[taj]

My sister is allowing me to have an affair with her husband, As I stated In a previous post.
I regularly find myself craving sex almost daily sometimes more than once.
Am I being selfish by trying keeping him to myself?
I am pretty sure my sister is also satisfied, however it seems like I get him first, mostly because I can work from home, and get to meet him during the day... He is self-employed and can work whenever he wants. Sister only in the evenings. However they spend almost every weekend together and I am alone. I am sure if I ask for weekends that would not be a problem, As we have spent a few weekends together. My sister is a freak and is turned on by knowing about our relationship and sometimes by watching us.
Should I deprive myself a few times during the week so my sister might get or have a better time with him?
My biggest problem is that I have fallen in love with him again. When my sister wanted to try the three-way I had promised myself that is all it would be.
Then the affair started and I told myself that it would be just sexual. Sometimes I just get so depressed because I can't have him to myself and he is with my sister but when we are together I'm the happiest person. The problem with divorces it would probably hurt my parents so much. My dad's health is not that great. I have not even told him about my marital problems or situations.
How should I handle this?

[rcoreyus]

Arrangements between consenting adults are fine, as long as no one is in any way being deceived. It is important though that people also do not deceive themselves. I have no moral objections to you having sex with your sister's husband if they both agree, and unless she has given some indication that she wants you to to it less often, that is OK too.

But - what is really important is whether you are deceiving yourself. Your sister and husband seem to view this as purely sexual play -which is fine. You though seem to want a relationship, and that is REAL trouble. You want her husband not just for sex, but for something more. You want their marriage to end. These are completely natural feelings, and they are exactly the reason why I think that open relationships are not a good idea for most people. Most people are not able to have sex without developing a strong emotional attachment.

I think that you need to get out of this arrangement. Just let them know that you enjoyed it, and love them both, but that sex without a permanent relationship just isn't working for you. Then find someone else.

[taj]

Arrangements between consenting adults are fine, as long as no one is in any way being deceived. It is important though that people also do not deceive themselves. I have no moral objections to you having sex with your sister's husband if they both agree, and unless she has given some indication that she wants you to to it less often, that is OK too.

But - what is really important is whether you are deceiving yourself. Your sister and husband seem to view this as purely sexual play -which is fine. You though seem to want a relationship, and that is REAL trouble. You want her husband not just for sex, but for something more. You want their marriage to end. These are completely natural feelings, and they are exactly the reason why I think that open relationships are not a good idea for most people. Most people are not able to have sex without developing a strong emotional attachment.

I think that you need to get out of this arrangement. Just let them know that you enjoyed it, and love them both, but that sex without a permanent relationship just isn't working for you. Then find someone else.

Thanks for the advice! There is no deception. If my sister asks, I'm very open and tell her the truth... In some weird way if she finds out that I had sex with her husband, she wants to have sex with him asap. A few times she has watched us, then had sex with him.. I don't watch them. I can't for the life of me figure this part out. It's definitely sexual play for my sister, but I think semi-sexual play for the husband, since we did have a relationship a while back. I don't really want their marriage to end.. I do care about my sister.

I guess sometimes I feel guilty that he has had sex with me, which I usually initiate by asking him to come home during lunch, etc, then my sister gets him in the evening, if she desires... I know this situation can not last long, and will have to end. I just need to get the courage to end it.

[jns]

This would have been best posted under a combined thread with the other threads from the same OP. I answered in another of the threads.

[Palerider]

In some weird way if she finds out that I had sex with her husband, she wants to have sex with him asap. A few times she has watched us, then had sex with him.. I don't watch them. I can't for the life of me figure this part out. It's definitely sexual play for my sister, but I think semi-sexual play for the husband, since we did have a relationship a while back.

There's not much to figure out. She gets turned on by the idea of another woman having sex with her husband. While we've never carried this out in practice, my husband gets very turned on by the idea of me having sex with another man.

[taj]

There's not much to figure out. She gets turned on by the idea of another woman having sex with her husband. While we've never carried this out in practice, my husband gets very turned on by the idea of me having sex with another man.

That's what it seems like. But it's a weird concept to me.
I can even understand the 3 way, or may be 1 or 2 times watching, but she likes to watch
regularly, or even have sex with him right after I did... That is not a turn on for me..
I can't do the same, watch or have sex with him after he's had sex with her.
It's a turn off for me.

[jns]

It may be that she is turned on by watching her husband perform, including seeing his muscles work, his body move and various parts tightened. By the time you two are done, she is so worked up she wants sex right away while those visuals are fresh in her mind.

There is a lot of difference between performing sex and watching sex. While performing, a person cannot always get a great view of what they are doing with their partner. If watching turns them on, they could have a reaction similar to your sister.

[taj]

It may be that she is turned on by watching her husband perform, including seeing his muscles work, his body move and various parts tightened. By the time you two are done, she is so worked up she wants sex right away while those visuals are fresh in her mind.

There is a lot of difference between performing sex and watching sex. While performing, a person cannot always get a great view of what they are doing with their partner. If watching turns them on, they could have a reaction similar to your sister.

That's pretty much it with her... It shows that on her face and her body...

[CoolBreeze]

Just saw your thread. From what I have read you all seem to be consenting adults mutually enjoying each other. Don't hold any guilts and enjoy it to the max while it lasts. You will cherish these memories for ever.

[LisaW1991]

In general I think its OK because its between concenting adults. My concern would be that if things change someone involve could get hurt, and that would just make it complicated for everyone. Risk vs reward.