[effy2014]

There are toxic people in every family. I am just sorry that I has to be your brother's wife. No need to go into the gory details, just wanted to give you "non-fix it" empathy.

In an entirely different (and non-sexual) manner, my SO's brother's wife is the toxic one. She won't "let" her husband (yes, I know, it is equally his fault) see his mother or her grandchildren see their grandmother. Mom is in failing health and has not seen her son for 5 years. She cries about it often. I will never understand it.

[Something_Awesome]

Men suck at choosing partners. Women are better at it. It's unfortunate because guys usually make the first move, and thus, the selecting. Of course the woman can turn the guy down, but he is going to keep going for the wrong woman until he succeeds.

Edit: I don't mean guys choose bad women, I mean we often end up selecting one we may not be too compatible with, ie the wrong woman.

[effy2014]

Men suck at choosing partners. Women are better at it. It's unfortunate because guys usually make the first move, and thus, the selecting. Of course the woman can turn the guy down, but he is going to keep going for the wrong woman until he succeeds.

Most young people suck at it . . . men and women. You and I have responded to a myriad of threads that show that women are no better. Men seem to be worse because we tend to think with the smaller head most of the time -- a pretty face and nice body seem to be all that we are after. As we age, both men and women start to realize what is important to them. Heck, it took me 2 years of therapy at 45 to have my life epiphany.

Your brother "loves" SAGF because she is beautiful, confident and in love with SA. Sis in law hates SAGF because she can't hate her husband . . . SAGF has done nothing wrong but be herself. Both brother and sis in law need to learn the proper way to act in public.

[jen1447]

Your brother "loves" SAGF because she is beautiful, confident and in love with SA. Sis in law hates SAGF because she can't hate her husband . . . SAGF has done nothing wrong but be herself. Both brother and sis in law need to learn the proper way to act in public.

That was pretty awesome.

[Motorguy]

Hijacking this topic because what I have to say doesn't deserve its own thread, and I need to vent. And it's so weird that such a post appeared on this forum on this night of all nights.

Had a family gathering today and it ended very awkwardly between me, my GF, my brother (9 years older), and my brother's wife (sister-in-law). I know my brother is very sexually attracted to my GF, and that's fine. It's an involuntary response and I honestly could not give a rip. However, I also feel resentment from him and his wife towards my GF and I. This also does not help the fact that my sister-in-law and I butt heads often. I am not judgmental and am extremely easy going, but trust me when I say she is a disgusting human being. She unjustifiably criticizes my GF (like what she was wearing today, which looked amazing), and I feel like she is trying to get my GF to break up with me.

My sister-in-law also squeezed my GF's butt today (this is as close as it gets to being on topic). This action was probanly fueled by jealousy and wanted to know if maybe it felt the way it looked?

A huge rift has been forming between my brother and I and I think it all has to do with my GF because I think she has had a negative impact on their marriage. I just don't know what initiated the rift, though I have an idea (three possibilities). My bro's wife is jealous of my GF? My bro is jealous of me because I am not going to end up with someone as vile as his wife? My sister-in-law resents my bro because she notices that he is attracted to my GF?

There is more to the story but it's late (and it's a very interesting one). It ended with me arguing with my sister-in-law and my GF crying on the ride home (she is not good with confrontations)

Thanks for the outlet!

Well my feeling on this would stay way of your brother and his wife it's exactly what is happening here. Your brother is pushing that brother pack with you the best is to simple stay away period. I know it's hard to do and simple to say that but for your relationship between your GF and your self to get stronger. From what I read you really do love her she loves you too. I wish you luck in your relationship with your GF she seem to be a beautiful and fun lovely women don't must that up or allow your bother or wife to do it either good luck.

[Motorguy]

Most young people suck at it . . . men and women. You and I have responded to a myriad of threads that show that women are no better. Men seem to be worse because we tend to think with the smaller head most of the time -- a pretty face and nice body seem to be all that we are after. As we age, both men and women start to realize what is important to them. Heck, it took me 2 years of therapy at 45 to have my life epiphany.

Your brother "loves" SAGF because she is beautiful, confident and in love with SA. Sis in law hates SAGF because she can't hate her husband . . . SAGF has done nothing wrong but be herself. Both brother and sis in law need to learn the proper way to act in public.

Well sometimes some of us do get lucky and find are soul mate. Not many have this luck but I was one of those lucky ones. I always wonder my wife could have found a better guy but she chose me not that other guy as we would never want anything differently to happen.

[Something_Awesome]

Your brother "loves" SAGF because she is beautiful, confident and in love with SA. Sis in law hates SAGF because she can't hate her husband . . . SAGF has done nothing wrong but be herself. Both brother and sis in law need to learn the proper way to act in public.

Sounds like a poem! But I gotta say, you freakin' nailed it! That is exactly how it is.

To be fair to my brother, he enlisted in the Navy at 20 to get away from the family. He struggled coping/adapting. He felt alone and home sick etc. Which also why he eloped at like 21 with his current wife. He married her out of desperation and need, and she hit the jackpot. I know he regrets it now, but he can't divorce her because that would mean he was wrong and the whole family was right (they all dislike her). All he does is try to convince everyone how great she is. His wife also tells everyone how great she is.

I am dead serious when I say my bro's wife is just disgusting. I try to find one admirable quality in her and I can't. I will say that she (bro's wife) did help me notice how amazingly composed my GF can remain in public when interacting with someone as offensive as my bro's wife for extended periods of time. It's hot. I am going to text that to my GF right now. That I think it's hot how just remains all lady-like when being offended by my bro's wife.

Excuse typos. On my phone and pressed for time!

[atskitty2]

Wait, back up...this SIL, who openly disrespects & dislikes sagf squeezed her ***? In what context did this possibly come about? And what did your gf do?

Secondly, and maybe I mistake the vibe going on at that time, but I'm not inclined to think it very ladylike and endearing for sagf or any woman to be openly offended and dissed and stand there and take it.
I understand she's probably trying to make a sweet impression on your fam, but she should stand up for herself.

That is what sil needs, a good putting in her place...

Maybe I've misunderstood completely the scenario, and forgive me if that's so. You haven't given all details, I realize, but it seems to me sagf needs to assert herself and not accept this type of treatment.

[Something_Awesome]

Atskitty, you're very sharp . I've left out a couple details for the sake of condensing the story. SIL (thanks for the acronym) will act sweet to my GF and then kick her in the face. She is cunning about being mean. Even her compliments can be coated ill-will. If she acts nice to you, and then criticizes you, it gives her harsh (and often unfounded) criticisms credibility. It makes it seem like she never meant to be mean, because she was nice a moment ago. Get it? It's also a defense to her bi_tchyness.

Now I didn't see the butt squeeze, but my GF said she did it in an endearing way. However, I know my SIL very well and I know she did it just to see if her jealousy was justified. My SIL isn't just jealous of my GF's looks or anything like that. Actually, that may be the smallest part. She is jealous because my family is repulsed by her and they adore my GF, and THAT must be tough to swallow. Though the SIL was bi_tchy well before my GF came along. When I get home tonight, I will say an awful thing she did to my mom (RIP) they day she was to meet her.

[jen1447]

I find myself on both sides of that fence - SAGF should definitely stick up for herself (it's cool that you defended her by the sound but she shouldn't have to rely on you), but at the same time I see how poise and riding above the fray can be hot like you say.