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  • kiersey
    Junior Member
    • Feb 2013
    • 3

    Psyching myself out! Please help!

    So recently I guess over the past few months I've been having trouble orgasming. I never had much issue before but lately it seems like I've been psyching myself out before climax. So my question is how do I block out all the things that distract me from climaxing? The most common distraction is that no matter how ok my boyfriend acts about it I know it bothers him.
  • Guest

    positive thinking, yoga ...

    Comment

    • CHANDLERS WISH
      • Mar 2008
      • 22440

      Hi Kiersey

      If I understand this correctly, your boyfriend is bothered by you not orgasming?

      That's too much pressure on a person, your mind would be constantly thinking " I have to" as apposed to enjoying what you two have together and it happening naturally.

      Our brains are wired to think and to switch off. If someone programmes it to constantly "think" during sex, then that spells trouble.

      Could you maybe explain that to him, tell him that you have orgasms because you love him, because you enjoy him but you like to just concentrate on the pleasure of it all. Being told after the fact puts a damper on the next time...
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment

      • x.st.angel.x
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2009
        • 1479

        Just relax and dont put pressure on yourself. I suggest even talking to your partner about it and tell him that you are pressuring yourself. Perhaps you 2 can figure out a way to help you relax, if he is engaging in helping you take the pressure off it might help!

        -Saint

        Comment

        • kiersey
          Junior Member
          • Feb 2013
          • 3

          He doesn't mean to it just affects him makes him feel inadequate which I understand. I've always been far too in my head during sex it's just never affected me this much before. That's what I'm trying to figure out is how to switch my brain off.

          Comment

          • kiersey
            Junior Member
            • Feb 2013
            • 3

            He knows what's happening and he tries to tell me it doesn't matter and I try to believe him it just doesn't work all that well. Any suggestions on something that might help me relax and forget about it?

            Comment

            • jns
              Assistant Admin
              • Mar 2010
              • 8398

              Blank your mind. Work on not thinking about anything. Then your should just react from the stimulation. If you are facing your bf, work on not focusing your eyes so he is a blur
              I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
              ...
              Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

              From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

              Comment

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