[NJgirl99]

This is my first time posting on a website like this, but I could really use some advice. I've been with my BF for several years now. We've never really had a problem having sex before, except for one thing: him giving me oral sex. I was always wayyyy too modest and shy for such an intimate act, and I just never seemed comfortable, I guess? Well, we were recently fooling around, and one thing led to another, and I finally asked him to go down on me, seeing as I finally felt ready. So, he starts, but something's not right. I asked him what's wrong, and he said "something doesn't mesh with my tongue" and that he "felt like throwing up". I was utterly embarrassed. I don't think I've ever felt so dirty and crappy about myself before. I felt like there was something wrong with me, as a woman.

Ever since, I've been struggling to connect intimately with him again. Even if we're just sleeping in the same bed, I can't help but flash-back to how I felt that night. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Or am I just over-reacting? I'm really confused and hurt and not sure what to do :/

[jns]

Have you ever had a tongue depressor placed on your tongue and you wanted to throw up? You need to ask him what his comments were about. If he was extending his tongue all of the way out to tongue you in your vagina, the sides of his mouth could have been hitting the areas of the back of the tongue that cause a gag reflex.

Alternately, was he talking about your taste? Has he given a girl oral before and does he like it? There are some guys who don't like the taste and there are others who cannot get enough. I'm of the latter type.

[chezwylde]

Oh no, what a horrible experience for you both. Was it his first time too? I think you both need to sit down and have a honest frank discussion about it. Women do taste different at different times of the month. Until you work out where the problem lies, you won't be able to move forward. Hugs xx

[AntLondon]

I'd agree, it's probably something you want to address otherwise it will always be that elephant in the room (or bed!) with you both. I guess it's hard to know quite what the issue was, so talking is the definite first step - has he done this to a girl before, have you had a guy do this to you before? It might be wise to start with just some light kissing around the area, and keeping everything "on the surface" to start.

Do you ever bath together - (or shower) that's usually a great situation to explore each other a little more with new areas - but just a suggestion. A different position might help, if you where lying down, and he was under the sheets - perhaps think of starting on top, and then moving up so you are straddling his shoulders. Just ideas - one thing is certain though, you need to deal with it openly otherwise you mind won't stop whurlling about it.

[NJgirl99]

Yeah, it was basically the first time for the both of us- he'd never done it before to anyone, and neither had I (which was why I was so nervous about it in the first place). We've tried talking about this, and he says he just can't take the taste. And I know he's sorry and everything, but I'm not quite sure how to move on? Like, he's said he wants to try again because he knows how upset I am, but I wouldn't want him to unless HE wanted to, not just because he thought I wanted him to, you know?

And I'm not sure how to get past that initial rejection. I've given him countless blowjobs where he gets all the way to the back of my mouth hitting my gag reflex and making me want to throw up, but I've kept on giving them, even after talking to him about how it feels, because I like making him feel good that way. I know that I'm willing to make sacrifices, but it seems like he gives up at the first sign of trouble, which makes me feel sort of used? Plus, I don't want to make him so uncomfortable if we were to ever try again, which makes me start thinking that this just might never happen for us :/

Yeah, we've had shower sex before, but never tried him going down on me, so perhaps we could try that. Someone we talked to also suggested we try flavored lube. Has anyone else tried using that before? Any reviews or suggestions?

[Little]

There are some pretty good flavored lubes. I can't speak to how they work on the vulva, but on a penis they don't taste too weird and can improve the experience.

[jns]

Mostly oral should be directed at the clitoris because that is where the sensations that can get a woman to orgasm are best. But there is variation in women, so what works for most may not work for everyone. Some like teasing and sensations around the vagina and some like sensations from around the urethra among other places.

He should initially spend most of his time teasing the clitoris. As long as you have cleaned normally, there should be relatively little taste from teasing it (kissing, sucking, licking, flicking the tongue, etc.) and teasing it through the clitoral hood. Have him try again, but this time limit where he gives you oral to your clitoral region. After he becomes more familiar with that area of you, then he can move on to other places.

[DreamP346]

Take a shower. Wash with water. That is the best. You may use Dove soap but definitely avoid the harsher soaps like Dial and any body wash. Water is still the best.

You can try flavored lubes and powders specially made for that area. I once bought chocolate flavored powders at one of those sex toy parties. Test them out with your BF by rubbing on your hand and licking. It can be a fun play. You can also use a dental dam or even plastic wraps (the type you wrap food with). You also smell different depending on the time of the month. When you are ovulating is the time most men go crazy for you. Of course, that is a generalization that doesn't apply to everybody. Also, try having him go down on you once you both are extremely excited. When a person is sexually excited, they tend to find stuff that usually sounds umimaginable to be fun.

[Guest]

Buy him a book... She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D

Sorry about the comment to you from him...totally inappropriate IMO.

From this male, lover of giving oral's perspective...it don't get much better than that!!

[chezwylde]

I agree water is best. My husband doesn't like it when I use those intimate body washes. Experimenting with flavoured lubes might be fun though. xx