[Elanor-Jane]

Well it sounds like u need to change your attitude. I wouldn't want to have sex with my husband if he expected me to be raunchy and I wasn't. If u married this person and knew the sex was conservative to begin with why should she be expected to change? Anything is possible but she may prefer the way she is. Most women I know that are open relaxed and good at stuff are EXPERIENCED. And with several different partners. If all she has ever known has been basic you can't all of a sudden expect her to act like a hooker! And I say this with no malice. I've worked in that industry. Guys come in for what they don't get at home. As much as it pains me to admit, most clientele are married men. And what did they want? Anal, analingus, dress ups, toys, really long blow jobs and DT.. and stupid positions. Why do men marry women and expect them to change in bed? Why do people marry as virgins? Sex is seen as being secondary in a happy relationship but it effects so much. If u cheat on your wife your not nessesarily going to find someone that will do what u want. Even professionals are limited in what they will do and for who so I think u need to find other ways to have fulfilling sex with your wife. Do some more research and what she likes or brush up on some knowledge for youself and try these things with her. The only chance of her changing is if she is really having fun. I'm sorry but it sounds like she isn't.

[Guest]

I think that if you stop asking or sharing your desires and fantasies with her, is the first step towards being apart. I told my wife that I knew she was conservative and raised by a mother that was herself raised by 5 aunties all of them never got married - once my wife understood the relationship between her mother way to see and think about sex, and how influence her believes about what is right or wrong to do in the bedroom, we moved pass the unfulfilled sex life in our relationship. We have always had sex 3 times a week (because I have high sex drive) but it was always very boring...she always had an orgasms but did not have access to her body (she wouldn't let me). When we achieved financial stability, I turned 40 and realized that wanted to be in my marriage enjoying my wife's sexuality and mine, which I was not doing. Well, after about a year and a half of talking, crying, informing, and looking at what we were the way we were, something wonderful happen to my wife, she relaxed and one day decided to let go and allow herself to enjoy sex.

She never masturbated growing up, she never let me finger her (even after we got marriage) and today the sky is the limit, we do them all.....the other day was one of the most exciting days of my life, was the first time my wife, took some charge during anal, and she would push it in (was incredible) and as I succeed in put it all in, she started to work the vibrator dildo (she never did this before) and she would masturbate as I was in her behind, so we did DP and it was mind blowing since I think she was able to cum (before all that she experiencing 2 other orgasms that I gave her with the Magic Wand, what I am trying to say is that with love, communication and education, all is possible in life, keep fighting the good fight, having all your sex dreams full filled to at a certain level, makes life worth living....

[Guest]

There is a WORLD of difference between "insist" as you originally stated and "ask" as you have stated since.

Asking over and over and over is insisting with a different label on it.

If I woke up in your shoes, and truly cared about my wife, I'd forget about it altogether for a while, before the sex you do have is further impacted.

[Needahand]

Thank you for some really great fresh perspective...it helps!

[LanaBear]

One thing I think you need to remember... Your wife has some hang ups regarding sex, period. So, IMO, licking her bum is NOT the way to try to sexually awaken her, if that is possible. That is like telling a person who doesn't do drugs to just go ahead and do a line. Doesn't exactly make sense.

So, leave this out of the sex arena for the time being. Try to bring her out with something that has less of a kink factor.

[Guest]

One thing I think you need to remember... Your wife has some hang ups regarding sex, period. So, IMO, licking her bum is NOT the way to try to sexually awaken her, if that is possible. That is like telling a person who doesn't do drugs to just go ahead and do a line. Doesn't exactly make sense.

So, leave this out of the sex arena for the time being. Try to bring her out with something that has less of a kink factor.

i like this answer, don't lose hope that someday you'll be able to enjoy your wife and your marriage to the fullest, but keep talking to her about your feelings and educate her about our species (men and woman sexuality), it is not our fault to need sex, and sometime kinky sex to feel close to someone - some women think that if you don't want to do something,you should not do it, or insist, to me that is avoiding a problem that will end up in recetment...but lanabear is right, start little by little and with love and fighting the good fight, you may find what I found in my wife, a real friend who love me and finally embraced my sexual power rather than fight it....at the end of the day, is all to make them happy - imagine a woman that loves sex and is able to experience mind blowing multiple orgasms but is so unlucky that get a men opposite to her - would be the same issue...why the woman has to suffer because she feels alive when thinking of sex?, is not right, thinking that when one wants to experience new things in bed, something is wrong with us, nothing is wrong, people like us are needed in this world, and when both are able to grow together, life can be wonderful - now a days, in our early forties, have sex everysingle day and on weekends we do the mornings also. so sometime we have sex 8 or 9 times a week - how you keep this up?....with both trusting each other, with your wife wanting to have multiple orgasms and being okay with you touching her everywhere....good luck my friend....life can be wonderful, and indeed you feel the richest and more happy men alive when you can count with your wife to take care of you......as you do with her....