cumming in her... concerns and pleasure

[redthunder2001]

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My gf and I recently got engaged and the deal was I would be allowed to start cumming in her once that happened. I was fine with wearing a condom to finish or pulling out before because we could not take a chance of getting pregnant (yes I know there's still a chance but with her pill its minimal enough that, meh) because we were both in high school when we started dating and then we were in college. Now that were out and living together, we've done it a few times (cumming inside her that is, my reaction: mind. blown.) but I could tell she wasn't super excited about it, after the fact. We don't want kids right now and for that reason we have decided that to minimize the chances of getting pregnant we would use rythm while she's on the pill and she wanted to use some spermacide. So basically that limits my rediculous pleasure to maybe about 7-10 days a month, which is fine with me and I think a fair compromise given the circumstances. In reality it has been 1 or 2 nights a month.

For the last 8 years I haven't complained or nagged about pulling out and getting basically the same amount of feeling as jerking off or snapping on a condom and essentially screwing/finishing in a sensationless plastic bag. After 8 years yes both kill the intimacy and mood for me, while I can't help but feel like she still gets her full sensation and pleasure. The only reason we lost the condom in the first place is that I can't keep it up with the only sensation I get being a greasy plastic bag. Maybe I'm being a greedy, unreasonable prick but I'm getting a little tired of it. We discussed it at length and she says she's not hot on it 1. Because of the risk and 2. Because she feels like she can feel it running out and down her leg the whole next day. I think the risk is as minimal as its gonna get. She says she feels like she can feel it, and she's afraid of, it running down her leg the whole next day that somebody might see it or smell it. She can be a little paranoid in that way, like what would somebody think if they found out.

Sorry if this is getting long, I've never been accused of being short winded. Also I guess I'm venting a little. So my questions are
If tl;dr:
1. What do you do to clean up after?
2. Do any of you really have it running down your leg the next day, after sitting upright to let it run out and cleanup immediately after?
3. Am I being an unreasonable jackass?

Also I know this is probably a stupid question, and though I'm not that naive, ive always kinda wondered: does the depth of my ejaculation have any bearing on odds of becoming pregnant? I mean obviously the deeper the better the odds, but does it really make that much of a difference? I guess what I'm asking is if were doing it anyway should I just go for the gold, bury myself to the hilt, and let my eyes roll?


Thanks,
Redthunder

[lizzardb63]

Sorry if this is getting long, I've never been accused of being short winded. Also I guess I'm venting a little. So my questions are
If tl;dr:
1. What do you do to clean up after?
2. Do any of you really have it running down your leg the next day, after sitting upright to let it run out and cleanup immediately after?
3. Am I being an unreasonable jackass?

Also I know this is probably a stupid question, and though I'm not that naive, ive always kinda wondered: does the depth of my ejaculation have any bearing on odds of becoming pregnant? I mean obviously the deeper the better the odds, but does it really make that much of a difference? I guess what I'm asking is if were doing it anyway should I just go for the gold, bury myself to the hilt, and let my eyes roll?


Thanks,
Redthunder

1. I go to the bathroom after sex. Most of it comes out at that time and I wipe (obviously)...or I take a shower. You can use a towel to wipe off or shower.
2. Not usually... if you use the bathroom after sex most of it comes out, there may be a little in her panties during the day, but it wouldn't be running down her leg...I would find that odd if it did.
3. You're not being unreasonable. You were being considerate by using condoms up until she was comfortable with it.
4. It doesn't matter how deep you go, if there is semen in her vagina it can get her pregnant, but if she is on the pill (and takes it correctly) and you use spermacide along with the rhythm method, you have a slim to no chance of getting pregnant.

[notlikethenormal]

I can see your girlfriends point of view... shes probably so worried about getting pregnant she can't enjoy the intimacy you crave so much. Which is a very very small possiblity with all the precautious you are taking.

Personally I love it when my boyfriend cums inside me, its just as enjoyable for me as it is for him. I was on the pill when we met and after seeing a doctor to insure we were both clean we never used condoms. I can completely see how just putting it on would kill the mood. And just so you know she isn't having the best of pleasure with the condom either... she can't feel the subtle yet extremely exciting pulsing.

As for cleaning up... yes its a pain. Its healthy for a woman to urinate after sex anyway so I get up and try to clean up as much as possible without just taking a shower. The next day I normally wear a lightdays pad. Again, and this is personal preference, I actually enjoy feeling wet the next day. Reminds me of the night before or the times to come And no... it's not running down your leg.

