[DreamP346]

Google "weirdest Russian crime story of the year Moscow Times 2009" and you'll find an account of a would be robber overpowered and raped. Also, in Zimbabwe gangs of women have apparently raped many men. Google "3 women in Zimbabwe charged in series of sex attacks on men" and there's a CNN article from a little under a year ago.

I don't know how reliable these accounts are, but women can and have raped men. It probably typically involves restraint and/or drugging as DSemcho pointed out and as it does in the cases above.

Also I found some studies:

"Women's Sexual Aggression Against Men: Prevalence and Predictors"

&

"Men's Reports of Nonconsensual Sexual Interactions with Women: Prevalence and Impact"

I couldn't fully access them, but the abstracts alone have some interesting information. IAS or sp346 may have better access or input. The latter abstract had this curious statement: "Ratings of affective impact revealed that men rated their nonconsensual experiences as moderately upsetting." "Moderately upsetting"??? To be fair, some cases were just kissing/petting, but one of the studies had 30.1% prevalance of "completed" nonconsensual interaction.

I think this stuff is hugely underreported and unexplored, because it's not "manly" to be a victim.

Both the studies you found are in Germany and they had an inclusive definition of sexual assault including kissing. I couldn't find any studies in the US.

I remember seeing a news report a while back about a legal case in the US of a man being raped by a woman but the case fell through either due to technicality or something like that. Since the new definition of rape by the FBI, I don't really believe anybody has been successfully protecuted.

[DreamP346]

Consent cannot be retracted after can it?

Consent can be retracted once given but before the act. Say a person is getting ready for sex. Both parties are willing. But the other party declines to use a condom. Consent can be withdrawn, but this is one of these instances where even though legally and morally it is rape, it will most likely not be recognized by society and usually will not be prosecuted by the law.

[DreamP346]

1) A man is asleep, and either has an erection or the woman induces one and proceeds to have sexual intercourse with him, without consent. This would technically, according to the definition above, be rape since there is an absence of consent.
HOWEVER, if a couple agree that they can have sex with each other whilst one is asleep this of course would not be rape, it would obviously be very difficult to prove or disprove in Court though. A woman could conceive doing this and the man would then be responsible for at least financially supporting the child if he wanted nothing else to do with it or the mother.

2) A woman threatens a man with some kind of consequence if he doesn't have sex with her, this could even be her saying she'll tell the police he tried to rape her if he doesn't have sex with her. This would of course result in the man 'submitting' - again, there is an absence of consent without the direct use of physical force, or even the threat of violence.

I wanted to point out that men can have involuntary erections. Having an erection does not constitute consent. Just because the body wants sex, doesn't mean a person will engage in sex. Sometimes fear can induce an erection.

[lizzardb63]

My fiance claims to have been raped. He said he was pretty drunk and a girl who he knew through a friend offered to give him a ride home after the bars. She ended up driving to her apartment and said he should come in for a drink and wouldn't take no for an answer and to get her to stop begging he said yes and went in for a drink, but told her he wanted to leave right after. Once in her apartment she locked the door and started to rip off his shirt (he was wearing a button up shirt because it was after a christmas party) and he tried pushing her off. He said he wanted to punch her but because she was a woman was fearful of getting charges pressed against him. (How many cases do people believe of a man being raped by a woman). He then said that she pushed him down on the couch and started pulling his hair yelling at him to get hard and he said it was very painful. I've asked him several times why he didn't just push her off and run out, but he said it was because he was very drunk and two because he didn't want to get charges pressed against him for laying a hand on a woman. He wanted to get it over with so he said he thought about someone else to get hard and faked it until she got off him. He then grabbed his clothes once she was "satisfied" and walked to a gas station and used a payphone to call a friend to pick him up.

Many people I'm sure won't believe this story, but I do. I've met this girl and he's told me the story several times again and again and it's the same every time. He didn't tell anyone other than the friend that picked him up and me because well...he's a guy and couldn't stop her...it's embarassing. SO yes, it does happen.

[Hugo-B]

Consent can be retracted once given but before the act. Say a person is getting ready for sex. Both parties are willing. But the other party declines to use a condom. Consent can be withdrawn, but this is one of these instances where even though legally and morally it is rape, it will most likely not be recognized by society and usually will not be prosecuted by the law.

Sorry, when I said 'after' I meant like the next morning, someone can't just change their mind and say, 'oh, I was so drunk last night when I consented that It doesn't count'.

In the UK consent DURING sex can be withdrawn at any time, say halfway through if the girl says 'stop' and the man carries on from that moment on it is rape, though would be difficult to prove.

