[SpankedWife]

My husband of 12 years and I have been in a sexual rut for about a year. For various reasons: stress, kids, overtired, etc. We are starting to have less and less sex. The past four months have been the worst. We haven't even been intimate since the weekend after Thanksgiving!

I had been masturbating a couple times a week to take care of my desire, which initially was doing the job, but it's not enough anymore. I want to be with my husband very badly. This week I have been masturbating every night since last Friday. (really embarassed to admit this). Well yesterday I couldn't take the lonliness and longing anymore so I prompted a conversation.

It went very well! We discussed what was causing the rut and have decided that some things need changing and that no matter what, Saturday is our "relationship day". This Saturday we are going to go out to dinner, rent a movie (and sit together on the couch) and end the night with love making. Not sure what we will do as a date next Saturday, but we are going to end each one by being intimate.

I am beyond thrilled!! I never thought that scheduling sex sounded so nice until now! I thought scheduling would ruin it but even my husband says that he likes the anticipation. It has given me hope. Knowing that we will be intimate has taken the constant worry away about when and if it's going to happen. I do have to admit though, I was hoping that knowing we were going to be making love would curb my need for masturbation, instead it's done the opposite. At any rate, I really can't wait for date night!! :-) :-)

[Stillness]

Thank you for sharing this. Maybe this is the next thing I'll try since "30 Days of Sex" got shot down. I had a workmate tell me this worked for her. Having sex once a week does not thrill me at all. Scheduling for it thrills me even less. But maybe the quality time will carry over into the rest of the week.

I guess today is the day. Let us know how it goes and keep us posted as to how this progresses, if you don't mind.

[jns]

You do of course, realize that scheduling time together is normal during the dating phase of a relationship. It is also one of the times in a relationship when hormones run the strongest. Maybe it would be nice to have everything happen spontaneously, but that is not how things often happen. Schedule and anticipate can help. Remind your husband he has to get flowers or some other small gift to go along with the date. He probably know that, but he might forget. After the first time he shouldn't need a reminder.

[Element]

My boyfriend likes scheduling it sometimes. He says that knowing it's going to happen on a particular day helps to ramp him up.

[Guest]

Date nights are great as long as they don't put too much pressure on either party or become so routine that they turn in to "chore nights". So keep up the variety and have a good time both in and out of the bedroom...or wherever intimacy may take you...