[jen1447]

That's an interesting topic that's probably deserving of its own thread ....suffice it to say that I don't agree entirely. While there are parts that are obviously true (safe words dictating control of the situation, etc.), I disagree that in the big picture, a sub is somehow 'in charge' of a relationship. It's far more complex than what's going on just in the bedroom.

[Trixareforkids]

Well the funniest part about me being the "submissive" is that contrary to what most people believe, that's actually the control position. BDSM is so mis-portrayed. I'm only into the BD part but even still is all about trust, actual trust, NO ONE gives up control to someone they don't trust AND ultimate control is in the hands of the sub because all you have to do is say the word and the game is over. Me being sub is me being lazy, letting someone else do the thinking/planning is relaxing and if a blindfold or bondage of any sort is involved it's titillating to relax into it and just wait for the next sensation.

[jen1447]

I think you're too dominant to enjoy it.

You're probably right lol. The BF's in that spot far more than I ever am. I'm okay with almost any scenario tho potentially, but what's more important than the logistics is that there will be the basics of respect at the heart of any play at all times ....if he ever violates that, he'll likely find himself 90% of the way there and then suddenly saddled with an extreme case of blue balls when I walk away before his 'moment of triumph' arrives.

[Trixareforkids]

[QUOTE=Motorguy;370970]

I think you're too dominant to enjoy it. I'm more controlling than dominant. I could get down with it in the right mood [/QUood OTE]\

Good morning Trix you are like my wife she is not dominant but likes to control the situation in the bed room. I enjoy being on the ride like a hitchhiker on a joy ride lol.

Nope, ya got it backwards, I control the rest of my life so I'm occasionally willing to relinquish control and be the submissive in sex.

[Motorguy]

[QUOTE=Trixareforkids;370779]I think you're too dominant to enjoy it. I'm more controlling than dominant. I could get down with it in the right mood [/QUood OTE]\

Good morning Trix you are like my wife she is not dominant but likes to control the situation in the bed room. I enjoy being on the ride like a hitchhiker on a joy ride lol.

[Patti-here]

I don't like to give advice, but if it feels good, why not do it ?

[Trixareforkids]

(so please don't take offense at this post :-)).

No offense, we all react authentically.

Sometimes, as we all know and have experienced, tone completely changes the meaning, so in a forum like this where we've come to get and give HELPFUL advice, tone can make a big difference.

There was the occasion where I took offense at the tone of a post on libido which I'm sure you'll remember and thus my tone in return reflected that offense and may itself have been offensive. I was genuinely remorseful when I felt I had unfairly jumped on him. I stood by everything I'd replied EXCEPT the personal comments. Tone is what makes some things personal or not and that's why I can't/won't let some things go.

Also, I do not want what I see as poisonous attitudes in a place I see as healing so I will call them out every time, and if I've misread something I WILL apologize and be remorseful and try to do better in the future.

[jns]

It is always good to get a cross section of ideas to help you make up your mind about a subject as long as the posters are civil. Phil helps define a certain segment of thought. It may not be the way I think, but that is OK because it sharpens the focus of the discussion.

Bjs are not a biggie for me. I would suppose it would have been a problem if I had a gf (in the past) who prided herself on her ability at giving them, but that never happened.

[Trixareforkids]

I think you're too dominant to enjoy it. I'm more controlling than dominant. I could get down with it in the right mood

[rcoreyus]

Internet posts don't include the clues in personal communication so it can be difficult to read the intent of the poster. I generally try to avoid taking offense at tone, only at content.

(so please don't take offense at this post :-)).