[nanspants]

So I’ve been in a relationship w/ my bf for almost 2 years now. When we were first dating, our hook-ups were hot and passionate and all but were missing one thing I love most – oral. When I brought up his lack of performing oral, he said he would do it but admitted he doesn’t prefer to, and seemed insecure about his competency at it. At this point, we thought our relationship had an expiration date because he was set to move halfway across the country before we were even involved. But I remember thinking then that this would be a deal-breaker if we were pursuing a long term relationship.

Fast forward a year later, turns out we can’t quit each other, we’re all in love, he moves back to the area and now we discuss spending the rest of our lives together. However, still doesn’t perform oral. We’ve discussed it a handful of times and each time he expresses reluctance but states he would do it to please me; however has only done it once. He did it briefly the first day we saw each other when he moved back (which also happened to be my birthday, last November), but hasn’t attempted since, though I’ve mentioned it since. I keep waiting for it to happen, but at this point I don’t even feel comfortable with him doing it, because I know that he isn’t really into it, which is part of the thrill. The one time he attempted, I cut it off short because I felt self-conscious.

I, on the other hand, love performing oral, and do so for him (though admittedly not as much as I have in past relationships, because he can’t come from head, which therefore makes the task feel futile and makes me feel incompetent). I’ve only been in relationships where the guy was very enthusiastic about eating out, they truly seemed to enjoy it. I previously considered a couple’s willingness to perform oral on each other as an indication of a loving and caring relationship due to the selflessness of the act. Therefore, this belief clashes with my current relationship. I don’t really doubt that my bf loves me, he shows me in many other ways that he likes to make me happy and cares about me. And our sex life is great otherwise - it’s passionate, animalistic, sensual, he has a great penis, etc

But still, this situation 1) makes me feel self-conscious about down there, I feel like he must be grossed out by being up close and personal down there. 2) plants tiny seeds of doubt into the strength of our relationship. Why doesn’t my bf try? Does he not care about pleasing me? Am I placing too much value on this? Is it silly that I’m genuinely saddened that he doesn’t feel as passionate about giving oral as I am? Does anybody else feel uncomfortable receiving half-hearted oral? I know there is a plethora of people (men and women) out there who don’t like giving it, but I’m guessing most people enjoy receiving it, so how does that work?

This relationship is the most committed I’ve ever been (I’m in my late 20s) but the prospect of never getting eaten out again actually provokes commitment-phobia. I’ve even considered bringing a woman into our sex life just so I can get eaten out, though I doubt I am ready for that.

[rcoreyus]

I can see that its frustrating. It probably has nothing to do with you, and maybe nothing to do with your relationship, but is just a hang-up he has. You need to decide how important this is to you.

I'm a guy. I enjoy giving my wife oral - like watching and feeling her reactions (though she doesn't like to orgasm this way for some reason). On the other hand she really hates giving me oral even though it is about my favorite thing. She will do it as a birthday present, but that is about it. Strangely the rest of our sex life is excellent. It is really frustrating, seems like a small thing to ask - but some people just really don't like it.

He isn't likely to change - only you know if this is important enough to you to be a deal breaker.

[BranstonPickle92]

I have never been in a relationship where i guy wouldnt go down on me and i reckon it would be a deal breaker - saying that - if i found out he hated it after falling for him - i guess id put up with it..

Anyways... what might be an idea is to figure out why he doesnt like doing it, is it that he thinks hes doing it wrong? or he doesnt like the taste/smell? only once you know exactly WHY, you can actually try and get around it.

i love giving oral to my boyfriend, but my previous partners penis was huuuuge and i couldnt do it for longer than about 2/3 mins cos my jaw started hurting - i know that my current partner loves giving me oral but his tongue gets tired quickly and hurts which he hates - it could be something like that?

Like i said - until you know the exact reason why he hates it, you cant try and work to sort it out.

[kira]

Some people just don't like giving oral. I think giving oral to a woman sounds absolutely disgusting and I don't know why any guy enjoys it. I will only give oral right after a shower because I have very sensitive smell and taste and after a guy has worn pants all day even in cool weather there is old sweat and sometimes a slight urine smell down there. I'm happy to give oral if you wash immediately first.

[Obelisk]

I'll give you my honest opinion.

Everytime I've given a woman oral, I've gotten strep throat. The first time I thought I caught an std and scared crapless went to get a full std panel done. Came clean. It was just old time strep. Had to take antibiotics every single time.

I am now weary of giving oral, even though I love the pleasure a woman gets from it. I actually have a plan of attack for the next time I get the opportunity to please a woman like that:

1. I got myself a stack of these Probiotic chewing gums that have a strep fighting "BLIS K12" probiotic in them.
2. I will carry a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash with me and gargle right after my oral session.

Hopefully I can stop blasted strep to keep on hitting me, because I want to give the woman in my life the pleasure of oral.

It's funny because I get nothing from bj's and could care less if I get one or not.

[happygolucky90]

My boyfriend is the same way, except he never initiates sex ontop of rarely ever giving oral... When he has, it's never long enough to get me off... So I feel your pain sister :/ this world needs to evolve faster... A women doesn't just need to please a man anymore... Road goes both ways; or should at least.

[jns]

I believe guys can be split into two camps, those who are enthusiastic about oral and those who are not. Some guys seem to give oral to get the girl roped in and then stop. I put them in the second camp.

As a person who loves to give oral to a lady, I am not put off by a minor taste or smell of urine or sweat at the beginning. In small doses, such things are aphrodisiacs. It sounds strange, but for me it is true. Once you start, you lose sensitivity to such things. Further, later on those tastes and smells will help you remember that occasion.

[hot amy]

I cannot think why any female would not want her partner to give her oral. If it given immediate prior to sexual intercourse it is a most welcome event.
I like giving it and receiving it. I love it when it cums into my mouth. and I swallow, I find it a slightly salty taste but pleasant. I think is a thing you should reseve for your lover really and not keep for husbands or partners.

[happygolucky90]

Any updates?

[jen1447]

My boyfriend is the same way, except he never initiates sex ontop of rarely ever giving oral... When he has, it's never long enough to get me off... So I feel your pain sister :/ this world needs to evolve faster... A women doesn't just need to please a man anymore... Road goes both ways; or should at least.

Oh my god, this post wins the entire forum, hands down. How did I miss it the first time? I would like it 10 times over if I could. :P

This sort of thing drives me crazy. First of all, assuming the lady takes care of herself like she should, every man should adore her vagina. I really think that not liking it must amount to some other bizarre hangup like a fear of moisture or something, it's so baffling. How could you not love your woman's most sacred and intimate place, the source of her most intense physical pleasure which you have the honor of giving her? Second, okay, let's assume for a moment you just don't like it. Learn to like it! It's not like anyone's asking you to go on a mining expedition in a septic field. It's a vagina, for god's sake! Third, let's assume the unbelievable and that you just don't like vaginas and will never be able to make yourself like them. Go down on her anyway! Do you realize how happy this will make her? If that's not enough for you then you've got a lot of growing up to do and maybe a real relationship with a real woman is something you should put off trying until you can get your mind around the reality that people give and people take and that's how they make each other happy. If all you do is take and you can't bring yourself to spend some quality time between her thighs - just to make her happy and for no other reason - then shame on you. She deserves better.

Okay, my rant is done. Ladies, if any of you need to shame your man into behaving himself for your vagina's sake, feel free to make him read this post!