[john246]

My gf is 21, we've been dating for just under a year now.

In the beginning of the relationship, and for like the 1st 4-6 months, my gf has had an extremely high sex drive and she wanted sex often.. She would iniate sex with me frequently, and she would constantly tell me how much she wants me.. she'd even tell me she's wet for me when im not with her, and she'd tell me she wants me and can't wait to see me.

Then after the 6 month mark, or maybe even before, my gf's sex interest started to taper off, and i was iniating sex more than her.. My gf hasn't been working and was only a student for the first 8 months of our relationship. the past 3+ months she's been working, and working alot (everyday between 2 jobs) and she just has no sex interest. I ALWAYS have to iniate sex, and when we do have sex, it seems like she is just laying there and having sex for my benefit, like she's doing me the favor.

IDK if maybe its because she's been stressed out from work or tired from working so much, but our sex life just lost its feel. I still enjoy the sex with her very much, but its frustrating going from being wanted sexually often, to always having to iniate sex with someone who doesnt seem as into it.

We HAVENT been fighting, my gf is still very affectionate and loving with me, and there hasn't been any other guys that she's been talking to. So I just dont get it.

Im not concerned so much about her sex interest not being so high, im more concerned about my gf going from an extremely horny girl, to just a boring not interested in sex and not sexual at all anymore girl. Like she went from 1 extreme to the other.

My gf used to dress up in sexy lingerie and surprise me, now I can't even picture her doing that. Thats how much the sex dropped off. Yesterday my gf actually told me she wants to have sex when she sees me. then when she saw me, she said she wanted to have sex later. Then when later came, and we were making out, I started to touch her down there, and her reaction was "my chest hurts for some reason" and then that was it, i stopped touching her and we stopped making out. Months ago, me touching her there was automatic that she starts touching me and jumps on me and we have great sex.

The loves is there, but the sex interest from her went from horniest girl ever to non sexual virginesque.

What can be the possible reasons? Can stress and/or being tired from working alot make her lose her libido significantly? maybe the sex has become routine for her?

I did ask her about this, and she just doesnt seem to know what im talking about. she says the sex is great and she loves it and hasn't lost interest at all, which is definately not true. Also when we used to have sex, she used to be very wet.. now when we have sex, she is dry and i gotta wait a minute or 2 for her to get wet.

[jns]

The stress of working two jobs can kill sex interest.

What do you do that is romantic for her?

One thing I didn't read in your post is about how you brought her to orgasm before intercourse. Do you do that, or do you just wait until she gets excited on her own?

If she is not getting wet enough or her wetness is not lubricating enough, use store bought lubricant.

[john246]

The stress of working two jobs can kill sex interest.

What do you do that is romantic for her?

One thing I didn't read in your post is about how you brought her to orgasm before intercourse. Do you do that, or do you just wait until she gets excited on her own?

If she is not getting wet enough or her wetness is not lubricating enough, use store bought lubricant.

I do the same things ive been doing since day 1.. im very affectionate with her, and i foreplay plenty before sex. Im doing the same exact things ive always done, and my gf ALWAYS wanted sex and was always very wet as soon as i stuck it in, that i just slid right in. Now she's just not into sex, and i have to iniate sex and pretty much talk her into it sometimes and when i stick it in its dry and i gotta wait a minute for her to get wet.

Now when i try to iniate sex, sometimes her reaction will be "im tired, i have a headache, we can do it in alittle while" back then there were no excuses, we just did it, and most of the time it was her that wanted it.

I've always gotten her to climax, even now still.. she climaxes much faster than she used to.

I've worked the whole relationship, often times double shifts, and ive NEVER lost interest in sex, even on days when i was extremely tired. My sex drive has always been the same from day 1.

My gf, idk, ever since she started working, all she does is complain about work and is always complaining about this and that.. I want to tell her, leave work at work, and lets enjoy OUR time together, and make it an escape from work.. dont take your work home. Ive wanted to tell her, and ive told her nicely sometimes "i know work is stressful, but you've been working hard and doing a good job.. forget about work for now and lets enjoy our time together and take a vacation from all our stresses".

