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  • panada
    Junior Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 2

    Does sex on the first date mean you're easy?

    I’m 23 years old and I just moved into a new city – and country - for university. Over the weekend I met a really cute guy in the laundry room of our building. I was refilling my laundry card and we began talking. It turns out he just moved here too and apparently he never got a laundry card, so I let him use mine (he paid me of course). So we hit it off – yes, in the laundry room – and got beers soon afterwards on the same night. Everything was going awesome for a first date, we had so much in common and had great chemistry – then came the sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex was great. But I’ve never ever done anything like this. I’m monogamy before sex kinda girl; but now I’m the sex on the first date kinda girl! I’m a little ashamed, but not at the same time. It’s a strange feeling. During our session I told him I don’t usually have sex on the first date and he said he doesn’t either. Afterwards while we were cuddling he kept telling me to come see him at one of his hockey games.
    I have only had sex with one other guy, and we went out with him for two years, so this is a new territory for me. The next day after the one night stand, he texted me to ask I had a fun night and if he could use my laundry card again – I squirt, so I kinda ruined his brand new sheets – but I told him I would let him use my card. When we were in the laundry room, it was a bit awkward. I could tell he was trying to make it less awkward and create conversation but I was being weird and awkward. I went back to his place to grab the earrings I left behind. When I left I told him to “text me sometime” and he just smiled and said that he will.
    I like him but at the same time I’m not going to keep my hopes up just in case. I kinda want to ask him out for a second date though, but I think he has me labeled under “friends with benefits”. Is there any way of salvaging this? I need some advice, I have no game and no idea what to do. I hate being a girl and all the overthinking. Does he think I’m easy?
  • Truckstar
    Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 33

    No it doesn't, you had chemistry. You hit it off, he treated you nice the next day. It is a beautiful story. You are a grown up and you made a grown up decision. You should be happy because you enjoyed it.

    Later you will be happy because you both enjoyed it. First night, first time is so charged with NRE "New Relationship Energy", it is kinda just about you and a little about the other person.

    This story has started my day with a smile. Good luck.

    Comment

    • DreamP346
      • Oct 2011
      • 2053

      Sex on the first date means you liked somebody and was horny and had sex. Don't read any subtext into it. If a guys starts labeling you as easy for being confident in your sexuality, then dump him.

      It sounds like he is interested because he made an effort to get in touch the next day. He could have easily gotten a new laundry card and avoided you. Since he made the first move, you should make the next one. Don't wait for him to get in touch with you. Text him and ask him when his next hockey game is because you would like come.
      Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

      Comment

      • welsh-girl
        Member
        • Apr 2012
        • 20

        Originally posted by Truckstar
        No it doesn't, you had chemistry. You hit it off, he treated you nice the next day. It is a beautiful story. You are a grown up and you made a grown up decision. You should be happy because you enjoyed it.

        Later you will be happy because you both enjoyed it. First night, first time is so charged with NRE "New Relationship Energy", it is kinda just about you and a little about the other person.

        This story has started my day with a smile. Good luck.
        Well said. I completely agree you only live once

        Comment

        • ItsASecret
          APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH
          • Apr 2009
          • 3721

          If it happens it happens. However keep in mind that a lot of guys at that age will look to meet a girl, talk to the point of her liking him a bit, have sex, then not bother to contact again because they were looking for quick action. Watch out for that sort of behavior. If he does reply back to you for another date maybe not go for sex that day because then you can sort of gauge if he is actually interested in another date or just trying to get you in bed. Oh and always remember to be careful by using condoms or birth control...that rant lol.
          There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

          Comment

          • jns
            Assistant Admin
            • Mar 2010
            • 8398

            sp has a good suggestion for setting up a second date. You two will have to go out on some dates to find out if you are truly compatible. Start talking about likes and dislikes of things such as music and sports when there is a dead conversation. Family, courses, degrees, ideal jobs, etc.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment

            • panada
              Junior Member
              • Oct 2012
              • 2

              Originally posted by jns
              sp has a good suggestion for setting up a second date. You two will have to go out on some dates to find out if you are truly compatible. Start talking about likes and dislikes of things such as music and sports when there is a dead conversation. Family, courses, degrees, ideal jobs, etc.


              Right when I was about to text him for another date, he texted me. It was a weird text conversation too - it consisted of him asking me to watch a sports game with his friend but for me to 'bring a friend'. I said my friends are all busy and he pretty much told me to bring a friend or don't come. WTF. After class he texted me to ask if I was still coming and I said yes - BIGGGGG MISTAKE! If I could travel back in time, I would. It was literally his roommates, him, and I watching baseball together. I felt like the fourth wheel, and to make things worse I talked more to his roommate (who is really nice btw) then I did to him. I felt so uncomfortable. After a while I just told him I was leaving and just left. What a ****ty evening.

              Comment

              • jns
                Assistant Admin
                • Mar 2010
                • 8398

                A guy who doesn't make an effort to keep the conversation going during such a get together isn't making much effort to make a relationship out of it. Maybe he really thinks of you as fwb. I wouldn't make much effort on this unless he shows some initiative.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment

                • rcoreyus
                  Veteran Member
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 4369

                  I think that if a relationship has a future it doesn't matter at all if you have sex on the first date. As long as it wouldn't bother you to find out that it was "just sex", then no reason not to if things feel right.

                  Comment

                  • DDee
                    Junior Member
                    • Sep 2012
                    • 1

                    I don't think it necessarily makes you seem easy, guys do it all the time and they don't get a reputation because of it, so
                    why should we/women. I do feel however, that he may not respect you, as much, and I repeat may not. Switch things
                    around, do you think because this guy slept with you that he likely does this often with other girls and do you feel you
                    could respect or trust him for so quickly having sex with you, because I bet that has crossed his mind. If a guy was
                    truly interested in you and potentially have a relationship with you, he'd respect you and the potential relationship
                    and get to know you first before fooling around. I hope things work out for you, but I would not hold your breath.
                    If this guy shows interest now it is more then likely, but not absolutely, because he just wants sex and that's all.

                    Comment

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