Hi -- I'm 43 y.o. straight woman. Very sensual person, love kissing, touching, orgasm easily during masturbation, long for penetrative sex, but it has always been painful. About 10 years ago, I told my doctor who thought I might have endometriosis -- got that checked and all normal. The problem is that the penis hits my cervix and it hurts like hell. I've been to sex therapists who suggested different positions; suggested I might not be aroused enough; finally I asked another Dr. if I have a short vagina and she said "yes", and the "helpful" advice I received was to try different positions. I don't know how many times I've heard that :-) I've tried many positions and while it may feel OK for a little while, if he moves 1/8" the wrong way, it's zing! Therefore, of course, I cannot relax and I most certainly cannot orgasm (which I would LOVE to do). I am 43 years old and I haven't been very active in my life, but active enough for my brain to equate penetrative sex with pain. I am now single and I REALLY want to figure this out because I need to get back on the dating scene, but I feel like a fraud. Men find me sexy; women find my sexy. I FEEL sensual and sexy, but the reality of the bedroom is that it's always disappointing and now extremely disheartening.
What I WANT: I want my partner to be able to experience the pleasure of being able to thrust deep, without holding back, without hurting me. For me, I want to be able to let go and not worry about pain. I also want to be able to hold my value as a lover, even if the pain continues... this is MUCH harder.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS I'VE DREAMED UP: 1) There MUST be such a thing as jelly rings like those found on the toddler Fisher Price ring toy, that could be put around the penis to prevent deep penetration, but would allow him to feel as though he were going deep. The Fisher Price ones would hurt, I think (though I've thought about trying it with the phantom boyfriend), but some manufacturer somewhere must make something of softer material. I also think that the ring itself would stimulate my clitoris and entire area and that seems a bonus. 2) Surgery???? 3) OTHER IDEAS SO VERY WELCOME! Please don't tell me to go to the gynecologist again unless you KNOW of something that they could do. I go annually for regular exam, and all is well down there, except perhaps the size. THANK YOU LADIES!
What I WANT: I want my partner to be able to experience the pleasure of being able to thrust deep, without holding back, without hurting me. For me, I want to be able to let go and not worry about pain. I also want to be able to hold my value as a lover, even if the pain continues... this is MUCH harder.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS I'VE DREAMED UP: 1) There MUST be such a thing as jelly rings like those found on the toddler Fisher Price ring toy, that could be put around the penis to prevent deep penetration, but would allow him to feel as though he were going deep. The Fisher Price ones would hurt, I think (though I've thought about trying it with the phantom boyfriend), but some manufacturer somewhere must make something of softer material. I also think that the ring itself would stimulate my clitoris and entire area and that seems a bonus. 2) Surgery???? 3) OTHER IDEAS SO VERY WELCOME! Please don't tell me to go to the gynecologist again unless you KNOW of something that they could do. I go annually for regular exam, and all is well down there, except perhaps the size. THANK YOU LADIES!
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