My life/job is much more stressful than hers.. when im with her i forget all my stresses, but she doesnt seem to do this anymore when she's with me.

Alot of times people will say that a sudden lack in sex interest indicates serious problems in the relationship such as a girl losing interest in me or the relationship, but she's still been very loving and affectionate and talking about a future with me.. just her sex interest is at the point where im thinking to myself- am i even dating the same girl i dated months ago? Is this her unhorny unsexual twin sister that switched places with her?

My gf would always touch me down there all the time.. even at thanksgiving dinner after dinner when we snuck away from family for alittle, she was touching me there and telling e she wanted to have sex after we got back from being with family. Like sex was ALWAYS on her mind. Now my gf never touches me there, and just isnt interested in sex at all. She became a big prude over night.

[oxy-moron]

I did ask her about this, and she just doesnt seem to know what im talking about. she says the sex is great and she loves it and hasn't lost interest at all, which is definately not true. Also when we used to have sex, she used to be very wet.. now when we have sex, she is dry and i gotta wait a minute or 2 for her to get wet.

During the early phase ( 6 months) of a relationship there are love hormones at play - they will make men into better communicators and women more interested in sex. After six months has past you will probably lessen the amount of stimulating interaction and attention and she will lose the enhanced sexual interest for you. You will have to add more effort into getting her in the mood. Add more romance, massage and longer foreplay. You will probaly have to do this forever. What you are seeing now is her background level of sexual interest. This is how she normally is and this is probably why she cant see your point of view.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'd like to say that a relationship is not built on sex.

Off course that's an important aspect but sometimes, after all that lust, sex, sex, sex, the real need for "intimacy" creeps in. It ensures that it's know that the love is still there.

I appreciate men want sex, sex, and more sex. But, if that is all it feels to a woman? She stops giving it.

Ponder on that for a minute. Words are meaningless, action speaks louder than words.

To "want" to do something special for someone usually means you feel special.

At the beginning, naturally you do and you are in lust.

When was the last time you made her feel special, beautiful, loved for no reason, and certainly not to gain sex?

I'm giving you suggestions not putting you down by the way.

[DreamP346]

Stress can do that. why did she go from being a student to working 2 jobs. I am guessing there are some issue with that. combine the fact that things do slow down after the initial lusty phase. People become comfortable and stop trying. I see it with men all the time. Since they know sex is going to happen, they just don't try any more. At the beginning of a relationship, there would be half an hour of intense making out. But after sex becomes regular, its just a kiss, hands below the belt to get the girl a little wet, and jump on her. Take a look at your behavior and see if you need to step up a bit. Also, talk to her and see if maybe she is the one becoming complacent. Its so easy to just lay back and let the guy do all the work.

Also, did she start birth control recently?

[Magnetism]

I think it's just stress and also perhaps the familiarity of the relationship. Once relationships go past the initial high, things can slump...so you both have to find ways to rekindle that spark. Good luck.

For me, spending time away from the person I'm with helps me miss them more and want them more.

[john246]

I'd like to say that a relationship is not built on sex.

Off course that's an important aspect but sometimes, after all that lust, sex, sex, sex, the real need for "intimacy" creeps in. It ensures that it's know that the love is still there.

I appreciate men want sex, sex, and more sex. But, if that is all it feels to a woman? She stops giving it.

Ponder on that for a minute. Words are meaningless, action speaks louder than words.

To "want" to do something special for someone usually means you feel special.

At the beginning, naturally you do and you are in lust.

When was the last time you made her feel special, beautiful, loved for no reason, and certainly not to gain sex?

I'm giving you suggestions not putting you down by the way.

I make her feel special all the time, and im always telling her i love her, and helping her out with everything and i always there for her. And I LAWYAS tell her she's beautiful/sexy, and i especially tell her this on days where she doesnt put any effort into looking good at all, so i can remind her that she's sexy in my eyes no matter what she wears.

