[Xo Dreamer]

Last night I saw my boyfriend's internet history. It was pages and pages of "Casual Encounters" on craigslist, most of them were couple for couple and some were just a man and woman looking for another guy. He was looking at some in our town and some across the country. Then he went on to a porn site and the first time the search said "taboo" second search was "taboo bi" third search was "taboo bi MMF" I got really upset cause if you're in a relationship with someone you have no right looking at those ads on craigslist of sleeping with someone else... I confronted him about it and he said it wasn't him, he didn't do it, someone must be messinging with him and he said "That's freaking gross, you really think I would be looking at gay porn." and "Do you seriously think after two years that I'm gay?" I never said anything about that to him... I was crying asking why he was looking at having sex with other people and other couples... He still insisted that he wasn't the one looking it up. We went back and forth for about five minutes with me saying "well who did?" and him saying "I didn't look that crap up."

The end of this month we will have been together for two years. I'm twenty, he's twenty one. We have sex, almost everyday, sometimes multiple times per day. He says he loves me and wants to be with me forever. He's never cheated on me (that I'm aware of) but every other guy I have gone out with has cheated on me, so him looking at ads of hooking up with others (males and females) is really making me uneasy, even though he claims it wasn't him. He pretty much lives at my house, he stays over almost every night. We're almost always together unless one of us is working. I love him, I just don't know how to feel about this. I don't know if it is normal. Can anybody give me any advice?

[lionesslady_]

Instead of freaking out on him, try asking him nicely. What I'm trying to say is start your conversation like this "Baby, you know you can trust me with anything..." Something like that, if he really is bi or something you freaking out on him will not make him want to tell you. Gain his trust,

[JaneSays]

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Bi-curious maybe. Sounds like you are both very active, also very young. It's possible that he's just curious to know if people actually do this menage thing. Possibly scheming like most guys do to see how to get you to have one. Just because you google it doesn't mean you want to do it. It's the internet. Have you ever watched Jenna Marbles, 'What Girls Do on the Internet'? I saw things very black and white in long term relationships when I was younger. They ended because it always resulted in the guy cheating or lying. I think if he's a liar... after two years you know he's a liar and that is really the issue here. We both know when they lie. I've been cheated on too and sometimes you have to go with your gut. It's a loss and certainly a guy being curious over this would be no reason I'd see to break it off. But that queasy feeling you get when you know he's lying and he does it a lot. Is it possible that your reaction might have been a little emotional based on your past? Betrayal might be a little too familiar to you. But just think, if he is bisexual. Do you want him to be afraid to tell you?

[Xo Dreamer]

I didn't freak out on him. He knows he can tell me anything, he usually does. Also why did he blurt out the "I wouldn't watch gay porn" when I didn't even mention that. There wasn't any all gay porn or posts on his history when I saw it, although he did only have two days, which means he had erased it.
And I don't think he was just looking to see if people really did that, there was pags and pages on his history of ads looking for another male or couple to hook up with, probably over 40 posts he looked at. And no I would not want him to be afraid to tell me it's the whole thing that if he's curious he is eventually going to want to experiment with it and I'm sorry but I'm not into sharing my boyfriend with another man or woman. I'm not one of those idiotic teens who are like "okay, bisexual people can have a girlfriend and a boyfriend, that's perfectly okay!"

[JaneSays]

I've never heard of that. I'm so old. I didn't even know what this couples exchange was on craigslist. You've educated me. I dated a guy once and he brought up the three way thing a little too soon. He offered to go both ways. We didn't work out. Then I found out his ex girlfriend thought he was gay. He checked out other men but it seemed more like an agressive alpha male thing, and he was really attractive but just emotionally unavailable. I think I would be broken hearted to learn I fell for him and later find out he's into men. I asked him about this once in some rant I sent him. He replied a few days later with naughty texts about feminine stuff but in a weird romantic way. If he wants to be with a guy, I guess you have to let him. He might just be confused but it's really unfair for you to be in that position. Trust your instincts. Being lied to is never cool. And yeah the whole teen bisexual thing. I don't understand it. I could never meet the emotional needs of a woman. I like my feminity and I like a masculine man who wants to fix my sink, watch football, and do guy stuff. If you think hes gay or bisexual and that bothers you, you should do something about it.

[DreamP346]

MMF and other stuff doesn't mean gay at all. A lot of times its about 2 men pleasing one woman. Same with couple exchanges. I like reading craigslist posts. Sometime for fun (because some of them are really funny) and sometimes because I'm curious. But I would never in a million years cheat on my husband. Also, fantasies don't always equal reality. In fantasy, you can be and do anything/one. That's why its fantasy.

The issue is more about your BF lying to you. He may have the MMF fantasy and just isn't comfortable sharing that with you because he knows you would not be up for it. Try talking to him and getting him to open up. You can play out the MMF fantasy without actually introducting another person - using your imaginationg, toys, etc.

[Xo Dreamer]

He was offered a threesome with two girls before and said no cause he thinks its gross. And we have a mutal friend who wanted to do mmf with his girlfriend and my boyfriend was disgusted... he claimed he didn't get why anyone would let someone else have sex with their significant other...

[MoeJr]

First of all just because he says it is gross.....doesn't mean he is telling you everything! Secondly , yes I understand the lying is terrible. But if curiosity is killing him so to speak, put yourself in his shoes ( honestly) Would you want to admit to something of that nature when you weren't sure what you were thinking, feeling, etc. Not even so much as of just a fantasy, maybe it was just curiousness, when confronting him he probably felt embarrassed, felt as if you would be looking down on him, or he would turn you off, and when he isn't sure of anything himself, how can he answer your questions? My guess would be he was just looking...no more no less. My advice: Keep an open eye, an open mind, maybe quietly, loving like, ask him questions. he will open up and you will then know the truth. Best of luck!