[Fallen1]

If I may play devil's advocate for a moment I would like to lob a few ideas into the discussion.

According to UK statistics 2 million vibrators were sold into the UK market during the year 2000. That is about one vibrator for every 10 women of an age to use one. While I have no data on the typical lifespan of a vibrator it is fair to assume that at least half of all UK women have one and that their use is not confined to solo use by women without a partner and partner play for couples. Shouldn't we have some men here complaining about what is clearly a lot of female self satisfaction going on?

Very interesting point!

But then again it's also possible that many of these females have to satisfy themselves because their men are busy masturbating ..... shrug ..... just another way to look at it.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

[misskitty3]

my two cents

even though i'm not fond of my husband's self-satisfaction desires, i have come to terms with it. sometimes he does it out of boredom, sometimes if he can't sleep (so he says), and sometimes because of the need to do it.

honestly, if i had as much alone time as he does, i would probably be doing the same thing. and it has nothing to do with not wanting/liking partner activity.

so, it all depends on how you look at it. i always try to see it from the other side. like i said, if it were me doing it, it wouldn't be because i'm not satisfied.

[SorridLives]

Very interesting point!

But then again it's also possible that many of these females have to satisfy themselves because their men are busy masturbating ..... shrug ..... just another way to look at it.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

ROFLOL! So true!

[SorridLives]

even though i'm not fond of my husband's self-satisfaction desires, i have come to terms with it. sometimes he does it out of boredom, sometimes if he can't sleep (so he says), and sometimes because of the need to do it.

honestly, if i had as much alone time as he does, i would probably be doing the same thing. and it has nothing to do with not wanting/liking partner activity.

so, it all depends on how you look at it. i always try to see it from the other side. like i said, if it were me doing it, it wouldn't be because i'm not satisfied.

I agree with you 100%! Boredom has something to do with it. It seems being alone and bored is a prime time. And, yes, I would do it too, sometimes!

[SorridLives]

If I may play devil's advocate for a moment I would like to lob a few ideas into the discussion.

According to UK statistics 2 million vibrators were sold into the UK market during the year 2000. That is about one vibrator for every 10 women of an age to use one. While I have no data on the typical lifespan of a vibrator it is fair to assume that at least half of all UK women have one and that their use is not confined to solo use by women without a partner and partner play for couples. Shouldn't we have some men here complaining about what is clearly a lot of female self satisfaction going on?

Good point. Us women do it too. When I am concerned, it is mostly about what he is thinking about during....or should I say *who* he is thinking about. But he tells me he isn't thinking of anyone...maybe me sometimes- Body parts- Faceless people. It has given me some insecurities or fed my insecurity at times. It's my problem. I have been working on getting over it. I guess it (maturbation) is the same for him as it is for me.....nothing to worry about.

[C]

On an earlier post I said that I was not sure about my husband masturbating. I was aware in earlier years in our marriage of his having a wet dream but never saw nor was aware of his masturbating. So today I asked him. It is funny as this was the first time I had ever asked him something like this. I kind of hesitated at first but then went to it. That was the old me holding back....Asked him, honey, have you ever masturbated to cool your tools. He looked at me and laughed and said NO. You have always been enough woman for me and I never have done that.

This is what I thought but until I asked him I was not sure. It is not that I am any more woman than anyone else it is that the two of us fell in love and became sexual with living in an era without Porn. I became his Porn and back then things were just so hot that it just wasn't needed.

I am older but despite this I would never want to relive my life again. I grew up in a place of love and respect for a woman and just about each home that I visited and friend that I knew had a special pedestal for the wife. We were something so special and treated our man like a God. I don't see this anymore so I will just take the age and my life behind me. All in the new ways of the world....

[gyrator53]

Very interesting point!

But then again it's also possible that many of these females have to satisfy themselves because their men are busy masturbating ..... shrug ..... just another way to look at it.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

The thing I find fascinating about this is that, while there is clearly a lot of both male and female masturbation going on, from the postings on this site and elsewhere it is clear that male masturbation causes much angst among the ladies while men would seem less disturbed by their womenfolk having it away with machinery . I can't find a post anywhere where a guy is going through mental torture because he keeps finding dead batteries in the trash or that the washing machine is always set to "fast spin only" . And this is strange because an imbalance of sexual desires with the man needing more than his partner is often something that crops up. Of course we are always told that if a woman gets a good orgasm from a vibrator she will actually want sex more but is it really true or are the menfolk being sold a dummy on this one?

[Fallen1]

The thing I find fascinating about this is that, while there is clearly a lot of both male and female masturbation going on, from the postings on this site and elsewhere it is clear that male masturbation causes much angst among the ladies while men would seem less disturbed by their womenfolk having it away with machinery . I can't find a post anywhere where a guy is going through mental torture because he keeps finding dead batteries in the trash or that the washing machine is always set to "fast spin only" . And this is strange because an imbalance of sexual desires with the man needing more than his partner is often something that crops up. Of course we are always told that if a woman gets a good orgasm from a vibrator she will actually want sex more but is it really true or are the menfolk being sold a dummy on this one?

Unless I have misunderstood or missed something, I have interpreted the threads here where the women are upset/hurt is because it seems to them that their husband or boyfriend prefers to masturbate when they (women) are ready, willing, and able - they just don't understand why, if they are willing and wanting that their men may choose it over having sex with them.

[gyrator53]

Unless I have misunderstood or missed something, I have interpreted the threads here where the women are upset/hurt is because it seems to them that their husband or boyfriend prefers to masturbate when they (women) are ready, willing, and able - they just don't understand why, if they are willing and wanting that their men may choose it over having sex with them.

I think my earlier point about the degree to which the women might or might not take the active role in initiating sex may have a bearing. There is a world of difference for the man to have a partner that actively initiates sex and drives the thing along and a partner with a more passive "that's nice dear but please pull my nightie down when you've finished" kind of passive acceptance of sex when it is initiated by the man.

I can fully understand how a man presented endlessly with a partner who is a willing to accept sex at a frequency that he needs but is never really the active initiator of sex might well turn to masturbation a) because sex with a passive partner is not very erotic and is even slightly insulting and b) because by extending the interval between sex sessions he may find himself having sex with a partner that is, at last, hungry for sex - a vastly more erotic and fulfilling experience for him and possibly for her as well.

[Fallen1]

I think my earlier point about the degree to which the women might or might not take the active role in initiating sex may have a bearing. There is a world of difference for the man to have a partner that actively initiates sex and drives the thing along and a partner with a more passive "that's nice dear but please pull my nightie down when you've finished" kind of passive acceptance of sex when it is initiated by the man.

I can fully understand how a man presented endlessly with a partner who is a willing to accept sex at a frequency that he needs but is never really the active initiator of sex might well turn to masturbation a) because sex with a passive partner is not very erotic and is even slightly insulting and b) because by extending the interval between sex sessions he may find himself having sex with a partner that is, at last, hungry for sex - a vastly more erotic and fulfilling experience for him and possibly for her as well.

You know, that actually makes sense to me.

Along the lines of this subject - Back several months ago my boyfriend and I were in a discussion about our physical relationship and he said that he would like for me to take a more active role in initiating it rather than waiting on him. I took his advice and on multiple occasions I was the initiator and each time I was turned down for one reason or another. So the immaturity came out of me and the last time I told him that I would never try to initiate or ask again. Guess I need to rethink my stubbornness, swallow my pride and try the approach of initiating again.