[Onlyme21]

Hi everyone
I recently got married to my high school sweetheart we've been together for four years. We're both 21. Throughout the course of our relationship we decided to stay virgins until we tied the knot. However, we're still virgins after three months of marriage. The problem isn't him it's me. His penis always has a boner and and everything is normal. I usually give him blowjobs, handjobs, and we dry hump so he can orgasm. I also get orgasms through the rubbing of my clitoris. But we tried having sex so many times and all the attempts failed it hurts too badly to the point where I end up in tears.

Ive never masturbated before or inserted a finger in my vagina. So I have no idea where my vaginal hole is to even begin putting a finger in. This is where religion does not come in handy LOL... So please help me any advice on what I should do

I'm sorry if I put vulgar detail in there..


Thank you for taking the time to read this

[Stillness]

Hey, Onlyme21. Welcome.

Are you familiar with the hymen? Many virgins have one blocking full entrance into the vagina. It can hurt to break it and bleed after it's broken. It's normal. Afterwards sex typically become more pleasant. I don't know if that's your problem or not. Is he bumping into something? Is he even getting into the right spot? Where is the pain? Does your religion teach that sex is dirty?

If you're married that means you don't have to be shy because you've both accepted each other for life. You and your sweetheart should both check each other out visually. Good lighting and a mirror will help you see your equipment. I've checked my wife out plenty and have helped her check out herself. Sometimes just seeing how things look can help you navigate. Your issue may be something as simple as making sure your lips are pulled away from your vagina so he can enter it. It's good that you're looking for help because it's pretty important that you all are able to consummate.

Congratulations on your marriage.

[DreamP346]

Welcome to the forum.

Try touching yourself. You need to understand your body and learn the basic anatomy. Its your body, so don't be shy. I know it can be hard because we women are often taught that the vagina is dirty. Be knowledgable about your body. Read some anatomy books. Planned parenthood website has some good information that would also help.

Its great that you are doing other sexual stuff. Keeping doing those. Try fingering either yourself or have your husband do it. Try one finger, when that gets comfortable, add another. See if you can get 3 fingers in there. Make sure that you are sufficiently aroused and wet. You can also use some lube. A good time to try is right after an orgasms. That is when all your muscles are relaxed.

If you feel comfortable, can you tell us a little bit more about the pain. Is your husband able to get his penis inside or does it get too painful to even get there? Does other type of touching around the vulva cause pain? Are you comfortable using a tampon?

[jns]

If you look up vagina in Wikipedia, you will see a picture of a human vagina on the right side of the page near the top. If you click on the picture it will be displayed larger. As you will see, the vaginal opening is below the clitoris and below the urethral opening (where urine comes out). Even if you don't have a mirror, you should be able to explore with your fingers and find the right places.

When having sex the first times, your vaginal opening is most likely going to be quite small. That does not mean it cannot stretch to accommodate a penis, it may just be uncomfortable the first few times. It might be advisable to use store bought sex lubricant so you can make sure you don't run out of lubrication. You can even use it while exploring with your fingers.

The biggest thing is that the guy may not know which way the vaginal canal slants in comparison to the angle of his penis. Penises can slant at a lot of different angles and some are straight while others curve or bend. Usually it is best for the woman to guide the man in the first few times. If you are trying in the missionary position, maybe it would be good to try in a spooning position or doggy style. He may be able to find your vaginal opening easier in one of those positions.

If he is adventurous, he can get his head down there and study your lovely lady parts, using lubricated fingers.