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  • shoshannah
    Veteran Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 228

    Who comes first?

    My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about two years now. At first he had real trouble lasting long enough, but he has progressively gotten better. He still has some trouble lasting once I have my orgasm, though, because it excites him so much, but he does usually hang on until I have an orgasm.

    For those of you in steady relationships, who usually comes first during intercourse--the man or the woman? And if it's the woman, how long does the man usually last afterwards? Thanks!
    17
    The woman, usually
    82.35%
    14
    The man, usually
    17.65%
    3
  • Ratty
    Member
    • Nov 2011
    • 15

    I try to make sure she comes first, it's the gentlemanly thing to do after all.

    I usually find that what works best for us is for me to stimulate her - orally and by hand - until she reaches orgasm, it comes with practice (pun intended) and I know pretty much which buttons to press to push her over the edge. There is no feeling, short of my own orgasm, that feels as good as watching her in the throes of sexual ecstacy with the knowledge that I have brought her to it. Then, and only then, do we move on to penetration and I can lose myself in the pleasure of being inside her. Knowing that I have done my bit beforehand means I am under much less pressure to perform which ultimately makes it better for me and better for her.

    Granted it won't work for everyone and maybe our little routine lacks a bit of spontaneity but it works for us!

    Comment

    • rcoreyus
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 4369

      Can't answer because it can be either way for us. Actually I've always thought it was more polite to finish first, then take care of your partner, otherwise for some people it can turn into a chore one they have had their orgasm.

      Comment

      • maleview
        Member
        • Nov 2011
        • 28

        Ratty pretty much described our routine.

        Comment

        • DreamP346
          • Oct 2011
          • 2053

          After my hubby cums, he is pretty much done for. Nothing is happening after that. So I better get my stuff on before hand.
          Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

          Comment

          • rcoreyus
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2007
            • 4369

            that's unfortunate. He may need a few minutes to recover, but after he should be happy to do other things for you (assuming that like many men he can't get an erection soon again).

            Originally posted by sp346
            After my hubby cums, he is pretty much done for. Nothing is happening after that. So I better get my stuff on before hand.

            Comment

            • Guest

              She cums first...and quite often more than once...We both really enjoy cumming together whenever possible too.

              Comment

              • Jim60
                Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 60

                Bit of each, sometimes together. If it's me first I take a breather for a minute or two then get her off with hand/mouth, but she doesn't always want to.

                Comment

                • a_dub
                  Veteran Member
                  • Dec 2011
                  • 514

                  Is it normal for men to feel like not doing anything sexual after they've orgasmed? After I bust, I just wanna take a little nap and nothing else.

                  Comment

                  • Lulue
                    Junior Member
                    • Nov 2012
                    • 3

                    With my old partner, I used 2 com first and I would go on until he reaches orgasm, sadly with my current partner, he always comes first and fast and then he would just lie there, exhousted and satisfied while Im still craving for more its so not cool! I ges its better if its the women who comes first and best if you are to come at the same time!!
                    Lulue

                    Comment

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