[Cat Winstanley]

If you are dead set on this, it can be a most enjoyable thing. I find that if I am having a hard time reaching orgasm, anal penetration accompanied by clitoral stimulation will get me there and often times provides a more powerful orgasm.

My advice to you would be loosen up. Have a glass of wine or two.

Start with missionary and angle your pelvis up, similar to if you were trying to get g spot stimulation with vaginal penetration. Try not to just "tolerate" his finger, but enjoy it. For example, have him go down on you, and as you get closer to climax, have him penetrate you with a finger. I cannot stress enough- clitoral stimulation for the duration of any anal penetration-especially in the beginning.

Good luck, and remember if you don't want to do it, then he will just have to deal with it.

[Romy]

Thanks Jen

[Romy]

I wouldn't suggest numbing lubes, they will keep you from knowing if you are doing damage. Lots of slippery lube (go to goodvibes and see which ones are recommended for this). Start small and slowly and work your way up.

Men can be very aroused from anal because of the prostate (if they can get over the "gay" thing). For women its not clear why it works, but for some it does. Adding anal stimulation (fingers or small toy) to other things makes my wife orgasm very quickly. We only very occasionally do actual anal intercourse, unless we take a very long time she finds it uncomfortable - but again it makes her orgasm very quickly.

Have you tried small anal toys with your partner? Its possible that its just the idea of you being penetrated that is exciting to him. The actual sensation for the man isn't very different from normal intercourse.

I was of the impression that there was a big difference in sensation for the man.....apparently much much tighter.

I honestly don't get how women (or men) can orgasm through anal sex.....I am of the understanding that unless the clitoris is being stimulated then orgasm is unlikely.....

I hate the feelings that consume me when I know that not only my partner's past girlfriends loved doing anal but orgasmed as well..... I feel very inadequate and like I'm missing out on something.

[jen1447]

There was another thread on here about the ins and outs of anal pleasure ....it can be very nice, but I won't go into that again here.

I agree with you btw about the sensation for men. According to the BF it's indeed a much tighter experience (only makes sense really, the anatomies of the vagina and bum are very different). I suppose if you were very well trained in the back tho it could be similar. The desire isn't all sensation for men tho. They seem to like the idea of anal as much as doing it, something primal going on there.

[rcoreyus]

It of course depends on the person, but if you do Kegals that can be tight too. I know that while I enjoy anal with my wife occasionally, the effect is entirely psychological, it feels so similar that I can't tell for sure without looking (or listening to the sounds she makes) that that is what is going on. Remember that for this to not be painful she needs to be very relaxed, very aroused, lots of time stretching with smaller toys etc.

As far as the psychology, at least for me there is a sort of D/S component to anal. Not pain, but it has a "forbidden" aspect, the idea that she has to relax / accept it or it would be painful, and at least in our case the way it brings her to orgasm so quickly and sort of surprisingly (the noises of surprised pleasure she makes are fantastic). This would work the other way for me as well (I enjoy being dominant or submissive), but she isn't up for trying pegging me.

[jen1447]

I think I may start a pegging thread here sometime ....could make for an interesting discussion. It seems a lot of people find it rather taboo, so I hope it wouldn't be pushing the envelope too much.

[rcoreyus]

I was about to post that "anything involving consensual sex between adults should be fine on this board". Then after thinking a moment, maybe "ALMOST anything involving consensual sex between adults should be fine". ;-) Pegging though seems well within reasonable boundaries. Its interesting - male receptive anal is often viewed as "gay", but receiving oral isn't - even though that is if anything more common among gay couples.

I think I may start a pegging thread here sometime ....could make for an interesting discussion. It seems a lot of people find it rather taboo, so I hope it wouldn't be pushing the envelope too much.

[Justice]

Can I ask here though. I think it was on Dr Drew's radio shows where he frequent said that there can be a lot of negative consequences to anal. IIRC that it is less flexible and less likely to return to it's original/intended size and there can be a lot of problems including leakage and loss of control over your stools/bowels. Am I the only one who has heard this?

[rcoreyus]

There are a lot of people who do it regularly without problems. I don't know if some people do have problems. Presumably if you are rough and damage things, that is a different issue.

Can I ask here though. I think it was on Dr Drew's radio shows where he frequent said that there can be a lot of negative consequences to anal. IIRC that it is less flexible and less likely to return to it's original/intended size and there can be a lot of problems including leakage and loss of control over your stools/bowels. Am I the only one who has heard this?

[jen1447]

Well Dr. Drew's a doctor and I'm not , so take this for what it's worth, but my overall impression from the medical community in general is that it's not harmful if practiced safely. Now, I suppose that if you were a 'pro' like some women in porn who specialize in extremes, there would probably be health consequences. After all, no matter what we think of it, it's pretty obvious that physiologically it wasn't meant to do that (unlike the vagina).

I'd think too that if there were real health concerns, there would be cautions floating around out there like surgeon's general warnings saying "don't do anal!" sort of like condom advocacy.