[winker]

I found out my husband has been masterbating daily and watching porn. I think he is addicted to porn. When we get together and try to have intercourse, he is not able to come in me. I think it is from his addiction, but he says it is a medical problem. He thinks I should accept this, but I feel very hurt. I am 62 and he is 63 and we have been married for 43 years so we have been together for a long time. I love him, but I don't think I can accept it. Please give me any insight you can.

[rcoreyus]

Opinions will vary on this, but my feelings: If he is turning you down for sex and watching porn / masturbating, then that is a big problem. On the other hand if he is willing to have sex with you most of the time when you want, then I'm less concerned. If he wants sex more often than you do, then I don't have a problem with him using porn / masturbation for release.

This is a bit more complicated because you are probably right that his masturbating is preventing him from ejaculating with you. Here it depends on how important that part of sex is to you. For some women, if their partner is good to them in bed, and is enjoying himself, it wouldn't matter if they ejaculate. For others it is very important.

Have you suggested that when he fells like watching porn, you are available instead?

[Stillness]

Can you say why this hurts you? You say that you "try to have intercourse." Does that mean that you're unsuccessful? Is it that you feel devalued because your husband is viewing other women naked?

[PhrendlyPhil]

See my response to: "My Fiance doesn't have sex with me anymore. HELP!!" If you love him and wish to rekindle your sex life you'll have to help wean him off the porn/masturbation and bring him back to ejaculating inside you. It will take some time and mutual cooperation but with 43 years invested don't you think it's worth the effort?

[jns]

Does he have erectile dysfunction? Porn brings novel situations that can cause a greater response as in the Coolidge effect. Masturbation can be tailored to locations, pressures and speeds that work. I agree with PP. Try sexy visual views of you to help get him turned on. Possibly something like Viagra could help. Maybe even something like a penis ring.

[muffin70]

while I think that porn is harmless - if he is watching it daily and masturbating to it, then he has a problem.
maybe you could 'interrupt' one of his porn sessions and give him a blow job / hand job - or even better bend over in front of him and ask him top take you doggy style there and then while he has an erection.
If he doesn't take kindly to your advances and would rather watch porn that have sex with you - then he has a real problem

[muffin70]

while I think that porn is harmless - if he is watching it daily and masturbating to it, then he has a problem.
maybe you could 'interrupt' one of his porn sessions and give him a blow job / hand job - or even better bend over in front of him and ask him to take you doggy style there and then while he has an erection.
If he doesn't take kindly to your advances and would rather watch porn that have sex with you - then he has a real problem

[Obelisk]

Porn is not harmless.

I can honestly say that for me, porn has never been an addiction. I find most of it pretty far out wacky and on the border of comedy (or disgusting, depending on what it is)

I only even know about it because I used to have to spend 2hrs to find a tasteful clip that was actually erotic to me, while discarding all the stupid gonzo stuff.

With that said, the first time I had sex I couldn't come. The girl has a smoking hot body, but I had trained my mind to come by visual, and actually doing it with her pretty much had my face to hers. I couldn't see her body, and that took away from the effect to me.

I had to completely stop watching porn for a week to be able to come with her, and had to focus on how different the experience was with a real woman.

This is from a guy not addicted at all. I feel for the men who are addicted.

[Trisha23]

he is not addicted to porn like what you think,some men, when they get matured they are more imaginative and likes to explore at their very age...he loves you and he proved it to you for so long...
let him be..

[kira]

Not being able to come inside a woman is actually quite common in men whether they watch porn or not. My husband is borderline ED and sometimes no matter how long we try or what we do he can't finish. Masturbation though is entirely different to a vagina and more pressure can be applied as well as often more speed. Porn just goes along with that. It's not an addiction it really is a medical problem. He's not saying he doesn't want sex with you or using porn in place of sex. He's trying to have sex and it's not working because he's too used to masturbation.

I find most of it pretty far out wacky and on the border of comedy (or disgusting, depending on what it is)

mainstream porn sucks. It's stupid. I'd never bother with porn that requires paying and uses actors. Far better is the amateur porn which is a lot more real and less weird. Or as weird as you want it depending what you're in to.