[Guest]

I'm almost positive that my wife really does orgasm regularly from sex (or related activities), but she still has no interest in it. Would generally prefer to take care of herself with a vibrator. I think that intimacy just isn't important to some women, and if all they want is an orgasm, they can take care of themselves more easily. (And I do all of the above compliments, non-sexual touches etc).

That should not take you down, you could offer yourself to giver her the "o" with a vibrator, and just when she is getting there, just be ready and penetrate her when she is close to cum, you'll see how feeling you make her big "O" even stronger than with only the vibrator...it only takes once of twice that you give her mind blowing "os" for them to ask you the same every night, with my wife take the magic wand to play every day....she gets horny instantly, after that, she becomes this amazing lover is just incredible - how she takes care of me wow!...good luck

[ItsASecret]

That should not take you down, you could offer yourself to giver her the "o" with a vibrator, and just when she is getting there, just be ready and penetrate her when she is close to cum, you'll see how feeling you make her big "O" even stronger than with only the vibrator...it only takes once of twice that you give her mind blowing "os" for them to ask you the same every night, with my wife take the magic wand to play every day....she gets horny instantly, after that, she becomes this amazing lover is just incredible - how she takes care of me wow!...good luck

It really does not always work like that. If a woman, or man, does not want sex they do not want sex. It can be a lot easier to just give themselves and orgasm which is why so many do, just get it done and no need for the half hour massage or 20 minute oral just to get a single sexual tingle going. You can offer the world of flowers, massages, chocolate body rubs, whip cream dream licks whatever it may be but you cannot make that person actively want it. Each person man or woman is different in their response to everything. If the wife has grabbed the vibrator and started even before her husband knows and he walks in it is very clear her intent was the vibrator and not waiting for him to stick himself in there while she was getting 'prepped'. Walking in on someone for example does not always lead to "this is so hot that you walked in on me doing myself to someone/something else now go for it and give me an orgasm", it can quite often be embarrassment "oh I was not doing anything do not worry about it" and pants up end of story. It is not some training sequence do it a couple times and you now have someone who will always have their partner give them an orgasm instead, does not work like that, the solo sessions can still occur even if they truly enjoy having that orgasm from their partner.

[Guest]

It really does not always work like that. If a woman, or man, does not want sex they do not want sex. It can be a lot easier to just give themselves and orgasm which is why so many do, just get it done and no need for the half hour massage or 20 minute oral just to get a single sexual tingle going. You can offer the world of flowers, massages, chocolate body rubs, whip cream dream licks whatever it may be but you cannot make that person actively want it. Each person man or woman is different in their response to everything. If the wife has grabbed the vibrator and started even before her husband knows and he walks in it is very clear her intent was the vibrator and not waiting for him to stick himself in there while she was getting 'prepped'. Walking in on someone for example does not always lead to "this is so hot that you walked in on me doing myself to someone/something else now go for it and give me an orgasm", it can quite often be embarrassment "oh I was not doing anything do not worry about it" and pants up end of story. It is not some training sequence do it a couple times and you now have someone who will always have their partner give them an orgasm instead, does not work like that, the solo sessions can still occur even if they truly enjoy having that orgasm from their partner.

IF THIS WERE THE CASE, IN MY BOOK, THEY ALREADY GREW APART....AND NO PASSION IS LEFT...TOO BAD, what I say is that for a couple to grow and get to a point where both feel comfortable with enjoying each others bodies, then the love must not be there anymore, at least, not the kind I feel for my wife and she feels for me, the kind that makes you change for your marriage...I have changed quite a bit too - if she wants a break a break we have, if she doesn't want me to play with her behind, I don't, I respect her because she respect my need for feel sexy and wanted...is about given each other what the other needs to feel special...

[Guest]

There is no ownership of a body after marriage. You can let your SO play, touch, feel your body absolutely....but there is no absolute ownership involved, you do not give your body away like some object.



Anthropologically speaking men are wanting to spread their seed with the woman that physically suits their offspring's best needs. Current cultural life involves a man wanting porn grade sex because he likes the way it looks, that does not mean she shares the same opinion. That does not bode well for the woman that does not want her man to only want her if she acts kinky and hardcore. There is no responsibility of a woman to act, portray, or behave like a hardcore porn model having 'hot kinky sex' loving anal or chugging cum (for example) simply because a man saw it in a movie clip once and now believes his sex life should be a mirror image of that. If a woman is not a kinky girl she is not going to do kinky things, that man should not go off in a huff because of that.

