[anonimousey]

Hiya, ragdoll. Thank you for replying to my

[anonimousey]

Sorry, pressed send by accident.

Hiya ragdoll, thanks for replying to my post, I appreciate you story and thoughts, your English is just fine. I'm glad you're well on your way to recovery.

I definately won't google it (thanks for warning me) as it will send me crazy.

What kind of excercises or treatments were you advised to do?

I've just started a new thread on the gyno forum about this tightness, I feel so many women go through this, so the more people talk about it, the more we can loosen (sorry) up about things we consider embarrasing.

To update you all (if you care), i'm already back from my 5 day trip with my boyfriend. We got food poisoning from their food on the first morning and were back at home by 12am.
I discussed my feelings with him, I told him I thought I might be a sexual as I have no interest in sex and stuff; he told me that he used to think he was as well.
After a lot of thought I decided we should take a shower together to increase the intimacy between us.
We undressed (awkwardly) and showered together. It was so nice! If you find yourself in a situation similar to the one I was/am in, I would definately reccomend it.
It was warm and comforting, washing each other was so intimate and nice. We didn't do anything sexual because I didn't feel I was ready for it, but it definately helped. I felt more in touch with my boyfriend and his body. Letting him touch me while we were hot and wet was amazing too, I've put on a lot of weight so i'm really uncomfortable withi my body, but he made me feel so good.

I feel more open to sex & sexual activities now, i'm just aware that i'm a finger tight (if you see what I mean, it's a fingers width wide), and his penis is bigger than that = pain!

I'm sorry that this post is long winded and probably jumbled, I just want to share my discoveries and help other women

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Your avoiding the real reason.

Unhealthy views of sexual intercourse causes primary sexual dysfunction.

This Victorian view denies you of pleasure - who cares about this silly notion of what is proper or this religious bs.

You'll be dead one day and the greatest pleasure that you can experience will not happen unless you change your beliefs.

Religious attitudes from what I have read is the number one reason why some women do not achieve orgasm.

There would be a fundamental reason why your vagina is not getting wet.

The least serious is Dyspareunia ( your partner is a lousy lover ) or more serious Vaginismus: (LINK REMOVED) (Extreme vaginal lockout caused by psychological trauma, [rape, or some other traumatic experience.)

If your in pain you need to stop having sex and find the cause of the problem.

Poor lover can solved the easiest. Spend hours on effective foreplay.

If you have been traumatised by some event in your life then that's probably going to be harder to solve but maybe not impossible.

Make love without penetration for a few months until your dripping wet then and only then should you allow him to enter you otherwise don't.

[anonimousey]

Who said anything about religion? I said Victorian views not Christian views.

I haven't been through anything traumatic, and I don't have a poor lover. Sex is just painful for me

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

I've made some assumptions which may or may not be correct but from what I know myself most women like pleasure.

If making love with your partner is pleasurable then naturally you would want to do it.

If its painful then obviously something is wrong but without explicit information its a bit hard to know what to say to you.

If he's well endowed and your like a mouses ear then your partner needs to get you very wet before he even thinks about penetration.

That means a lot of foreplay.

I'd even use a good brand of lube just for safe measure.

Take is slow and gently and don't force anything if your experiencing any kind of discomfort then just stop and don't continue until you work out why.

If you've both done everything right and there is still a problem you might want to go to your local GP and see if there is some other health related issue.

[Guest]

My physiotherapist taught me how to contract my vaginal muscles. I had to do that for about 10 seconds, then completely relax for 20. I did this ten times, twice a day for months, and got very good control over my muscles. In addition to that, I used an electric apparatus, which emitted some sort of electrical waves inside my vagina, signalling for the muscles to relax. Although it was uncomfortable at first, after some time it really did get better, and I do recommend it.

After several months, I was started using vaginal dilators, which are like dildos. They usually come in a set of 4 sizes. Their purpose is to get used to having something inside of your vagina. I started with the smallest size, which really isn't very big. The way to use them is by bringing them slowly in and out, and for god sake use lots of lubrication. The biggest one in my set was almost the size of a penis, and I thought I'd never get it inside, but after using the set 2-3 times a week for some time, I was able to use the biggest one without it hurting. The last part I'm in now I am "stretching" the parts around my opening which is kinda weird and difficult to explain.

It does sometimes still hurt for me, but the key to avoid pain is to make sure to be aroused. Personally I developed a complicated and resentful relation to the topic of sex, so a lot of the recovery has been on a mental level as well.

I am happy to hear about you and your boyfriend, I really hope the experience brought you closer. I think it's important to communicate and be respectful in situations like these. If/when you feel ready, you could let him try to finger you, or the two of you can explore each other in other sexual ways without having intercourse. It is fully possible (;

[Wowzer]

There's nothing wrong with not liking sex!!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal with NOT liking sex. Some people just simply don't!!! And some people simply do. If you don't like it - don't do it. Actually, you'll really better off - no time wasted on a stupid, senseless activity, no need to have go take a shower to get rid of the "icky-sticky", and you can get a lot more sleep without someone pestering you half the night!!!

[KarenTheChef]

it could be something medical.....

relationship issues can definitely affect libido and painful sex, but sometimes there culd be medical reasons for these things too. i dont know where you live but you should google 'painful intercourse treatment' or 'low female libido treatment' and im sure you can somewhere near you where you can get help. hope things work out

[anonimousey]

Ragdoll, thanks again for your comments. I'm always amazed at what science has brought us these days, I hope it keeps getting better for you, I imagine the massive weight that was on your shoulders is getting increasingly lighter.

Wowzer thanks for replying. I agree with you completely, sex isn't for everyone, and that's completely awesome. I feel in complete limbo with my feelings, I don't know which way to turn, it's like an infinite loop.

Thanks for your comments too, Karen. I have spoken to my GP about this, she hasn't mentioned that it's an actual physical problem although I'm thinking thats because it's not something a lot of young women go through?

I spent some time reading through the threads on an asexuality forum I found but I didn't find anything of help to me

Negative experience of sex -> negative thoughts of sex -> negative experience of sex -> negative thoughts of sex -> negative experience of sex -> negative thoughts of sex ->

Etc etc