[Jaimillojaramillo]

Hi everybody, this is a guy invading your girls space, but I think there is no one better than you to help me with my problem.
I have been with my wife for almost 10 years now. We got married 5 years ago.
When we first started going out she couldn't keep her hands away from me, she wanted to have sex almost every night and she even was a bit kinky, there was always a lot of touching, massages, blow jobs, hand jobs, fingering her vagina and long foreplay which I used to love. Most guys prefer to jump straight into sex, but not me, I feel better touching a lot and giving pleasure to my wife.

After a few years of being together the sex started to slow down a bit wich I think its normal. The problem is that by the time that we got married our sex life was reduced to once maybe twice a month and now we have 2 kids and it has reduced to even less than that.
The excuses are the typical ones that you hear, Im too tired or Im too full or I have to wake up early, which is all BS because if she is so tired she would go to sleep early, like she does when she really is tired.

Any ways, the amount of sex is not the biggest problem that I have. I feel like she changed completely, she hates to be touched, when she lyes in bed before sex she is now like a dead body, she just lyes there, she doesn't want to touch me and she doesn't let me touch her. I can no longer go near her vagina with my fingers, when I get close to her breasts she covers them and ask me to just start having sex. She doesn't want to switch positions and its always the same thing over and over. I feel that because of these reasons Im also not being able to hold too long during sex and cum after 2 minutes some times even earlier. The funny things is that she really have orgasms every time we have sex. I can hear it in her breath and i fill her very wet. I usually keep on going after i cum to make her orgasm.

I just cant understand why she changed so much, i feel like she is ashamed of her body and I fill like she is not attracted to me sexually.
I know that she loves me and she is not cheating on me, I trust her 100% but i just cant understand what could be wrong and how someone can change her sex appetite so drastically.

The thing is that I feel like a teenager, Im still super attracted to her, I lover her body and I feel she is super sexy, every time she touches me or hugs me I still feel butterflies in my stomach and the problem is that I feel like a teenager that is in love with a girl but cannot touch her or get her attention. It is very frustrating and it is really bothering me.

Im not in the best shape, but I have never been, so what she gets from me right now is very similar to what she used to have.

Does any of you girls feel like this about you husband?

[rcoreyus]

There have been a lot of posts on this and closely related topics, you might find some interesting comments in a search. Its a really miserable situation to be in.

Do you know if there is anything about you (physical or behavior) that is making her unhappy? I might be completely unreasonable on her part, but does she think there is some problem with you?

Is she willing to talk about this at all (I'm guessing not).

[stressed]

A couple of guesses, since we don't know her views yet:

If she covers her body it's probably because she doesn't want you to see it due to her being unhappy with it (and therefore afraid you'll be unhappy with it to).
Has she learned something about you that she didn't know before? Did she go through loss? Anything that might have surprised/shocked her?
Is she a stay-at-home mum? Maybe the children make her physically tired, perhaps she's also gained weight and feels both exhausted and unattractive. Maybe she had discussions with friends that made her doubt her image as an attractive/sexual woman?

Such changes, to the point of hating to be touched, usually don't happen overnight, unless something serious has happened. It's possible that this started gradually over the years, maybe after the birth of one of the children, or something else.

Your best chance is to talk with her about it and be patient, as you wanting to solve this and still feel like a teenager in this relationship are very good signs for both of you.

[jns]

It sounds like she is afraid you'll touch her in bead, so she hopes by just laying there you'll lose interest.

Has she changes in other ways? Has she became super clean? Does she have lively days interspersed with depressing ones?

BTW, nice to see you posting again, stressed.

[jen1447]

If she covers her body it's probably because she doesn't want you to see it due to her being unhappy with it (and therefore afraid you'll be unhappy with it to).

Or (sorry to say this but it is what it is), possibly some degree of disdain or loathing for him.

[Jaimillojaramillo]

Thank you all for your answers. There hasn't been any big change or loss in her life. She works full time but as an independent professional, she works half day in the office and half day at home. We have a living maid/nanny that helps her, but I know that's not enough. I know she goes through a lot having to work and take care if the kids at the same time. I wouldn't be able to do it!! With her body she has gain a bit of weight with her pregnancies but it's not that much, and she doesn't look bad at all. I know she has never liked her nipples because they are too big, and I think that has something to do with covering her breasts, but I LOVE her big nipples! Also she says she feels weird for me to touch her vagina after our daughters came out throug there and touch her breasts after our daughters ate from there. Is it really that normal for her to feel weird about those things?

[Jaimillojaramillo]

Or (sorry to say this but it is what it is), possibly some degree of disdain or loathing for him.

Sounds about right, but why and from what. Plus if she feels that about me she shouldn't be with me

[Stillness]

I know she has never liked her nipples because they are too big, and I think that has something to do with covering her breasts, but I LOVE her big nipples! Also she says she feels weird for me to touch her vagina after our daughters came out throug there and touch her breasts after our daughters ate from there. Is it really that normal for her to feel weird about those things?

I don't think this is abnormal. I have a buddy that saw his wife give birth and told me that basically the love canal turned into a birth canal and he couldn't enjoy it as much. Also, while many women seem to be really in touch with their femininity and embrace it, there are probably just as many or more that feel some degree of shame about it.

I think that the first step is accepting the things she says are the issues and then communicating and rebuilding intimacy. Does she know how you feel?

[Millner]

Have you suggested counseling at all? Or just tried it yourself?
Also, when a woman has an orgasm it doesn't always mean she enjoyed it. The body can just do it. Just FYI

[Jaimillojaramillo]

I think that the first step is accepting the things she says are the issues and then communicating and rebuilding intimacy. Does she know how you feel?

She knows Im a bit frustrated. Every time I mention something she says why should we do more than what we already do, She likes the way we have sex and she says that I enjoy it too (which I do) so why do more if more would make her uncomfortable. But even though I like having sex as we do right know, I would be much happier doing more stuff, and having her being kinky like she used to be. Its a complicated situation. She doesnt believe in counselling