You don't get it, woman has the potential to have multiple orgasms, to give man incredible amount of pleasures (visual, touch, hearing, etc), woman can dance, can wear lingerie, and kiss you with love and passion....man just have ONE orgasm, and the chest and penis to feel real fisical pleasure, so in my mind, woman have the potential to match men needs and desires....now if you don't want it fine, is your decision, but I am here to say that my wife thought in the same way as you do, and now, she is completely enjoying herself....she is actually asking me for more.....it was a journey, but finally we are in a place where both are having a great time....I asked her to swallow, she says someday....and no drama what so ever....what I am saying when woman think on how to make their man really happy is not about cooking, buying us clothes or having the house clean, is about to find us around the house, and given us a wet kiss with a lot of touching...this kind of not expected love, makes us to feel closer to our wives

[junglefever]

You don't get it, woman has the potential to have multiple orgasms, to give man incredible amount of pleasures (visual, touch, hearing, etc), woman can dance, can wear lingerie, and kiss you with love and passion....man just have ONE orgasm, and the chest and penis to feel real fisical pleasure, so in my mind, woman have the potential to match men needs and desires....now if you don't want it fine, is your decision, but I am here to say that my wife thought in the same way as you do, and now, she is completely enjoying herself....she is actually asking me for more.....it was a journey, but finally we are in a place where both are having a great time....I asked her to swallow, she says someday....and no drama what so ever....what I am saying when woman think on how to make their man really happy is not about cooking, buying us clothes or having the house clean, is about to find us around the house, and given us a wet kiss with a lot of touching...this kind of not expected love, makes us to feel closer to our wives

Corection .."some women" have the potential to meet "some mens" needs...Not every woman is capable ..or even if she is beleive it or not "enjoys" mulitple orgasms for one..#2 ..women its proven have a 'peak" sexual appetite as far as her age range..but in general a womans sexual needs and "potential" actually ebb and flow MONTHLY ..and yearly..change during preganancy ..nursing ..and from other enviromental factors...A woman isnt like a man..that has a "steady and regular lasting over the decades(all other factors beign the same) libido..

But based on what you are saying..since "some men" have the 'potential" FACT to stay erect and not orgasm for 30 or 40 minutes at a time with constant thrusting..as well as SOME men have the ablility to ACHIEVE a second and "gasp" 3rd erection consecutivley one after the other after each orgasm..that I decided I want marathon sex with my husband..I could point at "other men" and say "men have the potential for this" and if he wants to make me happy through visuals and through touch and hearing..that he "should be able to do what some men can do for me..Oh and this should go on from puberty all the way up til old age I gather as well..

Also all you are referring to is physical "possiblilities" as it pertains to our genitals..you are leavign out the BRAIN..and the mental connection involved..I am a female with a healthy in fact in my prime libido.."Mentally" I desire ..or "sex sounds good" (the thought of it) far more freqently than it did in my 20s..But the over all the point is TOO much sex for me means It sounds mentally unapealing..After I have sex..there is an EXTREME loss of "interest" like you go from hot to trot even thinking about it makes you drool..to the thought of doing it makes you think YUK..think of after you eat a full meal..you are "physically" full..and MENTALLY food sounds like "no thanks" at the thought of it..Your brain is turned off..Now if you continue to try and "force yourself" ..sure you might be able to "sqeeze" in a little more sometimes..but if you are doing that regularly (forcing your self to "eat more" after you are full)..for me I LOSE "sensitivity"..touch is "dulled" visual is yuk..sound is IRRITATING..What would make me yearn with desire the day before just THINKING about it..after Im "full" the same "thought" is distasteful..and if I engage the feeligns are NOT present..physically ...and I never get to rebound and build up any desire..if Im overloaded Im desensitized and get NOTHING out of it..Mentally emotionaly or physically.the thought of it is unapealing..and thier is no "passion" inside of me the desire is FLAT.