[DreamP346]

Sorry, when I said 'after' I meant like the next morning, someone can't just change their mind and say, 'oh, I was so drunk last night when I consented that It doesn't count'.

Legally, you can't give consent when intoxicated, but it is one of those situations that never gets prosecuted. Legally, if both parties are drunk - women is passed out and man it high - it would be rape and the man could be prosecuted even though both were intoxciated and unable to fully consent. Being drunk doesn't give you a pass on your actions. But it rarely gets reported and doesn't get prosecuted.

[Hugo-B]

My fiance claims to have been raped. He said he was pretty drunk and a girl who he knew through a friend offered to give him a ride home after the bars. She ended up driving to her apartment and said he should come in for a drink and wouldn't take no for an answer and to get her to stop begging he said yes and went in for a drink, but told her he wanted to leave right after. Once in her apartment she locked the door and started to rip off his shirt (he was wearing a button up shirt because it was after a christmas party) and he tried pushing her off. He said he wanted to punch her but because she was a woman was fearful of getting charges pressed against him. (How many cases do people believe of a man being raped by a woman). He then said that she pushed him down on the couch and started pulling his hair yelling at him to get hard and he said it was very painful. I've asked him several times why he didn't just push her off and run out, but he said it was because he was very drunk and two because he didn't want to get charges pressed against him for laying a hand on a woman. He wanted to get it over with so he said he thought about someone else to get hard and faked it until she got off him. He then grabbed his clothes once she was "satisfied" and walked to a gas station and used a payphone to call a friend to pick him up.

Many people I'm sure won't believe this story, but I do. I've met this girl and he's told me the story several times again and again and it's the same every time. He didn't tell anyone other than the friend that picked him up and me because well...he's a guy and couldn't stop her...it's embarassing. SO yes, it does happen.

If I were in your BF's situation I too would have been most worried about any legal consequences that may have arisen if I had resisted her with force, a woman that aggressive and unstable could quite easily go on 'the turn', call the police and say it was me trying to rape her - and who are they going to believe? The biggest problem the police and courts have with rape cases is that it's often a matter of 'your word against mine'.

The authorities have estimated that nearly all make rapes go unreported. I don't think the police would take any man seriously who claims to be raped by a woman.

[Little]

The authorities have estimated that nearly all make rapes go unreported. I don't think the police would take any man seriously who claims to be raped by a woman.

The police don't always take rape seriously, even when it's the "stranger rape" trope you described in the first post - and attempts at prosecution are prettymuch futile unless the rape was an example of stranger rape. Considering the treatment of "traditional" female survivors by the legal system, I imagine that a man would have zero reason to report a rape.

[lizzardb63]

He didn't say anything because he was embarassed. It makes me irrate and it hurts me. What kind of person does that?

[Hugo-B]

Legally, you can't give consent when intoxicated, but it is one of those situations that never gets prosecuted. Legally, if both parties are drunk - women is passed out and man it high - it would be rape and the man could be prosecuted even though both were intoxciated and unable to fully consent. Being drunk doesn't give you a pass on your actions. But it rarely gets reported and doesn't get prosecuted.

If a man or woman is too drunk to consent or dissent then it is considered rape, and I agree it should be. Too intoxicated to consent or dissent is not being intoxicated to the point where judgment is impaired and consent is given when it may not have otherwise been. When do you become intoxicated, when your over the legal limit to drive? This means any women who's ever had drunken sex was technically raped by the man, surely that can't be right?

But, if two people are both intoxicated then does that mean they're raping each other? Being drunk doesn't and shouldn't give you a pass on your actions but it also shouldn't absolve you of bad decisions and irresponsible alcohol consumption - and this goes for men and women: using my hypothetical sambuca bar shot drinking challenge if me and a woman voluntarily imbibe alcohol all evening then go to bed together drunk and consenting AT THE TIME then wake up in the morning and both say to each other 'WTF are you?' Then technically we've raped each other? More accurately we've both acted irresponsibly and are need to earn to take responsibility for out own actions.

I'm not all about taking advantage of drunken girls, but what makes me very uncomfortable is the fact that a soon as intoxication becomes a contributing factor the woman seems to be automatically absolved of responsibility leaving the man accountable. Flipping the script does this mean if a drunk man in a bar takes a sober waitress home with him at the end of the night she's raped him?

I know that men can generally tolerate a lot more alcohol than women and I would NEVER take advantage of a drunk and vulnerable girl, but have you ever seen programs like 'boozed up Britain'? Women, not all, but many, are going out and drinking more and behaving just as badly if not worse than a lot of men are. I think men and women need to take more responsibility for their own actions.