Are you being a donkey?? Meh... not in my eyes but I can see how a young woman afraid to have kids would think you don't care about something that is worrying her so much she isn't showing signs of pleasure during the act.

Depth makes absolutely no difference... so swing for the fences!


You may already do this but I just thought I'd add... maybe getting her off before you have intercourse will at least loosen her up so she can enjoy the rest of it without worrying.

[Laurie F]

Hi After 8 years i think its about time she "compromises" a bit better if im honest.
To answer your points...
1) Cleaning up is totally up to you. Keep tissues or towel close to hand or even lay a towel out beneath you so bedsheets etc arent ruined
2) I have never had it running down my leg the next day, if it comes out, it will be out straight away or stay in and wiggle its way further inside. If she washes herself daily (which hopefully she does) this shouldnt be an issue.
3) I dont think your being an unreasonable jackass i think that you have given plenty and if she promised certain things she should stick to them. HOWEVER we women tend to change our minds and say things in the heat of the moment when we feel confident enough and then overthink and decide that we dont actually want what we did.

The depth of ejaculation doesnt really count, if they want to get in there they will... So yes perhaps you should just "go for the gold, bury yourself to the hilt and let your eyes roll" although communication is key. TALK TO HER!!!

x

[DSemcho]

Okay it does run down your leg right after sex itself (but maybe that's just me because of how wet I get?). I always notice the next day that I'm super slippery down there after my DH has cummed inside of me and that same night when I sit up I can feel it come out a little. Generally as long as she tracks her ovulation and ya'll safe guard 5 days before it, and 3 - 4 days after it your fine. You want sex 8 - 10 times a month? HAH! I'm married and I'm lucky if I get it 4 times a month, and I get the mind blown effect when I get it more than once a week. As for the not wanting kids thing, if ya'll don't want them now then don't take any unnecessary risks like cumming inside of her. To clean up afterward? I usually get up and get a wash cloth and wipe my area (only because I don't mind getting pregnant)... But if I were not wanting to get pregnant, I would use the shower head and clean myself like I do when in the shower..

[Hugo-B]

Once you start cumming inside a girl it can be hard to revert back to pulling out. I'd only ever cum inside 2 girls before I met my GF and I cum in her nearly every time, she actually asks me to pull out and cum in her mouth sometimes and giggles when I can't!. By the age of 31 I'd probably cum inside those two girls about a total of 20 times. All the other times I used to pull out - no BC pill, the girls couldn't tolerate it, stupid I know - so I am actually wondering if I'm a jaffa after seven and a half years of the withdrawal method and not even a scare! Anyway, if she's scared of getting pregnant you can't blame her for be concerned about you cumming in her. If I interpreted your post correctly that is her min issue, apart from the 'mess', well how about meeting half way where you can BOTH enjoy sex without a condom: girls do notice the difference too BTW, and you just pulling out and cumming over her boobs or tummy, the 'mess' is much easier to clean up and combined with BC it's very unlikely she'll get pregnant. I find when girls don't want to do something on bed looking for alternatives is more effective, and leaving them with the choice of changing their minds of their own accord.

[lizzardb63]

What I'm curious about is why did she say you could after there was a ring on her finger...and then STILL refuse? Was that her way of "tricking" you into proposing? I personally think she's being selfish. If she didn't mean it, she shouldn't have said it.

[redthunder2001]

What I'm curious about is why did she say you could after there was a ring on her finger...and then STILL refuse? Was that her way of "tricking" you into proposing? I personally think she's being selfish. If she didn't mean it, she shouldn't have said it.

No, i dont really think she was trying to trick me. Shes not the kind of person to do that. I think its probably something more along the lines of what Laurie F said "we women tend to change our minds and say things in the heat of the moment when we feel confident enough and then overthink and decide that we dont actually want what we did."

[notlikethenormal]

Do you think she understands it means more to you than just the physical pleasure?? Its about the intimacy you are wanting between the two of you?

[Hugo-B]

Do you think she understands it means more to you than just the physical pleasure?? Its about the intimacy you are wanting between the two of you?

I do see a valid point here. It's like I mentioned somewhere recently, if a girl doesn't want to swallow my cum that's fine, but I'd rather not cum in her mouth than see her spit it out in disgust. It's like a package deal to me, I either cum in her mouth and she swallows or I just cum elsewhere. A women wouldn't like it if a man went down on her and then as soon as she climaxed he ran to the sink and started rinsing his mouth out. If she's attached a 'condition' on you cumming in her, you've accepted it and she's now reneged then that sounds slightly unfair.