To the OP...if your wife as you mentioned is ALREADY "compromising" for YOU ..having more sex than she wants..its then highly unrealisitc to then "expect" she really "wants" to and it shows..you are asking her to go against HER biological nature..her unique "ebb and low" and then expecting her to enjoy something..or have 'passion" that doesnt exist..Thre could even be an emotional resentment building up..becasue your even O.K with her having what amounts to unwanted and undesired sex with you on a regular basis..Thats an extremely undignified position to be in ..in the first place..to then critisize her on top of that and say " want you to really "get into it" you are askign her ot eithr A) be an actress or B) conjure up a "feeling" or desire out of knowhere..

The bottom line is even the porn stars retire..ya'll are only seing a flash in the pan of her sexual life span.besides that most of them are playing it up for the cameras..and they dont have to live with those guys either.Plus they are using all kinds of drugs and lots of alcohol to voercome inhibition and dull any discomfort..

Your "average healthy NORMAL female..isnt going to "consistently" desire sex many times a week(even daily) and have rolling screaming orgasms from puberty to 75 yeras of age..its not gonna happen..SURE there are exceptions..but ...a small fringe of women also have "nocturnal orgasms ..or spontaneous orgasms just thinking aobut sex..I actually watched a sex investigative report ..they had the woman in an cat scan actualy monitoring her brain waves..she achieved orgasm merely from "thought'(took about 10 minutes I believe) ..she is UNUSUAL...it also doesnt mean she was ALWAYS capable of doing this.or that she ALWAYS will be....or that every single woman has the potential if she would just 'try harder"..

And this is ALL based on a healthy woman with no medical problems..and takign NO medications including hormonal BC...those things just add in more ups and downs...

[junglefever]

Also another fact..someone mentioned its in a mans "primitive nature to spread his seed"...Yes but its in a womans "primitive nature' to be "selective"..A mans need to spread his seed does not euqate that he is SUPPOSED to every urge he has..and that a woman "magically" loses ALL primitive instincts as to beign receptive to it simply because she is in the relationship..The nature of beign selective as to consent..as well as her libido having ups adn downs can not "warp" into her having ZERO instincts anymore and turning into a female version of the man ..running around eager to "fertilize her egg" at the drop of the hat 24/7...A woman has an "extra sense" that we dont understand and maybe never will..but in general a female is at MUCH higher risk..with each sexual encounter as to the possiblity of becoming pregnant ..the man can not become "pregnant"..that will have something to do with her selectiveness..even if its subconscious..I mena if you want to go "primitive" .the man can mate and walk off...and take care of himself..the female could be at a disadvanage left pregnant and then with her offspring to care for alone..if she isnt 'careful"..

[stressed]

A study has recently been released about men's testosterone, and hence libido, dropping after having a child (at least temporarily). I obviously cannot post the link, but it should be easy to find. With that said, libido clearly has its ups and downs in both men and women. I personally don't buy the evolutionary explanation of "the hunter and the housewife". Individuals are different, whether they are men or women.

I'd like to reply to this specific line, by marcopoly though: "when woman think on how to make their man really happy is not about cooking, buying us clothes or having the house clean, is about to find us around the house, and given us a wet kiss with a lot of touching...this kind of not expected love, makes us to feel closer to our wives".

This is not a fact. There 'are' men who want a cook and a house cleaner, more men than you think there are. So many women welcome their husbands in underwear, only to get a "that's nice, but what do we have for dinner"? back.

But to return to the OP, you seem to have an unmatched sex drive and the best solution would be counseling, as you cannot do much about it. Like it has been mentioned, unless she realizes it's her problem and unless she wants to change this, there's nothing you can do. She's shut down.

Weekly sex only to avoid arguments is not sex (I've been there), it's worse than not having sex actually because in the end you'll even feel guilty for wanting it and "forcing" your partner into doing something she doesn't want to do.

I wish I had a solution other than therapy.

[junglefever]

A study has recently been released about men's testosterone, and hence libido, dropping after having a child (at least temporarily). I obviously cannot post the link, but it should be easy to find. With that said, libido clearly has its ups and downs in both men and women. I personally don't buy the evolutionary explanation of "the hunter and the housewife". Individuals are different, whether they are men or women.

I'd like to reply to this specific line, by marcopoly though: "when woman think on how to make their man really happy is not about cooking, buying us clothes or having the house clean, is about to find us around the house, and given us a wet kiss with a lot of touching...this kind of not expected love, makes us to feel closer to our wives".

This is not a fact. There 'are' men who want a cook and a house cleaner, more men than you think there are. So many women welcome their husbands in underwear, only to get a "that's nice, but what do we have for dinner"? back.

