[margie123]

I'm in a bad mood & need to vent. I have no sisters or really anyone to go to & I do like all the advice I get here, weather I want to hear it or not, Thanks. When I'm in the mood and Initiate Sex it's usually night time. But I do get turned down 70% of the time. He will say, I'm tired had a hard day, give me a hour to rest, well, once he's asleep he's asleep. But then in the morning he wants sex, I never say no, but I'm not into it. My back usually sore, bad breath, & he's usually only interested in a quickie, no kissing. In the morning I feel ok just get it over with already. When do I get my pm share. I am being very honest here. I have 1 orgasm to his 10. I'm really getting mad. I woke up today mad. No orgasm in 10 days, he had 4. He said it's not his fault I can't do it at his pace. When I brought it up last time he said, "how old are you, grow up. (I'm 48) and orgasm has never been easy for me. By myself no problems, with him I need hand stimulation from him. I think alot during sex & if I don't feel love, or we have gotten into a argumentI think a orgasm would be easier if he would tell me nice things more. How can I explain to him, I need to feel like he wants me and think I'm beautiful. I'm not even in the mood lately. Yesterday he was in bed watching the news, I laid next to him & he said, "go exercise", I said why? he said your heavy. I just left the room. He always says something about my weight, chubby, 2x10 or even 2x20, If I get mad he said, I love to kid with you. I don't know about other men, but another thing we will be laying in bed, he constantly farts, his *** facing me in bed, he thinks itr's funny like a kid, I think it's direspectful, I guess that would be ok but I cannot fart close to him because Im a lady, & that is not proper. (I think I'm starting to be nic picky) I don't feel loved anymore. The quickies make it even worse to my self esteem. If I say, "I don't feel like you love me", his response is we had sex, or I married you. We have several issues in the past, that I had posted about. I always end up saying I'm sorry, just to get back to livable terms. How can I explain to him how I feel. I think he always takes it as he not a man or not doing it right, he seems to be insulted. Help.

[Harmony]

Me and my newish GF are similar to this. I prefer sex in the morning or daytime and she wants it every night. We always have 1-1 orgasms, I've cum a couple of times when she hasn't but we've had sex where she's climaxed 2 or 3 times and me once. I can empathize with him there since all I want to do is sleep at night, whereas she just wants sex, especially if she's had a glass of wine. I just compromise and make the effort more often than not, once I get into it I'm glad I did, it's strange actually because I need more foreplay to get me started at night.

Re the rest of your husbands behavior is despicable. Any man knows that you NEVER make comments abut a woman's weight (or age); it's a really touchy subject for 99% of women, it's comparable to a woman joking about the size of her partner's penis. A man saying to a woman "my ex was slimmer than you" is tantamount to a woman saying to her partner, "my ex was better in bed than you and had a bigger penis too". He needs to understand this. I have to admit I fart in bed too but I'd never say anything like that.

You should tell him that if he can't satisfy you sexually he should at least try and cultivate some social skills, manners, and a modicum of common decency; does he have visible abs?

[DreamP346]

Men usually want sex in the mornings because that is when their testosterone levels are the highest. At that time, they are running on pure biological drive. They are feeling aroused and what to get off quickly because it is a purely physicial need, not necessarily an emonational one. Maybe that is why the quickies is the main objective. I don't know why women seems to want sex more in the evenings, but it seems to be very common.

It sounds like you husband has just gotten very complacant with your relationship and doesn't see the need to try any more. Time to have a long talk with him about your feelings and try to make him commit to trying. If you can give him sex when he wants, he would do the same for you. There needs to be a compromise. If you don't make his work for this relationship and basically keep giving him everything he needs without him doing anything for you, he will be trained to just expect things without putting any effort forth.

[caster]

I really can't add much to what Harmony said, he nailed it pretty good, and your husbands personal behavior toward you is deplorable.
At 48 I assume he's the same or around 50. That's about the time I started having trouble having sex at night. Long stressful day at work, commute home, dinner, clean up, relax, time for shower and bed. Weekends are all day doing gotta do's, by Sat-Sun evenings I'm just worn out. Sunday morning is the easiest for me, sad to say it that way but that's where we are now.
My wife doesn't care much either way, I'll have to start my own thread for that though.

But like Harmony, on the evenings we do once I get into it I'm glad I did, but it's becoming increasing rare for us in the evenings as we get older.

[time2discover]

You have to let him know that sex goes both ways.If you don't get pleasure out of it,
let him know he won't either if he keeps it up. Maybe start a discussion about trying
new things. Breaking the routine can be very helpful and bringing new games to the
bedroom might help. For sure though he has to understand that he needs to put as
much effort into pleasing you as you do to him. Have a good discussion with him and
let us know how it goes.

[kira]

I always end up saying I'm sorry, just to get back to livable terms.

If you just keep giving in nothing will ever change. You have to stand your ground even if it means things are worse for awhile. That's the only way they will get better. By now he probably knows you'll give in so he has no incentive to do anything different or respect you.

[Guest]

sp346
is right

[Trisha23]

Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband and tell him all your sentiments and ask him to try to understand you. Ask him to at least exert at least a little effort in your sex life coz that plays a big part in a married life.

[jns]

Testosterone is higher in men in the morning, so his preference of when is understandable. Your preference is also understandable as that is when you are your best and relaxed. Make a compromise where you get your time, then he gets his time, then repeat.

[Stillness]

I highly recommend getting up, stretching a bit and brushing your teeth beforehand. My situation is sorta flipped. My wife will sometimes put me on hold at night and want to make it up with a quickie before work. I brush my teeth and make her brush hers so I don't have to deal with her breath or mine. I can't stand it and I have a keen sense of smell. I don't care how irritated she is or what it interrupts. I get a chance to get my blood pumping, wake up a bit, and splash some water on my face. It only takes a few minutes. That way it's not just a mechanical thing, but we can kiss and be a bit more passionate and intimate.

The advantage I have is being the one who is always going to get to climax. Orgasm does not equal fulfillment for me, though. The real killer is when she actually asks if we can make it quick. Sexy, right? I'm answering her "OK" but on the rare occasion I'm getting some I'm not about to just bang it out. It's my goal to make her feel it. As far as I can tell my wife doesn't care about orgasm and doesn't really show too much appreciation when I give her one, although she claims she does likes it. I seem to get more complaints than compliments when I do give her one. I feel like it's good for her, though. I figure she can skip breakfast, put her hair into a pony tail, and walk into whatever meeting she has a little late.

I say, take the am quickie, get into it like it was your idea, and make him wonder what got into you. Don't just let him just cum without getting something out of it for yourself.