Hello everyone.....
I am new here. My desperation has led me to scour the internet in hopes to find help.......
I am forty seven years old , my wife is thirty four years old. We have been together for thirteen years. almost immediately into our relationship I was in a severe car accident that left me with severe brain damage. For several years it went misdiagnosed as mania. During those four or five years, I tortured my wife with violence both verbal & physical. FINALLY, I was correctly diagnosed with brain damage stemming from the car accident. It effected the right hemisphere & frontal lobe. ( where the impulses for violence etc... were effected). Once they took me off the wrong medication & treated me properly it was as if a light switch went on. I was the old me. Little by little my wife started to tell me of the horrible things I did to her and everyone....
I needed to give that background information to help you understand the ongoing situation:
Since 2005, I have been properly treated for my injury I have made a concerted effort to make it up to my wife for everything I put her through.... We love each other very much, however she holds me accountable for my past actions. While I try very hard to make up for the past, she says "I am perfect now in every way" and we are perfect together in every way EXCEPT, the bedroom. She tells me she is not attracted to me at all sexually and that she has no desire to be with me. While she has never & would never deny me sex, she knows I would never be with her while she feels this way. When we try to make love, I see how she is reacting during the lovemaking. She rubs her head as if to get the sun out of her eyes. She looks "beyond" me & when she does engage eye to eye she makes a fake smile. I have to practically pry her legs open. She truly does try to "be there " but I can tell she doesn't want me.... As a result I quickly lose my manhood & stop....... Time after time it goes on this way. I end up going down stairs, alone to reflect. I have given up on sleeping in bed with her years ago because it hurts too much to lay next to her & not be able to touch her ..... Foreplay of any kind is off limits. I want to please her in every way, however she denies me the chance to. She tells me I am too wrapped up in her (obsessed) She says that I love her too much & that it is unhealthy for me.
It has gotten so bad that I have been getting jealous of the affection she gives to our dog.... Wishing it was me that she was caressing & kissing.
I am new here. My desperation has led me to scour the internet in hopes to find help.......
I am forty seven years old , my wife is thirty four years old. We have been together for thirteen years. almost immediately into our relationship I was in a severe car accident that left me with severe brain damage. For several years it went misdiagnosed as mania. During those four or five years, I tortured my wife with violence both verbal & physical. FINALLY, I was correctly diagnosed with brain damage stemming from the car accident. It effected the right hemisphere & frontal lobe. ( where the impulses for violence etc... were effected). Once they took me off the wrong medication & treated me properly it was as if a light switch went on. I was the old me. Little by little my wife started to tell me of the horrible things I did to her and everyone....
I needed to give that background information to help you understand the ongoing situation:
Since 2005, I have been properly treated for my injury I have made a concerted effort to make it up to my wife for everything I put her through.... We love each other very much, however she holds me accountable for my past actions. While I try very hard to make up for the past, she says "I am perfect now in every way" and we are perfect together in every way EXCEPT, the bedroom. She tells me she is not attracted to me at all sexually and that she has no desire to be with me. While she has never & would never deny me sex, she knows I would never be with her while she feels this way. When we try to make love, I see how she is reacting during the lovemaking. She rubs her head as if to get the sun out of her eyes. She looks "beyond" me & when she does engage eye to eye she makes a fake smile. I have to practically pry her legs open. She truly does try to "be there " but I can tell she doesn't want me.... As a result I quickly lose my manhood & stop....... Time after time it goes on this way. I end up going down stairs, alone to reflect. I have given up on sleeping in bed with her years ago because it hurts too much to lay next to her & not be able to touch her ..... Foreplay of any kind is off limits. I want to please her in every way, however she denies me the chance to. She tells me I am too wrapped up in her (obsessed) She says that I love her too much & that it is unhealthy for me.
It has gotten so bad that I have been getting jealous of the affection she gives to our dog.... Wishing it was me that she was caressing & kissing.
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