[Needahand]

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Ladies, help me here. A great source of pleasure for me is performing analingus on my wife - I have no interest in receiving. But I only get to do it few and far between because she finds it 'gross'. What's the hang-up? She is the receiver. To me it is so intimate to be able to do it. Am I insensitive to insist?

[ItsASecret]

she finds it 'gross'. What's the hang-up?

Does she like receiving it when you do end up doing it? Thinking a vagina is gross is one thing, a person (man or woman) could say it is self cleaning and generally well kept which is the truth. The same cannot be said about the anus. It is supposed to be unclean, waste is not a haven of beauty lol. The sheer amount of dangerous microbes there is astounding, it is supposed to be that sort of harsh environment. A person could use an enema to pump the area full of some water concoction but it will not make it that sanitary. The area expels waste, a person can easily have a hang up on doing anything in that area based on the whole feces subject whether or not a person has had a recent toilet rendezvous. I am thinking your wife simply lets you do it because you like to do it, essentially a thing for you and not necessarily for her. But the overall hang up I think is a very probable thing for many people based on the location alone.

[rosekitten]

I allow my husband to do it, as well as attempt anal. However, the rules are simple, once he puts his mouth on, or his penis in it, both must be thoroughly cleaned before they're allowed to touch any other part of me. It's one thing that is very valid to consider gross, because there is a vast amount of dangerous bacteria there.

[Little]

I don't like analingus at all. I just don't get anything out of it, and considering I get ample pleasure from other sexual acts, don't feel the need to explore it further.

Not to mention that one errant flick of the tongue would leave me with a nasty vaginal infection. It doesn't even have to be intentional A2V, a saliva trail from one to the other seems enough to upset the balance. Granted, I haven't done this for almost 5 years (since my raucous teenaged days,) but I don't see changing my mind.

I agree 100% with IAS's response - finding the anus "gross" is pretty par for the course. Even with cleaning, your mouth (one that might kiss her or perform oral) has been in contact with a dirty place. Gives me the heebie jeebies thinking about it. Maybe that's how she feels too?

[Needahand]

Thx Little.

[Guest]

Needahand, it is not dirty, is amazing....anything between two people in love and wanting to do is amazing and welcome - this is the way I see it, my wife is beautiful and have an amazing body (at least to me) and her behind is what makes me go bananas, then even the though of it, get me arouse, I love it and she doesn't mind, we do it about once or twice a week, I would mover her over and lick her just to give her more pleasure - works better thought when they are fully arouse and maybe just cum (with a dildo or toy) you turn her around (they are so horny that won't say anuthing) and you go like you mean it - some woman like the alpha male with clear mind of what he wants...maybe works for you in that moment....so, do it when she is very horny but talk to her about it first - at the end of the day, all these things are what makes a relationship special and two people close to each other... intimacy...

[Elanor-Jane]

Needahand, it is not dirty, is amazing....anything between two people in love and wanting to do is amazing and welcome - this is the way I see it, my wife is beautiful and have an amazing body (at least to me) and her behind is what makes me go bananas, then even the though of it, get me arouse, I love it and she doesn't mind, we do it about once or twice a week, I would mover her over and lick her just to give her more pleasure - works better thought when they are fully arouse and maybe just cum (with a dildo or toy) you turn her around (they are so horny that won't say anuthing) and you go like you mean it - some woman like the alpha male with clear mind of what he wants...maybe works for you in that moment....so, do it when she is very horny but talk to her about it first - at the end of the day, all these things are what makes a relationship special and two people close to each other... intimacy...

yeah well for some women getting their butt licked isnt their idea of intimacy lol

i like anal sex but get squimish if my bf goes to lick down there. warning---overshare i like how it feels and i know i am clean (i time our anal sex on my movements and check the inside with my fingers in the shower several hours after ive been and the natural mucus has done its job, i use soap free washes so there is no irritation. (im very regular so there is never anything left over or even smelling bad) but even then the gross factor of his mouth down there never lets me fully enjoy it.

poo! not that its always there, but the thought of it.....that is why some women still struggle with it!

if you have no interest in recieving this, why is that? as far a sex goes, your **** is up for just as much contention as hers lol.

so all men please remember. until you are ok with your butt hole being played with, or more specifically licked dont expect her to be 100% ok with it.

[Guest]

The one thing I read in your thread/post that caused me some concern was that you "insist".

So yes, I believe you are being "insensitive to insist". Why don't you lay off for a while and see if she brings it up to you? If she does, great, if not, then fine too.

Patience and time should answer most of your questions regarding your partner's desires regarding analingus.

[rosekitten]

anything between two people in love and wanting to do is amazing and welcome -

That's the kicker, his wife doesn't want it. Sure, if two people in love are happy and doing things they both want to do, that's great. What is not great is when one insists/forces/demands, and then wonders what's the problem is with their SO.

[Needahand]

I guess I'd make a few comments in response to some of the recent posts:
1) when I say I have no interest in receiving it doesn't mean I wouldn't welcome it but I would never ask or expect.
2) when I say I insist, I don't actually insist...but I ask, etc...you know how it is...sometimes I want to do it and get disappointed if it can't happen...we've been together a long while.

I have tried laying off and waiting for a surprise but trust me...she has yet to sexually surprise me, I won't be holding me breath...