[a_dub]

How important is race or ethnicity to you when choosing a mate? And does it depend on what type of mate it is, for example being open to anything for a random hook up, but only wanting a specific race for a long term relationship? How many of you ladies would be cool with sleeping with a brown guy (Indian) or dating one?

I'm a brown guy and while I have seen FINE women from every single race/ethnicity I'm most drawn towards white women, particularly eastern european women. I just love tan brunettes and can hardly think of anything else, lol. I also love a lot of South American women, but most of them are what everyone would think is "white" and not "hispanic" or "latina". But I do like hispanic women too. Next on the list is Persian and Arab women and also Punjabi women. Oh yeah I love Greek and Italian women too.

[Stillness]

Nice topic, a_dub. I'm already married, but what's most important to me is personality and culture - that includes religious beliefs. I don't believe in race and ethnicity doesn't matter.

[jns]

The first thing for me is personality. Some societies seem to be better at producing compatible personalities for me than others. That would make women from certain societies have a greater likelihood of being compatible, so those societies would be where I would be more likely to look. That doesn't mean that I would not look for compatible personalities amongst other women.

Some societies are made up of people mostly from a specific ethnicity and race, so by that extension, ethnicity and race has something to do with it but not directly. Sometimes people of different societies live in close proximity with people from other societies without those societies integrating and assimilating. In that case, one or several of the societies may be more likely to have compatible personalities than the other societies.

Race and ethnicity have something to do with thing such as hair color, face shape, body type, etc. I like dark hair so that would favor looking in certain groups, but not anywhere close to exclusively.

For me I would say race and ethnicity play a small, indirect role in choosing a mate.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Without a doubt, let me see ...

... Ricky Martin.
... George Clooney
... Brad Pitt
... Keith Ledger what ever his name is
... Michael Hutchinson

That's a big variety of colour and race.

A key to most women I 'think' is Charisma.

Would they marry any of the above? Depends on their honesty and personality .

I think as a young one, we are blinded by sexuality, sensuality and mating.

As an older cougar I mean woman, I think the guys are right, it boils down to a whole lot more.

[Romy]

Having married someone of a very different religion to me....I wouldn't do it again. Even though he always claimed to be an atheist, certain rituals were important to him and caused an issue with me because I'm against what was going on so for me I would look for someone with the same beliefs and religion.

[Claret]

How important is race or ethnicity to you when choosing a mate? And does it depend on what type of mate it is, for example being open to anything for a random hook up, but only wanting a specific race for a long term relationship? How many of you ladies would be cool with sleeping with a brown guy (Indian) or dating one?

I'm a brown guy and while I have seen FINE women from every single race/ethnicity I'm most drawn towards white women, particularly eastern european women. I just love tan brunettes and can hardly think of anything else, lol. I also love a lot of South American women, but most of them are what everyone would think is "white" and not "hispanic" or "latina". But I do like hispanic women too. Next on the list is Persian and Arab women and also Punjabi women. Oh yeah I love Greek and Italian women too.

Based on this I'd say you weren't drawn to certain ethnicities as much as you are to certain traits each of these women that you've listed has. I have two Persian friends and they are lighter skinned and finer featured than I am. I'm English/Welsh and Irish.

For myself, the very first thing I looked for in a man (after my failed first marriage) was a person that had a personality I could relate to. My husband is very smart, well respected, respectful, honest and truthful. He enjoyed me being me. I could go on but I don't want to give all his secrets away.

I also think an amount of physical attractiveness has to be present. I would NOT have gotten to know him if he didn't have such a killer smile, expressive eyes, infectious laugh. For me it's not ethnicity of a race, it's the type of person. If he didn't have these traits I would not have been attracted at all.

[KMonte85]

Agree with Claret on this one... I don't really look at "race" so much as I look at features of a person when determining their attractiveness. For me personally, height, nice smile, nice eyes, and a "symmetric" face have always been attractive to me. As far as race or ethnicity, I don't care about skin color, but do tend to look more towards dark hair/dark eyes.. but I've dated blondes, brunettes, redheads... even a dude with blue hair (ahh, teen angst...).

But to echo what most everyone has said, in order for me to TRULY find someone attractive beyond a superficial level, they need to have a beautiful personality above all. Smart and funny are what I look for first, and as things progress into more seriousness, I look for things like loyalty, hard working, kind... etc, etc... things that make for a good partner in life.

[kira]

I don't really have anything against dating any other race but I have not found any I was attracted to. I talked to a couple guys who weren't white but nothing ever came of it. All my boyfriends ended up being white or white looking native american which I am 1/4th native american so it's still pretty much my own race.

[a_dub]

Thats interesting. I have had a number of white women who found me attractive but its always been through websites and stuff so I don't even know if they're real people or weren't just lying to be polite. But I think a few were genuine. Its weird because I haven't met any white people in person who feel that way, or at least I haven't made a move to ask too often to find out. But my internet experience lends me to believe that if I actually asked out a bunch of white women, at least some of them would agree to go out.

I think I get less love from my own race, than white people, lol...if that makes any sense, I don't know.

[chaya]

I am a Buddhist and Japanese, I was raised in a traditional Japanese household in Hawaii. I married a Caucasian Methodist who was raised in California.

Even though I love my husband dearly, I can't help but think that life would be much easier/happier if I had married within my own ethnic/religious community. Most of the problems we have had in our marriage boil down to one thing, we don't understand each other. We both take for granted many things that the other finds illogical. I try to adjust to his ways but one thing I can't compromise on is my religion. He tries to accept my beliefs but I'm sure that deep down he still thinks I'm a heathen.