[I_Am_A_Man]

I have been with my current gf for a few months and we have sex regularly (I'd say about 85% of the times we get together). She is younger, and clearly not as experienced in the bedroom, nor is she as adventurous as I am. I always have to take lead and initiate, etc.

I am a huge believer in foreplay - when time/circumstances permit - and think it's a sin to skip it. I usually go down on her and try and make her orgasm this way before I even penetrate her. I can usually bring her to the point where she is writhing on the bed until she is literally pushing my head away from her and demanding that I penetrate her. Sometimes she even says "stop" and DEMANDS that I penetrate her. It's almost as if she can't take even one more lick or she'll explode. So, When I do penetrate her, we go at it for about 10-15 mins before I cum usually, and she is very loud and always says afterwards how "amazing the sex is." The other night she even said - 2 times - that "she can't even move and [her] mouth is dry." Now I'd like to think that I have been giving her orgasms (as well as all the other women I have slept with) but I always have this strange feeling that maybe they are lying/faking and saying these things to make me feel better about myself. I am confident in the bedroom and I am certainly not undersized and I feel like I know what I'm doing but I have heard those very same encouraging words from several women and I'm wondering if there is a way to tell, for certain without having to ask, if she had an orgasm.

Also, I do like to finger her using the "come here" motion until she grabs my hand and sits up completely while struggling to breathe. I don't know if she is cumming or not, but she definitely is not squirting so I cannot tell.

Truthfully, I just want to be able to please her whenever we have sex so I am not the only one getting pleasure out of it. Sorry for the stream of consciousness writing, but I have found this board to be very helpful on all other matters.

[jns]

Does she roll over and go to sleep after sex or get up and clean the house? I'm sure not everyone is the same, but my experience is that after orgasm both myself and the women I have brought to orgasm have wanted at least a short nap after mind blowing sex.

[shoshannah]

I would say not to be afraid to ask. The only person on earth who knows for sure if you are giving your girlfriend orgasms is your girlfriend. If you are that concerned about making sure she enjoys herself, and you let her know you're asking so that you can do a better job of pleasing her, she will probably be flattered you asked and happy to tell you and to cooperate with your efforts to please her better. :-)

[I_Am_A_Man]

Does she roll over and go to sleep after sex or get up and clean the house? I'm sure not everyone is the same, but my experience is that after orgasm both myself and the women I have brought to orgasm have wanted at least a short nap after mind blowing sex.

yes, she always passes out shortly thereafter which sometimes annoys me because that means round 2 is out of the question. Although, the other night we did have a round 2 and it was awesome.

[I_Am_A_Man]

I would say not to be afraid to ask. The only person on earth who knows for sure if you are giving your girlfriend orgasms is your girlfriend. If you are that concerned about making sure she enjoys herself, and you let her know you're asking so that you can do a better job of pleasing her, she will probably be flattered you asked and happy to tell you and to cooperate with your efforts to please her better. :-)

the reason i dont want to have to ask her is because I will then come off as insecure. Asking once or twice, or every blue moon is fine, but when you ask every time, you seem insecure.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

If she is having a real orgasm her vaginal barrel muscles will involuntarily, rythmically and spasmodically contract. Other more obvious signs are damp face and body and extremely wet vulva and vagina. Rapid heart beat above 200+ beats per minute. One can actually hear the heart pounding away in their chest its so loud. I think also elevated breathing but I can't actually remember at the time.

The intensity of the orgasm is marked by the amount of perspiration. So a women/girl may only get wet but in a powerful orgasm she is dripping wet and I mean dripping wet.

My ex got so wet that I could skim the water off her back.

[DreamP346]

The intensity of the orgasm is marked by the amount of perspiration. So a women/girl may only get wet but in a powerful orgasm she is dripping wet and I mean dripping wet.

Actually, not all women sweat after an orgasm. All women are different and each woman will have a different reaction. The vaginal barrel spasm can be very mild for some women and may not be noticable. Also, only a faction of women can squirt.

Your question should not be did she have an orgasm, it should be did she enjoy. Majority of people enjoy an orgasm and it is the pinacle of sexual pleasure. But remember, such a concept lumps everybody into liking the same thing. Not every person thinks of orgasm as the best part of sex.

The only way to know is to ask. Nothing wrong with it. I ask my husband at each meal if it was good. Doesn't make me look like I have a complex. Shows that I care that he enjoys the food I cook.

[shoshannah]

the reason i dont want to have to ask her is because I will then come off as insecure. Asking once or twice, or every blue moon is fine, but when you ask every time, you seem insecure.

Sorry, we may have misunderstood each other. I thought (or assumed) what you were asking was what signs your girlfriend typically gives when she has an orgasm. I figured that once you learned the signs (by asking her on just one or two occasions, not every time) you would then know on other occasions when she had an orgasm because you would be familiar with her signs. Would you be comfortable doing that?

[shoshannah]

If she is having a real orgasm her vaginal barrel muscles will involuntarily, rythmically and spasmodically contract. Other more obvious signs are damp face and body and extremely wet vulva and vagina. Rapid heart beat above 200+ beats per minute. One can actually hear the heart pounding away in their chest its so loud. I think also elevated breathing but I can't actually remember at the time.

The intensity of the orgasm is marked by the amount of perspiration. So a women/girl may only get wet but in a powerful orgasm she is dripping wet and I mean dripping wet.

My ex got so wet that I could skim the water off her back.

Little_man, I agree with sp . . . all of these signs may be different with different women. For about half my cycle I tend to be very wet throughout sex, not just at orgasm, so wetness isn't a sign. Also, the amount i sweat depends on a lot of things--the temperature in the room, the time of year, how vigorous we've been, etc. also, sometimes my boyfriend feels my vagina contracting and sometimes he doesn't, depending on our position, how much he's moving, how strong my orgasm is, etc.

[SaharaJim]

Men and women in my experience tend to act differently in response to the orgasm. Men "conk out" and are ; at least for a few minutes, totally worthless.;o)
Women, on the other hand; tend to be "energized" by an orgasm, or even several.
As for "sure, unfailable", ways to "know" if your partner has had an orgasm- I don't think there is one. AND, if you are asking her- she may feel "compelled" to tell you whatever she thinks you want to hear. If she says she is "satisfied"; why are you "questioning" her word...and if you are- are you going to be "satisfied" with any answer you receive? Short of having her "hooked-up" to several complicated medical devices (electrical cardiogram etc.) there will not be any "proof". Gentle questions "later" about how you can make things "better" for her will probably get you more "useful" information than demanding a "review" the instant you finish. I am suggesting you might want to "ease up"- if she is not being totally truthful- how do you think she will react to being "caught" at "lying"?
If she is telling the truth- how do you think she will respond to being called a liar?
A no win situation for you.