[jon-uk]

- she may have never had an orgasm (usually, there's a point where I'm performing oral sex and she prompts me to stop before
she climaxes--she told me she was saving her orgasm for her husband)

Might be totally wrong here but do you think she wants you to ask her to marry you? She's obviously got all sorts of fixed ideas about sex and how it ties into marriage, from her background/upbringing etc. Maybe what she's saying to you is marry me and I'll do what you want?

Sounds like she also uses sex as a "weapon" to control you. That may or may not continue after marriage but odds are it will. I'd think very hard about whether you want this girl to be part of your long term future.

[kira]

I'd run from anyone who thought masturbation was wrong when it wasn't interfering with your ability to perform sex with your partner.

[rcoreyus]

I'm firmly of the opinion that masturbation is only bad if it is used as a substitute for intimacy with a partner, not if it is used when your partner is not available. It is completely normal for both men and women to masturbate sometimes even when they are in a relationship. If someone doesn't want their partner to masturbate, I think they need to be available to provide sexual release whenever their partner wants it.

I go further in that I think porn is OK when your partner is not available, but I know a lot of people would disagree.

There are a lot of things in your post about your girlfriend that really bother me:

She doesn't like you masturbating - this is a completely unrealistic expectation and an unreasonable and controlling one.

She won't give you oral sex, but likes to receive it. I know that some women are like this, but it is a sign of not being sexually "fair". She also seems to expect you to do more things sexually for her, than she does for you.

She doesn't masturbate. If true, that is a bit worrisome because it indicates that she is not comfortable with her sexuality. If a lie, well then its a lie.

My opinion: Have a talk with her about this - forget the past, both of you are free to masturbate - even do so together. Have her agree to being more willing to please you in bed. If she refuses (and I suspect she will), then RUN. Run as fast as you can before this one sided relationship becomes a lifelong trap. I see a miserable future for you if this continues. I agree with a previous poster that this will not resolve itself.

I know what I'm talking about: this has a lot of similarity to my relationship. Its true that right now things are wonderful (I still don't know what changed)- but that was after 30 years of being sexually frustrated. Let me say it again: 30 YEARS that I did everything I could to try to improve things and failed.