[Isabel]

Hi, i just turned 27 and i´m still virgin, i consider myself a regular girl confortable in my own skin. I am catholic and i don´t have all those bad predjuices of my religion, and i don´t regret of remaining this way at all.

As a woman of my age, i do feel that i need human touch sometimes i just want to feel loved and have someone to cuddle as well, but the dealbreaker in my attempts of having a relationship is always the sex, i just don´t wanna be played, used or only for purposes for one night stand...well..the point is... time goes by...i´m not getting any younger so, i wish i get a guy response to this question: is fair to think at first sight that a girl has to be not normal for the fact that she has decided to stay virgin until marriage?

What i think is, that sex is the best thing to share with someone that truly loves you regardless your defects, and i feel that need sometimes...i´m just tired of been looked as weird or lesbian sometimes...and guys nowadays do not help to change this situation...maybe i will never get married..who knows....

PD: Sorry by my english, i live in the caribbean

[Stillness]

is fair to think at first sight that a girl has to be not normal for the fact that she has decided to stay virgin until marriage?

I think it's normal and good. Some people will disagree, but many men will still view maintaining virginity as virtuous. I do. My only concern if I was dating would be that the woman stayed a virgin because she was saving herself or didn't find the right partner instead of having an aversion to sex. I would absolutely be willing to date a virgin and stay celibate with her until marriage as long as I had a reasonable expectation of a sexually satisfying relationship. In fact, there's no question that I would prefer a virgin.

[Isabel]

Stillness, definitely is not an aversion to sex, actually sometimes is the fear of being played by someone else. It has been hard times for me when it comes to talk about this with the guys when they approach to me, they just walk away... i´m this way because i think i can live open and free my sexuality, but not with some random guy i met yesterday...just to prove that i can be what everybody wants me to be...

[MiscBrah]

Hi, i just turned 27 and i´m still virgin, i consider myself a regular girl confortable in my own skin. I am catholic and i don´t have all those bad predjuices of my religion, and i don´t regret of remaining this way at all.

As a woman of my age, i do feel that i need human touch sometimes i just want to feel loved and have someone to cuddle as well, but the dealbreaker in my attempts of having a relationship is always the sex, i just don´t wanna be played, used or only for purposes for one night stand...well..the point is... time goes by...i´m not getting any younger so, i wish i get a guy response to this question: is fair to think at first sight that a girl has to be not normal for the fact that she has decided to stay virgin until marriage?

What i think is, that sex is the best thing to share with someone that truly loves you regardless your defects, and i feel that need sometimes...i´m just tired of been looked as weird or lesbian sometimes...and guys nowadays do not help to change this situation...maybe i will never get married..who knows....

PD: Sorry by my english, i live in the caribbean

The issue is that you've made a huge deal about sex and now it has become a big part of your life. Your life is now defined by the fact that you are a virgin at 27.

It always intrigues me when women make a guy "wait" for sex. This itself ensures that you both define the relationship by sex. You don't ever really know if he likes you for you or if he was just so desperate that he figured he'd have a better chance of getting sex if he waited long enough rather than looking for somoene else. Trust me, any desirable man is not going to wait around. So not only have you ensured yourself a man that you probably won't find attractive but you've also made it very clear that the relationship is only about sex. If you want to start having real, healthy relationships stop thinking of sex as such a big deal.

Sex has two functions:

1) Cement a moment
2) Blow off Steam

That's it.

From reading your post I think that you definitely do regret living this way. BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. It's clear that you long for a special connection and the passionate feeling of making love with someone. Realize that you have the power to alter your life at any given day. You probably think that because you've waited this long you may as well keep going. That's not a very good mindset to have for anything in life let alone something that is bothering you as much as this is.

Never getting married is probably the worst solution to this problem.

[Stillness]

Isabel, In regard to this comment:

Trust me, any desirable man is not going to wait around.

My father-in-law married his current wife in her late 30's/early 40's and she was a virgin. He is a fairly wealthy, somewhat prominent member of the community, charming, funny and handsome. She moved to our area and he got her a well-paying job here in her field at one of the largest companies on this planet. They've been married around 15 years. She even got pregnant and so I have a young sister-in-law. You never know all that goes on in someone's home, but they seem to be a very happy family. She's a cool lady. As far as status goes, she married up, though. I don't know for sure that her virginity had anything to do with it, but I'm pretty certain it did. They even had a secret wedding that very few people know about before their public ceremony. Wonder what that was about.

That's just one person. But, I already mentioned that I'm another one. Somebody liked yours and my comments, so I'm guessing he agrees. Besides us I know a lot of other men who share my values. Most of them are a part of the religious community I belong to. My father-in-law is not though. My point is that we are out here. Don't be discouraged.

[spiderman]

Thats whats wrong with the world today. Someone has a bit of self worth and comfort in who they are and they are considered wierd. You do whatever is best for you. If you want to be a virgin until the right man comes along, then just do it. Do you think the people who think your wierd really care about you? Deep down they will only admire you for having the strength to do what they could not, but to your face your wierd. Men admire woman who hold onto their virginity. The men who dont are just **** heads.

[Avatar Nirvana]

I'm 23 and still a virgin, but not for religious or cultural reasons to wait for marriage. I haven't found the right guy yet. I'm in the same boat as you are, and I thought this was only a problem in America. I've been on this forum crying about it.