum (for example) simply because a man saw it in a movie clip once and now believes his sex life should be a mirror image of that. If a woman is not a kinky girl she is not going to do kinky things, that man should not go off in a huff because of that.

[Hopeless Dork]

I might have to agree with Elanor that there is a possibility she's faking it. It seems highly unlikely that a woman that gets immense pleasure from sex, enjoys it, orgasms would have no interest in it (unless something has upset her). I am not saying that is YOUR fault.. by no means. Some women are just not sexual. Some women are then lose it somewhere along the way.

How does she feel about herself? Does she have any body image issues? Is she insecure or does she ever feel like maybe you aren't finding her attractive? Sexy? Beautiful? Do you ever make negative comments about her appearance or make her feel like you find other women more beautiful than her? Are you respectful to her feelings when it comes to things like porn/ogling other beautiful women when you're out with her? All of those things can have an effect on how a woman feels about you sexually.

I suggest complimenting her, often... no matter if she brushes it off, she hears it. Make it less about 'i need you to do this for me' and more about 'i need YOU'.. if you make your desire for sex with her more about your desire for her and less about your desire to get off (not saying thats what you do currently) it becomes more about intimacy and something a woman is more likely to understand/embrace.

If my bf was to say to me, 'I've been horny all day' before touching that makes me feel less attached to him, less in the moment than if he were to say 'thinking about YOU all day has mad me so horny'. The latter being something that would make me feel like the object of his desire and not just a means to an end.

[Elanor-Jane]

No, she is not right, when you get married my friend, you give up your body to your wife and vice verse. If you don't understand this, you'll never achieve complete trust and devotion that allows both of you to enjoy your god given sexuality and desires.

Anthropologically speaking, men get married to have sex as often as they can, spiritually, men have as much kinky sex that allows them to think about their wifes, the more incredible and hot sex is, the more men (since we are visual) think about their wives, this makes woman be seeing as goddess, since they potential sexual pleasure that we can receive from them is not match by anything in this world. Only women can make men the most happy spices on earth.

Think about this, a 77 years old woman stated that the secret to her 55 years of amazing marriage was that she learned very early in her marriage that the lady needed to stay outside the bedroom every night, that inside the bedroom she become a sexual power house, and this make her husband appriciate her so much, because he understood that in this society we live in (that ruins peoples mind and believes about sex) that he needed to take care of this angel in earth taking care of the most secret ways to make him happy.....

At the end of the day, those couples that are able to want the samethings in lives around sex and intimacy are those who can really say they are truly happy....i am lucky i am one of them....

Not all men want adventurous sex, I am currently trying to get my bf to open up to different things, so I think this is a gross generalization. There are alot of bored married men who want kinky sex in my exp.
I hate that whole mother housewife come wonderwoman in the bedroom thing. It's BS. Why isn't it the same for us? Father provider come sexual dynamo in the bedroom. Don't hear much of that being something in existence that keeps families together. It's very sexist. Submit to my whims in the bedroom and we will have an awesome relationship! Lol

[rcoreyus]

I'm almost positive that my wife really does orgasm regularly from sex (or related activities), but she still has no interest in it. Would generally prefer to take care of herself with a vibrator. I think that intimacy just isn't important to some women, and if all they want is an orgasm, they can take care of themselves more easily. (And I do all of the above compliments, non-sexual touches etc).

I might have to agree with Elanor that there is a possibility she's faking it. It seems highly unlikely that a woman that gets immense pleasure from sex, enjoys it, orgasms would have no interest in it (unless something has upset her). I am not saying that is YOUR fault.. by no means. Some women are just not sexual. Some women are then lose it somewhere along the way.

.

[Needahand]

Thx all - and of course especially the ladies. I do compliment her a lot. But she definately has some image hang-ups, I'll be sure to stay sensitive to that.

[Guest]

This may sound like a rude question, and Im not meaning any jugdment on you at all, but, when you have sex do you make an effort to please her, or do you just go for "The Big O"?

Im not trying to imply that you dont care about her enjoyment, but when I talk to my lady friends and they complain about how much they find their partners sex drive annoying, and its VERY common, (ugh, he brought me FLOWERS today...you know what THAT means....) its usually because they dont get anything out of the sex. Maybe you could try asking her what would really turn her on. Pamper her, make it all about her.
Her lack of initiative may simply be that shes more submissive in the bedroom, which does mean a lot more work for you, but its not nessisarily bad.

Im just brainstorming though. If its not a simple matter or finding what turns her crank, she might want to see a doctor.

To do this, you need to be real friends and have real trust to talk about it....and remember, communication is only achieved if the other addresses your concerns, and talk to you about them.