[Lady Syrinx]

Yesterday I was thinking about all of the "size matter." threads that pop up (no pun intended) here. Why is it that intelligent people shut off their logic circuits when comes to sex? Here's what I mean. It's generally accepted as a fact that not every kid who picks up a hockey stick will be the next Sidney Crosby. Many factors come together to create the conditions that produce that caliber of player. I think the same same logic is applicable to sex. Why, then,do so many people (mostly men, I think) cling so tightly to the misconception that size is sole determining factor in the ability to please a partner?

[rcoreyus]

Sex if fundamentally irrational. There is a basic drive to procreate, but the great majority of human sexual behavior is very complex an not logical. The majority of people can bring themselves to orgasm faster than any partner can - yet the majority of people prefer sex with partners. Most people have fantasies and desires for sex with other partners, but most are outraged if their partners act on those fantasies. etc.

I don't know the root cause of the penis size issue. Maybe it is some sort of innate male dominance thing - human penises are much larger than those of other similar sized primates, clearly not needed just for procreation. Popular media does play into it as well - there are a number of movies, stories etc where there is an implication that a woman is impressed and pleased when she discovers that her partner is well endowed (see Young Frankenstein).

Gender identity is important for many people and the penis is the clearest sign of "maleness", so it may seem that more -> more manly.

Porn sets unreasonable expectations since the actors are partially selected for being well endowed.

There is some of this for women's breast size as well. Women with smaller than average breasts often seem to feel inadequate, even though a substantial, number of men actually prefer small breasts.

[jen1447]

Why, then,do so many people (mostly men, I think) cling so tightly to the misconception that size is sole determining factor in the ability to please a partner?

Well there is some legitimacy to the basic notion imo. Size is not the sole factor, and it's not really a determining factor, but it is something of a limiting factor. Meaning that if you're a smaller guy, there's only so much you can do with that thing specifically. Tho that says nothing about oral skills or other considerations like stamina and how dedicated they are. You have to admit too that, all things being equal (let's say starting with a physically fit, attractive guy), being well-hung just looks better than not.

[DreamP346]

I have found penis size to be a US (or maybe it's western) issue. Growing up in Asia, I never heard about this at all. The preference for a larger size is also culturally influenced. There have been cultures where the smaller penis is desired.

I think media, including porn, influences people's attitude on this issue significantly. It's the same with thinness for women. Although rational people know that models represent 1% of the population, why are women trying so hard (and often hurting themselves) to get that skinny? Because as intelligent as we are, we are often swayed by advertising and marketing messages. Why do you think it's such big business.

[a_dub]

Well there is some legitimacy to the basic notion imo. Size is not the sole factor, and it's not really a determining factor, but it is something of a limiting factor. Meaning that if you're a smaller guy, there's only so much you can do with that thing specifically. Tho that says nothing about oral skills or other considerations like stamina and how dedicated they are. You have to admit too that, all things being equal (let's say starting with a physically fit, attractive guy), being well-hung just looks better than not.

At what size would you say a penis stops having a limiting factor. I'm assuming a 7 inch unit can achieve everything a 12 inch one can. In other words at what point does a penis begin to become "functionally" small? 6 inches? 5?

Also, what are the exact functional limitations? Seems like a 4 inch penis could do everything a 8 inch penis could - oral, vaginal, anal - etc. Also by size do you refer more to the length, or the girth? Is the particular shape important as well ie curvature, head size relative to shaft size, pointy tips vs more rounded, etc?

[atskitty2]

^^ pointy tips??!! Ouch!! Lol

[jns]

Also, what are the exact functional limitations? Seems like a 4 inch penis could do everything a 8 inch penis could - oral, vaginal, anal - etc. Also by size do you refer more to the length, or the girth? Is the particular shape important as well ie curvature, head size relative to shaft size, pointy tips vs more rounded, etc?

Interesting, reducing a guy to a penis. The rest of the guy is there to carry the penis around and to get the penis some action.

[Lady Syrinx]

Jen, it looks good, can't argue there But looks aren't everything Staying with my hockey analogy, Sidney Crosby had natural talent for the game, but he had to hone that natural talent in order to become Sid the Kid. Size is genetic so there's most likely no way to change that. The man control what he's able to with what he has. My husband's an overachiever to begin with. established in other threads. When I told him that seven minutes was considered a "good" session he said "Seven minutes is "good?"...On my worst days we go longer than that." He puts as much effort into our sex life as he does with everything else he does. I think that has far more impact (no pun intended). Not to say I'm completely ignoring his endowment. I often wonder if men use size as a scapegoat because they don't want to do the work that it takes to really become a good lover.

JNS, this was the point I was trying to make with my question. That the focus on size diminishes men by reducing them to a body part. Isn't that exactly what women complain about regarding breast size?

[jns]

Why, then,do so many people (mostly men, I think) cling so tightly to the misconception that size is sole determining factor in the ability to please a partner?

The old story about thinking with the little head instead of the big head. At least the small guys don't have to worry about losing as many IQ point as the big guys.

I think there are enough women who use size as a major factor that many guys buy into the idea that larger is better. Maybe it starts from sports in high school and the girls who go out with multiple male athletes. Of course there are also the showers where comparisons sometimes are made.

In general, I think a woman would have a better chance of finding a guy who knows what to do with what he has amongst somewhat older men because they will have had enough experience to hone their skills. Some young guys may be able to do this, but I would expect a lower percentage. I would also expect older men to be more likely to work on giving good foreplay to the woman and less likely to be worried about the woman being perfect in every physical trait.

[jen1447]

Jen, it looks good, can't argue there But looks aren't everything Staying with my hockey analogy, Sidney Crosby had natural talent for the game, but he had to hone that natural talent in order to become Sid the Kid. Size is genetic so there's most likely no way to change that. The man control what he's able to with what he has. My husband's an overachiever to begin with. established in other threads. When I told him that seven minutes was considered a "good" session he said "Seven minutes is "good?"...On my worst days we go longer than that." He puts as much effort into our sex life as he does with everything else he does. I think that has far more impact (no pun intended). Not to say I'm completely ignoring his endowment. I often wonder if men use size as a scapegoat because they don't want to do the work that it takes to really become a good lover.

Yeah, I think we all agree that having a huge guy who only wants you to blow him would be pretty useless lol, so point taken. I'm assuming we're starting from some median value here tho, so ....let's just say I don't know many women who would be drawn to the 3 inch guy over the 9 incher, all other things being equal.

(This all makes some pretty ridiculous assumptions to begin with tho, such as women screening men initially based on penis size, which never happens. Or if it does, it's only in the most superficial relationships.)

Oh btw, I always love hearing about your man. Seems like such a triumph, both for you and womanhood itself! You go girl.