[Little Lotte]

Hello, Im new to this site, but I'm in desperate need for help.

I've been married to my husband since october, and I did lose my virginity to him previously before we married, I know Ben wasnt a virgin when he took my virginity, but I just dont know, Im so confused.
I love him too pieces, he is just my everything, we get on so well, but when it comes to the bedroom I'm really not confident at all. Ben is very sweet and takes his time with me, I always try new things, and try my hardest, but I know Im not perfect, and I suppose this can be frustrating for a man.

Okay, so the other day, we were love making, and I had climaxed, but Ben hadnt yet, he reached his, and tensed up, kissed me, then with his eyes closed, started moaning quietly 'Josie...' Im not called Josie! Im Lotte! I was so appalled!!!He does usually call out my name, and I find that so adorable, thats one of my favourite parts, so for him to say somehting else was awful! I just started crying, he said it three or four times, before he climaxed, then realised I was crying and gave me a kiss and held me, and asked what was wrong, he was so worried about me. I was so stunned, I didnt say anything, I was angry, upset, confused, I didnt want to embarass him, he was very loving, but Im almost a hundred per cent sure he didnt realise he said that name. But it hurt so bad, he called another woman's name! Not mine.

I dont want to make love if he's going to say someone elses name, but then I'll be letting him down....but I dont know...Im pretty new to all this...is this normal? Do guys do this? Has anyone else had this problem before...?

Please help!

[BabyGirl]

Awww Honey, I know it was hurtful to you. And yes it's happened to me, years ago.
You will have to bring the issue up to him, though not while love making.

Sit him down for a talk, ask him gently, " Who's Josie, was she an Ex " ?
If he says " Huh ?" Just explain that he accidentally called you Josie when making love. Be honest and explain that it hurt your feelings. Explain how you adore it when he calls out your name, but another Woman's name hurts you.

I'm almost a hundred per cent sure he didn't realize he said that name.

He very well will not remember it, But your bringing it up ,will certainly remind him in the future, who he is making love with.
Be Mature about it and let it go gracefully,Tell him how much you love him and tell him Josie or Mary or any other Woman will never have a chance at him, because he is Yours .

He sounds like a Decent Guy, he made a Mistake, Forgive him. This Time , lol

OH and to give you a " Chuckle ". My Ex from 30 years ago, cheated on me with 3 others gals, He called us all " Honey " so he wouldn't mix up our names . Of course we Divorced.
But 10 years ago, he came up for our Daughters Wedding. He was with one of the Gals he'd cheated on me with, Her name is Cathy. Anyway,they have been together over 30 years, On & Off.

So here we are at the Rehearsal Dinner. I was bringing some Food trays out to the Backyard, where the Dinner was held. All of a sudden, I hear my Ex, Loudly say.. " God~Dangit ( of course the real words ) My Name .. I told you not to worry about it ."

All Eyes and Ears went to my Ex and Cathy . Sitting at the Table.
He was talking to her, not me ...He Called her My Name after 20 plus years of being Divorced.. Lol,

Silence was Golden. Lmao... And I know for Sure he didn't get any " Nookie " that whole 4 day Trip up here ..

And to top this off, Since he and Cathy have been together 30 plus years. I made him Marry her this last Fall.
Yep Made him .. We are still friends, he and I and I told him it was time that He made an Honest Woman of her.30 plus years was long enough for her to put up with his BS.

So just after Thanksgiving I get a Call from Him ,They went to Vegas and Married. I asked him where and he said " The Little Chapel of the West ". Which cracked me up. I explained that he should never tell Cathy, that that is where He & I marred in 1978.

Again, Silence is Golden ..

[LisaW1991]

Guys do sometimes have sexual fantasy that they are having sex with someone else. If that's all it is, then there's nothing to worry about. However, if underneath he is not satisfied with his sex life (which includes sexual fantasies), then it means its something that needs to worked out between you two.

Even if it nothing more than a fantasy, its still OK to set limits and tell him he can't be calling you by other names that you don't find acceptable. Some guys will use the word ************ or **********, but his intent is not to be cruel\mean\abusive, it just turns them on more by saying it. And some girls love it just as much when a guy does.

[BabyGirl]

Guys do sometimes have sexual fantasy that they are having sex with someone else. If that's all it is, then there's nothing to worry about. However, if underneath he is not satisfied with his sex life (which includes sexual fantasies), then it means its something that needs to worked out between you two.

Even if it nothing more than a fantasy, its still OK to set limits and tell him he can't be calling you by other names that you don't find acceptable. Some guys will use the word ********** or **********, but his intent is not to be cruel\mean\abusive, it just turns them on more by saying it. And some girls love it just as much when a guy does.

