[Stillness]

Sorry to sidetrack, but as someone that doesn't use (or tries not to) foul language verbally or in print, but I've been surprised to have my comments starred out from time to time. It was kind of irritating, but I have to say that it does add to the mature, respectful atmosphere that many of us appreciate on this site. I'd rather have the error on the side of caution. And there is always another way to say what you're trying to say that doesn't require vulgarity.

[LisaW1991]

I wasn't being vulgar, or offensive, that's the point.

The words I used can be heard on prime time TV. It seems the filter level is set to block all words adults would not use in front of young children. The contradiction is that the sex discussions are very explicit in the details of what people do during sex, which would not be discussed in front of young children.

I fully agree that the forum is better for not allowing porn words\phrases to be used. I support having people being restrained in how they phrase things. I just think slapping my hand for using terms you don't speak in front a 4 year old is just silly because I'm not speaking to a preschool of children. Those who read my post weren't going to offended, and the words I use were appropriate in the context of this topic.

[Claret]

As someone else pointed out these forums are read by many young persons and it is in our best interest to not use unacceptable words. If you wouldn't say them to your 14 yo daughter or your niece face-to-face then why would you use that type of language here? Also, as an adult, what may seem acceptable to you during sex may not be acceptable to all. There are many and various ethnicities on this forum and those kinds of words would not be acceptable to them. I think we can get the idea of what your saying without you actually saying it.

[krrahman]

Looking for better conversation

Since I am new here, naturally it will takes little time to understand all the behaviour of this great forum, and at the same time i am looking for having all around support from you honorable members. Thanks.

OK, I'll respect the rule.

I just don't think I was using the words inappropriately. Both words can be heard in Primetime TV, so I wasn't exactly using four letter words as if I have potty mouth, and I wasn't directly them at someone as means to attack\insult them. I was using them in context of this topic, which is an adult topic. Filters serve a purpose because moderators can't read every post to determine if hot button words are being used to cause problems, but that shouldn't mean responsible adults can't use their discretion when using specific examples. Saying "he called me a naughty girl" is not the same thing "He called me a ********************************"

I guess I am saying it seems to be a bit of a contradiction to not allow acceptable words that come up during sex, and are not offensive to the majority, when there are adult specific discussions of sex of what people do during sex.

[LisaW1991]

As someone else pointed out these forums are read by many young persons and it is in our best interest to not use unacceptable words. If you wouldn't say them to your 14 yo daughter or your niece face-to-face then why would you use that type of language here? Also, as an adult, what may seem acceptable to you during sex may not be acceptable to all. There are many and various ethnicities on this forum and those kinds of words would not be acceptable to them. I think we can get the idea of what your saying without you actually saying it.

I'm not talking in generalities here. I very very being specific. The words I used can be used in front of teenagers. They are words used in Prime time TV. Nobody would have been offended by them, that's the point. I'm being slap on the hand for using terms that are suitable for adults and teenagers, they just aren't words people use with preschool children. And like I've stated, the graphic nature of the topic of sex, is far more likely to be offensive than the words I used. A person has to say the word "Darn", because the word "Dam" is considered offensive. Darn\dam is trivial because it makes little difference, but sometimes a specific word is the right word rather than saying "While in bed I was deeply offended when he called me 'a lady of the evening'" The real word can be offending in that context (which is the point), but when watered down to preschool language, its more likely to seem trivial or maybe funny\cute.

[Claret]

But, adult mature persons, would know what you mean and frankly I for one, don't need graphics to get the gist of the story, or the intent of the words.

[LisaW1991]

What I wrote wasn't graphic. I am not debating what has happened in the past, or the endless possibilities of what could happen in the future, I'm focusing just on what what I wrote.

[Claret]

Back to the original topic, Little Lotte, perhaps it was just deja vu - A feeling he had experienced once before and at that moment in time used this name! Our minds are funny and when encountering situations in which we've been before, - we tend to react the way we did before. It may just have been an automatic response to how he felt exactly then. I wouldn't be upset about it, but I'd talk about it with him. You have no control over who he was with prior to being with you. The fact that he is with you and not her would say a lot more than a name uttered in a moment of passion. For all you know it could be his high school teacher that he had a crush on when he was 17. Take a deep breath and approach this in a calm frame of mind and he'll respond the same. You may even want to joke about it rather than make a federal case out of it. A little levity will go a long way for both of you.

[Little]

Lisa, if the profanity filter bothers you so much, you should read the FAQ item about it, which I hope portrays more accurately why it is in place. Naturally, there are going to be occurrences of words where they might be completely acceptable - being that it's automatic, there are bound to be downfalls like this. You are not being punished in any way for use of censored words - they are simply censored. Punishment comes in the forms of warnings, infractions, and bannings, none of which I hope you have suffered as you have broken no rules.

[LisaW1991]

Thanks, I am willing to let it go at that, and hope and others won't feel the need to continue it either.