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I recently had sex with my lesbian house guest. The worst part is that it was so good I can't wait to do it again.
I feel so guilty it's hard to look my husband in the eye, if he found out he would be devastated.sigpic
Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
― Bodhidharma -
chaya, its unfortunate that your husband has shown no aptitude at finding out what makes you tick sexually. At least you know now that it's not some sort of mental block, just bad technique and no technique. I would suppose Kiyomi took her time and learned what gets you going. Further, I would expect she did things your husband has refused to do, such as oral. The question is, where do you go from here?I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
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Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, VirginiaComment
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Chaya,
You have shared quite a few posts that describe your husband as a man who doesn't necessarily show you the respect that you deserve. He has taken his friends side of arguments and belittled your feelings. You have "serviced" his needs because you feel it is your wifely duty. When sex becomes an obligation, the fun, excitement, and emotional connection are lost.
With Kiyomi, there was a magnetic attraction that took you by surprise, however, your curiosity was piqued. There was no pressure and obviously a lot of pleasure. Your pleasure. You felt attractive, cared for, special. Pleasurable emotions that were buried in the dark recesses of your mind resurfaced, hence, the big O's.
For a long time you have felt there was something wrong with you and even resorted to trying devices to 'fix' yourself. This experience proves there was never anything wrong with you, but an issue with your partner (husband) and the emotional connection. Although you are having a hard time looking him in the eye, you are learning more about yourself.Comment
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