[nodak]

My wife (married 17 years) and I will be going on vacation in the Bahamas in April. She loves massages...and has only gotten them from local LMT, and only from women.

I think she would really like it if she were to get one from a cute guy (I'm only assuming, as we have never talked about it).

I am going to bring it up/suggest it to her. I'm sure her first reaction will be "full body massage from a guy?--no way" mainly because she is probably thinking that is the answer I am hoping for. I'm thinking---but I don't KNOW, that in the back of her mind, she'd probably be thinking "hmmm....that might not be too bad..."

I guess I'd like her to know that I'm completely fine with it...and that I think she should go with the flow, but I don't want to insult her either.

So...how should i go about suggesting it, and ladies...what would your reaction be if your hubby brought it up, and what would you REALLY be thinking? (would you like it?)

Thanks.

[Little]

Just wanted to throw out there that you may not get many answers at the moment because the forum is still recovering from a crash - many members are holding back and waiting for things to smooth out. Your thread may disappear as things get fixed - this is an unfortunate side-effect and nothing personal. Just a heads-up!

Personally (married mom here,) I probably wouldn't care which gender my massage therapist was, so long as s/he were doing a great job! But many women are more comfortable being nude (or nearly nude) in the company of other women, versus men. You know your wife, though - is she particularly conservative about her dress around men? Is she insecure about her body? Depending on those answers, if she refuses, it might be more about her than about the answer she thinks she's "supposed" to give.

[BabyGirl]

A full body massage by anyone, is a great "Relaxation Gift ".

I guess I'd like her to know that I'm completely fine with it...and that I think she should go with the flow, but I don't want to insult her either.

You can always schedule her a Visit ahead of time

[BabyGirl]

Dang thing cut me off.. lol

Then let her know you scheduled her with one of their Best Masseuses, " Steve ".
This shows her a Guy or Girl makes no difference to you , as long as she enjoys the Massage.

If she seems uncomfortable ( herself ) with a Guy doing it, let her know that she has an Option to chose another Masseuse . This shows again, you just wanted her to enjoy the Massage.
You don't have to Suggest or " Fish " about trying a Male Masseuse She will tell you what she is Comfortable with or not.

Either way, maybe take a Massage Crash Course of your own.. * Wink *

[nodak]

is she particularly conservative about her dress around men? Is she insecure about her body?

I think she is fairly conservative around men---we were h.s sweethearts...so we are the only ones that each of us have really been with. I think that she feels like her friends know her as conservative, and so then that's the way she needs to remain at all times.

I think she has a great body....but she is insecure at times. I'll see an outfit and mention getting it for her...and she'll reply with "that's for skinny people". My wife is not overweight. She's just not rail thin like she thinks that someone should be to wear certain clothing.

Again, I think that in her mind, she would be thinking "I'm not supposed to be enjoying this" as she was getting this massage. Probably as she may think that it may upset me---which it wouldn't. I'd be happy just knowing she was enjoying something a bit beyond what her own conservative self normally would allow herself to do.

I do like the one person's idea of "I got you a massage with 'Steve' because they told me he was the best they have". At this point, she'd be likely thinking it'd be a standard massage---which it would nearly be....but would have just a little extra attention on her buttocks, thighs, etc. I also wouldn't want her to get upset at the masseuse when he began to give her rear and thighs extra attention with massage oil, etc. Just so long as she knew that this guy wasn't going to try to put his fingers "there" and that he would only be coming close to that area as it was part of the massage. I think if she knew that going in...and I just told her "just relax...and enjoy it" she might be okay with it. It's just the bringing it up. "Uh...honey....ummm...yeah...uhhh....I've been thinking....how would you like a massage from a dude? And yeah...this is called a "sensual" massage so it's a little different than you've gotten before...but I think you'll love it"

[Ashlee T.]

I'm a bit confused by this. Is this supposed to be a relaxing enjoying massage for her? Or some sort of sexual fantasy for you? I guess I'm just thinking, if she loves getting massages and you see that she goes for women because she's more comfortable with that, it looks like you'd want to do what you KNOW makes her the most comfortable. I guess I'm just not clear on your intentions here. I see that you're hoping to get her a bit out of her normal comfort zone. And it sounds like you really love her alot. I just can't really give you an adequate answer without knowing a bit about why you're adament about having a man massage her.

[SaharaJim]

I certainly don't "know" but I think the point is being missed here. He wants his wife to have this "full body massage" done by "a cute guy". Who in his "mind's eye" is built like "Fabio" only "younger". When his wife; is "rubbed down" by the fine specimen- he picks up his table and leaves with nodak having a relaxed and undoubtedly "turned on" wife to "deal with"....awww poor guy. Go for it nodak...but you may want her to "know" what's up and that you "planned it that way".

[lizzardb63]

Yeah, she may wonder the reason behind you specifically wanting a cute guy, rather than a woman. What will you tell her? If my fiance said that, I'd answer with "I'm not getting a massage to get pleasure in any sexual way, I am getting a massage so I can clear my head and relax"... KNOWING a cute guy was giving me a massage because my hubby wanted me to wouldn't allow my mind to turn off. If that makes any sense...

[ItsASecret]

If my fiance said that, I'd answer with "I'm not getting a massage to get pleasure in any sexual way, I am getting a massage so I can clear my head and relax"... KNOWING a cute guy was giving me a massage because my hubby wanted me to wouldn't allow my mind to turn off. If that makes any sense...

I agree. If I were in that situation I would see it as a nice gesture of been given a massage to relax, not a sexual pleasure source. I would not look at a massage as a sexual experience and if my bf actually wanted it to be sexual, at least partially, I would actually be a bit PO'd because he knows I would never want something sexual from someone else so him essentially saying "no no no treat it as sexual it will be good" would make me quite upset. If the massage is given for the purpose of relaxation then great encourage that it is relaxing but if it is for sexual means and she does not agree with that idea then I would say stay away from giving one as a gift.

[SaharaJim]

Ouch! think I just got my fingers slapped. I'd listen to them before I would listen to me on this one.)