I make her feel special and beautiful all the time, i always talk about our future together, as does she. And i foreplay just as much as i always did. Basically, im not doing anything differently that i did from day 1.. So i just dunno whats what.

If my gf was like this the whole time, that would be fine and i woulda been used to it.. but ive never had sex before her (she did though before me) so she was the first girl i was sexually invovled with, she wanted sex all the time in the beginning. Us simply watching tv together would turn into her touching me below the belt and us having sex. We had so much sex and she was so horny, that me being a virgin b4 her, I was thinking to myself "****, are all girls this horny like this?" she was a border line nympho. And i was keeping up with it, no problem, and i was doing a good ob at it.

Now, i think to myself "is this the SAME GIRL I dated last year? Did she really wear that sexy lingerie and surprise me all those times or did i somehow dream that?" thats how different she has become sexually.

[john246]

Stress can do that. why did she go from being a student to working 2 jobs. I am guessing there are some issue with that. combine the fact that things do slow down after the initial lusty phase. People become comfortable and stop trying. I see it with men all the time. Since they know sex is going to happen, they just don't try any more. At the beginning of a relationship, there would be half an hour of intense making out. But after sex becomes regular, its just a kiss, hands below the belt to get the girl a little wet, and jump on her. Take a look at your behavior and see if you need to step up a bit. Also, talk to her and see if maybe she is the one becoming complacent. Its so easy to just lay back and let the guy do all the work.

Also, did she start birth control recently?

She went from a student to working 2 jobs, because she was alittle behind in school, so last yr, as much as she wanted a job wile going to school, i talked her into taking extra classes so she can graduate on time instead because she's stressed to me how important it is for her to graduate, and waiting til after the school year to work. So she took a heavy work load of school, which she thought was going to be hard for her and too much, but me, being a college graduate and a good student, i helped her out alot with school and helped her pass all her classes with good grades. We'd do her school work together and it was great. and i was supportive to her about not working while she's in school, because school was hard enough with the extra work load she was taking.

After the school year ended, she applied for a bunch of jobs, and wound up getting 2 part time jobs, where she's been working everyday because one job has her working on her off days from the other job. My gf is also still a student, but she only needs to take 2 classes this semester to graduate, so she has light school this semester.

Birth control- My gf has been on birth control for a year before I even met her, and ever since. I know birth control can reduce a woman's sex drive, but she was already on birth control before we dated, and her sex drive with me was still through the roof. We have condomless sex, and this is what my gf wanted the whole time.

The first time we ever had sex, it was my gf wanting it from me so badly. and it was my gf never wanting to use a condom since she's on the pill, and her saying how she loves doing it without condom.

[john246]

I think it's just stress and also perhaps the familiarity of the relationship. Once relationships go past the initial high, things can slump...so you both have to find ways to rekindle that spark. Good luck.

For me, spending time away from the person I'm with helps me miss them more and want them more.

Im thinking of just taking a break from sex/with holding iniating sex. I think we fell into a pattern of me always iniating it now, and she figures if i want it i'll iniate it, and if i dont want it i wont iniate it.

In the beginning, i also iniated sex, but it was always either my gf iniating it more often than me/before i did, or if i did iniate sex, my gf would get all in the mood fast!

I always thought guys were supposed to be the horn dogs when it cae to sex, but my relationship started off with my gf wanting it more than me! One time my gf surprised me in sexy lingerie, and i got so turned on, that i accidently came 2 minutes into sex, and she got so dissapointed and frustrated, that i had to leave the room while she masturbated and finished herself.

Now my gf wouldnt even care if i ever came in 2 mintues (not that i do) and she just doesnt iniate it. The other night im touching her down there, she was the 1 that told me she wanted to have sex that day, and she was the 1 that started intimately making out with me, so when i start touching her down there her response is "ughh im having chest pains today", and then i just stopped and we wound up watching tv rest of the night.

I thinking of just not iniating sex at all, and maybe she'll start wanting it more.

I have a gf, and i find myself jerking off every night all of a sudden just like i did when i was single.