As Lisa Verified. Fantasies could be " OK " during Sex. But Really ?
I think during Masturbation alone.. Maybe ?
But not while Climaxing with You in the middle of Having Sex. Personal Opinion here.
But Screaming or Whispering some other Persons Name just as Climaxing, would be a Huge Turn off and an Instant " Go to the Dog House ' And Lick your Own Wounds. Yes Dogs can lick their own.

Lisa, not sure how long you can Underscore the " Swear Words " but try to use. Other Words that mean the Same Thing..
CW uses Carp for Crapolla .. But it does mean Feces from Body of Human or Male Bull.
Even I have to use new and Inventive words for the new fangled things they come up with for Short Term saying on here .

[Kalika3850]

Your needs are just as important as his. You are an equal part in this relationship you will have to find the courage to talk to him about it or it will continue to bother you. You have every right to answers as that is a very hurtful, though accidental, thing to do to someone else. I don't agree that fantasies during sex are ok, especially when you are so newly married. While masturbating, certainly. Are you having an orgasm while having sex? This should be an enjoyable pastime for you as well...not just something you are doing because it's what he wants. You need to learn what you like and be open so it can be an intimate and enjoyable experience for both of you, not just him. I was a late bloomer as well and it takes time to find out what you want and what you like.

[LisaW1991]

Lisa, not sure how long you can Underscore the " Swear Words " but try to use. Other Words that mean the Same Thing..
CW uses Carp for Crapolla .. But it does mean Feces from Body of Human or Male Bull.
Even I have to use new and Inventive words for the new fangled things they come up with for Short Term saying on here .

Thanks, I understand what you are saying. I used those words appropriately. Forum Filters have a valid purpose which is to help prevent people from attacking\insulting each other, and\or to be unnecessarily vulgar, which I fully agree with and support. I did not use those words in a manner that would be considered abuse, and in general most people will not be offended by reading what I posted. This is an adult forum so we can expect people to be OK with adult language being used in the proper adult\responsible\restrained context.

[Stillness]

Okay, so the other day, we were love making, and I had climaxed, but Ben hadnt yet, he reached his, and tensed up, kissed me, then with his eyes closed, started moaning quietly 'Josie...'

This may be a dumb question, but are you sure that this is what he was saying? I personally don't think this is normal. You ask is it normal for guys, but we're not that different. Is it normal for you or for women? I've called my girlfriend by an ex with a very similar name before (not while we were having sex). I even had two weird incidents after sex where I've called two different girlfriends "Ma," which I only call my mother. So I don't think that slipping and calling someone out of their name so crazy. But to do it over and over again and not realize doesn't really make sense.

I would ask him what he was saying. You say it was quiet moaning, so I'm hoping you misheard him. Maybe he was saying "Jesus" or some incoherent sounds of pleasure that you misunderstood.

[Little Lotte]

Thank you for you reply. Yes, Ben does bring me to orgasm, though I usually do climax very quickly. I do enjoy making love to him, but I'm just a little frightend of not pleasuring him right, so hearing him say someone elses name was like...woah.
I'm absolutley fine with him thinking of other things whilst he's pleasuring himself, that doesn't bother me. But the fact he was joined with me, just really hurt.
Thank you for your reply, I'm going to try and talk to him about it today!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks, I understand what you are saying. I used those words appropriately. Forum Filters have a valid purpose which is to help prevent people from attacking\insulting each other, and\or to be unnecessarily vulgar, which I fully agree with and support. I did not use those words in a manner that would be considered abuse, and in general most people will not be offended by reading what I posted. This is an adult forum so we can expect people to be OK with adult language being used in the proper adult\responsible\restrained context.

Hi Lisa, BG is one of our valued long term members and she knows our rules very well

We actually have girls as young as 13 on this Forum, and many, many young ladies that don't join but read.. So we do view this seriously and consequently, we have put in filters so that any word our Admin, Little feels is in-appropriate due to age or the type of Forum we have created is filtered. Going around the filter is not accepted ....

I get what you are referring to but yes, you can say "WITCH" and trust me, I am known to be one, witch that is ....

Thanks.

CW

[LisaW1991]

OK, I'll respect the rule.

I just don't think I was using the words inappropriately. Both words can be heard in Primetime TV, so I wasn't exactly using four letter words as if I have potty mouth, and I wasn't directly them at someone as means to attack\insult them. I was using them in context of this topic, which is an adult topic. Filters serve a purpose because moderators can't read every post to determine if hot button words are being used to cause problems, but that shouldn't mean responsible adults can't use their discretion when using specific examples. Saying "he called me a naughty girl" is not the same thing "He called me a ********"

I guess I am saying it seems to be a bit of a contradiction to not allow acceptable words that come up during sex, and are not offensive to the majority, when there are adult specific discussions of sex of what people do during sex.