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  • Hugo-B
    Veteran Member
    • Jun 2012
    • 957

    Originally posted by redthunder2001
    If ive told her once ive told her a hundred times i wish i would have waited for her and this is something ive never done with anybody else so i guess its kinda like my first time there if that makes any sense. I mean yes as far as the sex it feels amazing, but to me its more the intimacy and knowing that its something we are sharing together that makes it so amazing. and she know i feel that way.
    A good way for you to prove this to her is for you to try and share as many 'first time' sexual experiences together, so she knows that besides your virginity (I don't know one guy who looks back with fond memories on his first sexual experience. Let her know if you do something together you've not done it before. I like to have something with each girl I'm in a long term relationship with. My current GF (3rd LTR) is the only girl I've ever cum inside regularly for example. Let your GF know when you try new things that they're new FOR YOU too, and that you want to share that with her.
    "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" Julius Caesar

    Comment

    • redthunder2001
      Member
      • Aug 2012
      • 19

      Yea. I mean she know about this its like it just almost doesnt seem to matter though. She still gets so hung up on all the what ifs. I mean i dont exactly live my life willie-nillie, but its like sometimes you need to throw caution to the wind a little. Stop overanalyzing everything so much and you might find something you like.

      Comment

      • shoshannah
        Veteran Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 228

        I was on the pill when my boyfriend and I first started dating, so our condom use has been extremely limited. On the few occasions we've had to use them it's been very frustrating for both of us. When he comes inside me, which is what we normally do, it feels fantastic for him physically, but it is also emotionally fantastic for both of us--a very loving and bonding experience. and condomless sex feels better for me too, although not to the same degree that it does for him. So maybe you can emphasize to your fiance the bonding experience that she can share in by letting you come inside?

        Also, her getting used to you ejaculating inside her may take some time, just as sex itself may have taken some getting used to. The drippiness doesn't necessarily need to be bad if she wipes and leans up right afterwards, and what drippiness is left is just part of being in a relationship. I find it a bit of a hassle sometimes, but not enough to make me stop letting my boyfriend climax inside me. Plus like sp346 said above, the wet feeling can be an intimate thing, reminding me of being with my boyfriend recently and making me anticipate being with him again soon.

        But the fear of pregnancy can be a big thing. It's basic biology. The thing that makes you want to have intercourse without a condom and ejaculate in her vagina is the drive to impregnate her. Nature made it feel good for a reason. But nature also made her want to do her best to guarantee that any man she lets do that will be with her for the pregnancy and childraising. And no matter how devoted you are to each other, the cold legal and biological fact is that until you say "I do," if she gets pregnant, you can walk away from it and she can't. This is something my boyfriend and I have wrestled with in the past. Ultimately I have had to make a leap of faith, but I can't blame a girl if she has some trouble with it. it doesn't mean that she doesn't love or trust you--it just means that her genes are telling her to make sure her mate is in it with her. So just love her and reassure her and be there for her, and eventually, with luck, she'll be more accepting of the idea.

        I hope this helps.

        Comment

        • redthunder2001
          Member
          • Aug 2012
          • 19

          Originally posted by shoshannah
          But the fear of pregnancy can be a big thing. It's basic biology. The thing that makes you want to have intercourse without a condom and ejaculate in her vagina is the drive to impregnate her. Nature made it feel good for a reason. But nature also made her want to do her best to guarantee that any man she lets do that will be with her for the pregnancy and childraising. And no matter how devoted you are to each other, the cold legal and biological fact is that until you say "I do," if she gets pregnant, you can walk away from it and she can't. This is something my boyfriend and I have wrestled with in the past. Ultimately I have had to make a leap of faith, but I can't blame a girl if she has some trouble with it. it doesn't mean that she doesn't love or trust you--it just means that her genes are telling her to make sure her mate is in it with her. So just love her and reassure her and be there for her, and eventually, with luck, she'll be more accepting of the idea.

          I hope this helps.

          Thank you that actually helps a lot shosh. I never really thought about it that way. I believe that in a lot of ways nomatter how much we as individual people, the human race in general, or a society evolve or change over time, for the most part we will always be in some ways subject to our most primal instincts. We have the utmost trust and respect in our relatoinship and i know she trusts me completely and knows that I would NEVER leave her if there was an accident, whether we were ready or not. Thats life sometimes, **** happens, you deal with it. I know she feels protected and secure with me, knowing that I will always provide for her and accommodate her, which is why it was a little frustrating for me in the first place. I guess I need to work on reassuring her a little that WE will be ok no matter what happens.

          Comment

          • shoshannah
            Veteran Member
            • Nov 2010
            • 228

            Redthunder,

            Glad I could help. :-) In our case we talked it over before we started having sex, and discussed what we would do if an accident happened. If I do get pregnant, the plan is for us to go ahead and get married. (We're not engaged yet but things seem to be moving in that direction.) Of course, there has to be trust on both sides. I have to trust that he really will marry me, and he has to trust that I won't try to trap him into marriage by stopping the pill without telling him. People can really play head games with each other. But we love each other, and being in love means trusting the other person. So a good honest talk with your fiancee might help. It might take several. Women spend a lot of time putting up with guys who just want sex, and so even when we do find the right guy it sometimes takes us a while to deprogram ourselves. :-)

            Comment

            • redthunder2001
              Member
              • Aug 2012
              • 19

              yea weve talked about it a few times and we trust eachother completely, but i guess weve never really actually sat down and made a plan. I just always figured if it happened it was given that we would get married and I know she feels the same way as weve mentioned it to eachother while discussing it. I guess i just feel at this point that it didnt really make a difference as we are in the process of planning the wedding now anyway, but yea it might help to sit down and make sure were both on the same page and agree completely. Just out of curiosity shosh how old are you if you dont mind me asking?
              Last edited by redthunder2001; 08-11-2012, 05:52 PM.

              Comment

              • shoshannah
                Veteran Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 228

                Redthunder, I'm 22 and my boyfriend is pushing 23.

                Comment

                • redthunder2001
                  Member
                  • Aug 2012
                  • 19

                  Originally posted by shoshannah
                  Redthunder, I'm 22 and my boyfriend is pushing 23.
                  You are wise beyond your years. Thank you and thanks to everyone who responded

                  Comment

                  • shoshannah
                    Veteran Member
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 228

                    Originally posted by redthunder2001
                    You are wise beyond your years. Thank you and thanks to everyone who responded
                    Thank you. I have learned a lot in the past couple of years. :-)

                    Comment

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