[jns]

Probably the biggest thing to do is to relax, except possibly just before you go over the top. Think of things sexy or soothing for all of your senses. For visual use a scene that makes you sexually excited from a movie or pictures that do the same thing. Maybe think of something written that excites you. Then fantasize.

[Want to Be Free]

when I was in my teens it took me years of playing around to finally have an orgasm. the first few years were the tightening-but-not-quite-there feeling that you are describing and for me, I would call them orgasms. but the more experience i got the more i have come to realise that there are different orgasms each time, not only for different people. I know that sometimes it is so intense that I can't even speak and sometimes i forget and speak too loudly! lol. sometimes they are over quickly and sometimes they take ages and last ages so they are less 'explosive'. I think the key is dont give up on trying, but also dont try to hard. what i mean is keep trying different things, toys, erotic fiction (sometimes better than porn because then you get to imagine what u like), stimulation in different areas. for eg, some women can come from breast stimulation, or toe sucking and nothing else...you dont know til you try it or have a partner that tries it! But also I mean relax and don't focus on the end point. do what feels good for as long as it feels good. Also, you mentioned getting tired or over it. you are not alone! I don't feel that comfortable masturbating but when I do, I watch something or read something sexy and spend time immersing myself in that, then only touch myself when I feel the tightening start on its own. somehow the touch is so much more potent and the area is so much more responsive then. maybe try this? Anyway, go for it, don't lose hope and most importantly...Have Fun!

[Sarieayala]

Im 17 as well and i have the SAME ISSUE and i thought i could fix it through sex..... nope didnt work .. same blah m, mindset when this all happens. N clue i read one thing that said you have to learn to orgasm. =/

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Orgasmos

He we go again, the same old mislead women asking the same questions over and over and over again.

Rubbing your vulva (clitoral hood + clitoris) or doing the G-spot thing.

If a man watches porn for his sexual education hes not a very intelligent guy.

Get the guy to do to himself what he does to you.

Foreplay is so important as is what a female really feels inside, if the foreplay is rough or sloppy your just not going to achieve an orgasm, its not easy to achieve regardless of what most people believe.

It took me about many hours of effective foreplay to get to that place that very few I think ever achieve it.

20 minutes foreplay I dont think is enough but that I think depends on the relationship and how you feel about your partner.

And how you perceive what he thinks about you.

Rough foreplay no good.

Sloppy foreplay no good.

I'm very gentle to a womens body, very slow, very long drawn out foreplay over many hours not minutes.

too many guys hone in on your genitals and breasts this I believe is where they go wrong.

G-spot grinding is pointless and stupid, shows that they guy is unlikly to succeed.

Real passion is what women need, and I think that means to be cared for, made to feel special.

A man needs to learn how to be gentle, caring, and to kiss with finesse.

Cuddling and those things that are important to a women.

I would like to show you how I do it but its a long thread to do it and cant be bothered just getting is censored or deleted any way I try to inform women.

[Goosey]

I'm gonna kinda disagree with above

Depends on the woman! I for one could not have hours of foreplay. 20-30 min is enough. And sometimes a little rough is a huge turn on - like he HAS to have me now!

I think the main this is to relax and be comfortable with yourself! And try different things. It took me over a year to orgasm, and I can't on my own - I just don't relax enough by myself. And it took lots of communication and trying!

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Don't obsess about the orgasm. Sometimes its takes years of practice to experience and enjoy it. Also, 70% of women cannot orgasms through vaginal penetration alone. (just the way the clitoris is shaped). So don't think having intercouse will solve that issue. When aroused, the clitoris gets really swollen, but just before orgasms, it retracts and becomes really small. Ask your boyfriend if he notices that. Also, each orgasm is different for each person. Don't buy into the explosive fireworks that movies and books portray. Its different for each person. A really good book to look at is Betty Dodson's Sex For One.

Just because your friend tells you she had great orgasms, doesn't mean its true. What she may be experiencing may be the same thing you are experiencing, but she is interpreting that as explosive orgasms. Like I said, its different for each person.

I don't have explosive orgasms either. I can orgasm for several minutes and then come down slowly. Because I come down slowly and don't have this explosive ending, I can easily go into another orgasm.

You just need to find what works for you and don't go by what others say. As long as you are enjoying it, that's all that matters.

Orgasm is when after hours of foreplay you and your partner are drenching wet, not only in the vagina but also all over your body so much so one could skim the water off your back.

Your partner will be able to hear your heart beating frantically like a tiny drum inside your chest, you'll be breating rapidly, your eyes shiny and dialted.

Your hair wet and stuck together your lips bright red and your face flushed, when after hours of foreplay you'll finally let him enter you ....

At the onset of orgasm he'll feel your vaginal barrel start to constrict involuntarily and spasmodically around his penis which will cause him to ejaculate which is like a thunderbolt shooting up into his brain.

Its at that point you loose consciousness and you feel one in the same, a fusion of your souls, the fusion of your body with his, him inside you as the same the pleasure beyond anything your have ever experienced before and the feeling so profound that its a life changing event.

Your wet bodies locked and tangled into each other as if its a rebirth, the ultimate peacefulness, tranquiltiy, relaxation and a contentment that only orgasm can achieve.

Euphoria, bliss, natural drug like trance and a very strong attachement to your partner like you want to be the father of your children to rear them and be faithful for ever.

Its such a profoundly emotional experience that one almost cries with the experience, its really overwhelming state of bliss.

After, for me, I remember the steam of our bodies as we looked at each others eyes both dialted and the feeling of love and intimacy.

OK so that (above) is not orgasm Goosey ????

[Goosey]

Oh gosh, I'd fall asleep before the foreplay was even half over. Hours of foreplay is too much for me.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

In my life only have only witnessed 5 women orgasm on 5 occasions, of those five only 1 had this amazing orgasm that I have been fortunate to experience.

What was the difference you ask ?

About 5 hours of foreplay, thats what it took me to do it or for us to achieve it together.

We started about 9PM and the sun was coming up the next morning thats what I remember.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Oh gosh, I'd fall asleep before the foreplay was even half over. Hours of foreplay is too much for me.

NO way!!

NO women in my life has ever said stop or im falling asleep. NONE.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

No women says NO to real pleasure.