But to return to the OP, you seem to have an unmatched sex drive and the best solution would be counseling, as you cannot do much about it. Like it has been mentioned, unless she realizes it's her problem and unless she wants to change this, there's nothing you can do. She's shut down.

Weekly sex only to avoid arguments is not sex (I've been there), it's worse than not having sex actually because in the end you'll even feel guilty for wanting it and "forcing" your partner into doing something she doesn't want to do.

I wish I had a solution other than therapy.

Thats interesting about the drop in libido after having a child (at least temporarily)..but 'in general" a guy has LESS up and down swings in his libido month after month and over the years as females do.. cant post any links either I guess that a rule here?But a guy will have a more 'consistent libido not NO ups and downs..just in general if hes the kind of guy for intance that likes to (wants to) have sex everyday when hes 20...then at 30 it may be he likes to have sex 3 or 4 times a week instead at 50 he may have "dwindled down" to 1 or twice a week...A woman is more likely to for instance like to have sex every day for a week...and then none for 2 weeks..and then twice the next(in the same MONTH in the same YEAR)..like that.a guy seems to have more of "consistant" with not many interuptions in his libido..with not a lot of exceptions..

And Im SOOO glad you said that about guys not wanting a woman to cook or clean. When a woman offers gifts of love through domestic service..Im insulted..its like "all we want is sex"anything else you do out of care concern or LOVE for me no thanks..

Wives arent prostitutes..someone mentioned earlier because of the "mans need " for sex thats why "prostituion is the oldest job in the world..Well to that I say hire a prostitute then 3 to 5 x's a week..or everyday..Prostitutes dont have to LOVE you...they dont have to care about you ..they dont have to promise to stick by YOU when you act like a horses rear towards her..she NEVER has to see you again..she doesnt have to share her home with you ..be your OTHERWISE from sex companion .lie in bed next to you listening to you snore all night..work beside you to pay the bills...raise your children with you. She doesnt have to LOVE you or even LIKE you ..in fact she can think you are a disgusting pig that she has ZERO respect for..or is completely "indiffernt" havign ZERO feeligns at all..her motive is money....her goal is to effieicntly and "quickly"(depending on how much you want to PAY) service your sexual needs get paid and leave..They also dont have to RELY on YOU for her sexual pleasure..they FAKE it..as part of the show..they have thier own boyfriends(or husbands ) that they love and get turned on by and get their erotic needs met by..As well as prostitutes again same as porn atresses..are often times drug addicts or alcoholics to help "numb" the negatives side affects of having sex with you...So you cant compare the two..

But if thats the 'proof" somehow that men need sex week in and week out every time the urge hits them for 50 years ..they need to have good source then for an on call prostitute house they can afford..

[Guest]

Corection .."some women" have the potential to meet "some mens" needs...Not every woman is capable ..or even if she is beleive it or not "enjoys" mulitple orgasms for one..#2 ..women its proven have a 'peak" sexual appetite as far as her age range..but in general a womans sexual needs and "potential" actually ebb and flow MONTHLY ..and yearly..change during preganancy ..nursing ..and from other enviromental factors...A woman isnt like a man..that has a "steady and regular lasting over the decades(all other factors beign the same) libido..

But based on what you are saying..since "some men" have the 'potential" FACT to stay erect and not orgasm for 30 or 40 minutes at a time with constant thrusting..as well as SOME men have the ablility to ACHIEVE a second and "gasp" 3rd erection consecutivley one after the other after each orgasm..that I decided I want marathon sex with my husband..I could point at "other men" and say "men have the potential for this" and if he wants to make me happy through visuals and through touch and hearing..that he "should be able to do what some men can do for me..Oh and this should go on from puberty all the way up til old age I gather as well..

