[Patti-here]

But Pattie you know guys like to be in control. Like driving or the remote control of the TV. But in that position who have to do something with your hands it's a normal reaction to hold the head we not even thinking you know what you doing it feels so good lol.

Let me ask you something,, who's really in control of the situation ??? Think about it....

[Motorguy]

LOL,, sorry but I just saw this,, I know exactly what I'm doing, and my head is not a steering wheel haha...

But Pattie you know guys like to be in control. Like driving or the remote control of the TV. But in that position who have to do something with your hands it's a normal reaction to hold the head we not even thinking you know what you doing it feels so good lol.

[jen1447]

Okay lol - I'm starting to suffer from acronym blindness.

[Trixareforkids]

it's a where lol Bum F... Egypt. ie, the middle of nowhere

[jen1447]

Trix, what's a BFE?

[Patti-here]

Some guys feel there in control more when you doing that. They can hold your head and control the action more that way. Plus is a very hot look for the guy as well.

LOL,, sorry but I just saw this,, I know exactly what I'm doing, and my head is not a steering wheel haha...

[Trixareforkids]

I disagree that in the big picture, a sub is somehow 'in charge' of a relationship. It's far more complex than what's going on just in the bedroom.

Well there's a very big difference between BDSM play and a BDSM lifestyle. The 1st appeals to a much larger group, some of whom are turned off by the thought of the lifestylers. My BFF was training as a DOM before she moved to BFE with her hubby. He'll sub occasionally and he's a boy scout troupe leader and apparently is quite good with knots so they do some bondage, they switch things up quite a bit in the bedroom and it all stays in the bedroom. Neither is interested in it as a lifestyle. We haven't been able to indulge in a while but hubby loves the visual of bondage and I like a bit of vanilla subbing but again it's all play.

[Gary7]

Its funny, for me BJs are largely a visual thing - wouldn't be nearly as much fun if I couldn't see what was going on. (different strokes etc..)

I totally agree with this. Also auditory. I love to hear the moans that show she's enjoying the experience, and the, well, more base sounds made during the act as well.

[Motorguy]

[QUOTE=Trixareforkids;370979]

Nope, ya got it backwards, I control the rest of my life so I'm occasionally willing to relinquish control and be the submissive in sex.

Oh OK Trix I think most women are the submissive ones in bed as my wife takes the bull by the horn and wants to control what we are doing. And I don't argue because I know it's going to be well worth it lol.

[rcoreyus]

BDSM is (or should be) all about play, not reality. Whether or not someone enjoys playing dominant or submissive in bed may not be at all related to how they are in the rest of their relationship or life. (the 24/7 sort of DS relationships disturb me). The terminology can be very confusing. Forcing someone to give a BJ is very different from "forcing" someone to give a BJ. Making someone do something they really don't want to do , is completely different from pretending to make them do something they pretend they don't want to do (but really do).

This is actually clearer in BDSM relationships where there are safe-words etc. It can be very fuzzy when people are dominant / submissive in bed but there hasn't been any explicit agreement on consent.