Also all you are referring to is physical "possiblilities" as it pertains to our genitals..you are leavign out the BRAIN..and the mental connection involved..I am a female with a healthy in fact in my prime libido.."Mentally" I desire ..or "sex sounds good" (the thought of it) far more freqently than it did in my 20s..But the over all the point is TOO much sex for me means It sounds mentally unapealing..After I have sex..there is an EXTREME loss of "interest" like you go from hot to trot even thinking about it makes you drool..to the thought of doing it makes you think YUK..think of after you eat a full meal..you are "physically" full..and MENTALLY food sounds like "no thanks" at the thought of it..Your brain is turned off..Now if you continue to try and "force yourself" ..sure you might be able to "sqeeze" in a little more sometimes..but if you are doing that regularly (forcing your self to "eat more" after you are full)..for me I LOSE "sensitivity"..touch is "dulled" visual is yuk..sound is IRRITATING..What would make me yearn with desire the day before just THINKING about it..after Im "full" the same "thought" is distasteful..and if I engage the feeligns are NOT present..physically ...and I never get to rebound and build up any desire..if Im overloaded Im desensitized and get NOTHING out of it..Mentally emotionaly or physically.the thought of it is unapealing..and thier is no "passion" inside of me the desire is FLAT.

To the OP...if your wife as you mentioned is ALREADY "compromising" for YOU ..having more sex than she wants..its then highly unrealisitc to then "expect" she really "wants" to and it shows..you are asking her to go against HER biological nature..her unique "ebb and low" and then expecting her to enjoy something..or have 'passion" that doesnt exist..Thre could even be an emotional resentment building up..becasue your even O.K with her having what amounts to unwanted and undesired sex with you on a regular basis..Thats an extremely undignified position to be in ..in the first place..to then critisize her on top of that and say " want you to really "get into it" you are askign her ot eithr A) be an actress or B) conjure up a "feeling" or desire out of knowhere..

The bottom line is even the porn stars retire..ya'll are only seing a flash in the pan of her sexual life span.besides that most of them are playing it up for the cameras..and they dont have to live with those guys either.Plus they are using all kinds of drugs and lots of alcohol to voercome inhibition and dull any discomfort..

Your "average healthy NORMAL female..isnt going to "consistently" desire sex many times a week(even daily) and have rolling screaming orgasms from puberty to 75 yeras of age..its not gonna happen..SURE there are exceptions..but ...a small fringe of women also have "nocturnal orgasms ..or spontaneous orgasms just thinking aobut sex..I actually watched a sex investigative report ..they had the woman in an cat scan actualy monitoring her brain waves..she achieved orgasm merely from "thought'(took about 10 minutes I believe) ..she is UNUSUAL...it also doesnt mean she was ALWAYS capable of doing this.or that she ALWAYS will be....or that every single woman has the potential if she would just 'try harder"..

And this is ALL based on a healthy woman with no medical problems..and takign NO medications including hormonal BC...those things just add in more ups and downs...

You sounds both very intelligent and complicated....I see and understand you point and I am not here to say that I know the answer to every sex problem, I am here to share my experiences in my marriage, and what I have learned is that marriage is about making sure you understand that you partner in life is the most important thing in this world for you. If you don't feel this way, you need to fix your marriage or move on.....one the love is there, the real loved is there, the potential in both (woman and man) is there to please each other very much and to very far reaching places......sex needs to be all it can be withing two people.....to me is what makes a marriage, without sex, if everything else in your lives normal, there is NO marriage (NO MATTER WHAT OTHER MAY SAY THEY ARE ALL WRONG) without sex and good sex, marriage is bound to fail........sex is the glue to our souls....

[Guest]

A study has recently been released about men's testosterone, and hence libido, dropping after having a child (at least temporarily). I obviously cannot post the link, but it should be easy to find. With that said, libido clearly has its ups and downs in both men and women. I personally don't buy the evolutionary explanation of "the hunter and the housewife". Individuals are different, whether they are men or women.

I'd like to reply to this specific line, by marcopoly though: "when woman think on how to make their man really happy is not about cooking, buying us clothes or having the house clean, is about to find us around the house, and given us a wet kiss with a lot of touching...this kind of not expected love, makes us to feel closer to our wives".

This is not a fact. There 'are' men who want a cook and a house cleaner, more men than you think there are. So many women welcome their husbands in underwear, only to get a "that's nice, but what do we have for dinner"? back.

But to return to the OP, you seem to have an unmatched sex drive and the best solution would be counseling, as you cannot do much about it. Like it has been mentioned, unless she realizes it's her problem and unless she wants to change this, there's nothing you can do. She's shut down.

Weekly sex only to avoid arguments is not sex (I've been there), it's worse than not having sex actually because in the end you'll even feel guilty for wanting it and "forcing" your partner into doing something she doesn't want to do.

I wish I had a solution other than therapy.

I see your point.....