[katyms]

So, I'm 20 years old and I have never been able to reach an orgasm when I try to masturbate using my fingers. I think I'm doing everything right, when I do it I'm horny, lubrificated and I do circular movements or move it to the left and right, but I can never reach climax. I have orgasms only when I'm rubbing against the bed or a pillow, but for some reason I can't do it using my fingers! This is really weird and I'd like to hear some tips... thanks!

[Motorguy]

So, I'm 20 years old and I have never been able to reach an orgasm when I try to masturbate using my fingers. I think I'm doing everything right, when I do it I'm horny, lubrificated and I do circular movements or move it to the left and right, but I can never reach climax. I have orgasms only when I'm rubbing against the bed or a pillow, but for some reason I can't do it using my fingers! This is really weird and I'd like to hear some tips... thanks!

It maybe you need so kind of body contact to achieve a orgasm with a body or pillow. I say get your self a pocket rocket I guarantee you will achieve a huge orgasm that you think you rocket to the moon lol.My wife has one and when in a pinch she has no problem with having a big O from it good luck.

[Little]

You are doing something called Prone Masturbation. You can Google that phrase to see some data on why it may be harmful in males, but it's suggested that it might not be ideal in females either.

The usual advice is to abstain from masturbation altogether for a period of time - maybe a few weeks. Then slowly start experimenting with more traditional methods. Your body is used to a certain type of stimulation, so if you want to get it used to something different, you need to starve it for a while

[Something_Awesome]

You are doing something called Prone Masturbation. You can Google that phrase to see some data on why it may be harmful in males, but it's suggested that it might not be ideal in females either.

The usual advice is to abstain from masturbation altogether for a period of time - maybe a few weeks. Then slowly start experimenting with more traditional methods. Your body is used to a certain type of stimulation, so if you want to get it used to something different, you need to starve it for a while

Wow little, thanks for the info! This is news to me!

[jns]

The way you reach orgasm is with more stimulation than just your fingers. Does the rubbing against a bed or pillow include thrusting? You may be overstimulating which makes reaching orgasm by fingers alone harder. Little has good suggestions. I would add: use drifting into a fantasy to heighten your sexual state.

[kira]

Fingers have never worked for me and I started masturbating before 9 years old. Although I think they call it self gratification disorder or infantile masturbation before you are sexually mature. Studies on causes and potential primary or secondary disorders are in process. I did have my period at about 9 which is why I can only give you the ball park of before 9. My husband has never had trouble getting women to orgasms using fingers and he doesn't get me anywhere close most of the time. It does help if he starts very slow like just rubbing his hand across the outside where my pubic hair grows and slowly working his way in but it can take a good hour. He usually attempts it while we are watching a movie together. If he doesn't start on the outside teasing me I end up sore and numb before he gets anywhere. Most of the time he resorts to oral to speed things along.

I think for some people it just doesn't work. I tried a variety of objects as well when fingers did not work. At early teens I settled on vaginal masturbation (with some creativity as to materials) until I got a vibrator. That changed things drastically. I just can't see any results from clitoral stimulation without one and I spent 9years or more trying before I had the freedom and privacy I could sneak an online vibrator purchase under my mother's nose. It hasn't lessened sensation from manual masturbation at all. I still feel things to the same extent and they still can feel really good but it just doesn't get me to orgasm and never did. I doubt even with lots more practice and trial and error it never would. Even if I go a month without sex and 2 months without clitoral stimulation as foreplay the result is the same. It's probably been 4months since I used a vibrator cause I just haven't felt like masturbating without sex and it changed nothing. Clitoral stimulation feels the same and sex is the same as it's always been.

[Motorguy]

Fingers have never worked for me and I started masturbating before 9 years old. Although I think they call it self gratification disorder or infantile masturbation before you are sexually mature. Studies on causes and potential primary or secondary disorders are in process. I did have my period at about 9 which is why I can only give you the ball park of before 9. My husband has never had trouble getting women to orgasms using fingers and he doesn't get me anywhere close most of the time. It does help if he starts very slow like just rubbing his hand across the outside where my pubic hair grows and slowly working his way in but it can take a good hour. He usually attempts it while we are watching a movie together. If he doesn't start on the outside teasing me I end up sore and numb before he gets anywhere. Most of the time he resorts to oral to speed things along.

I think for some people it just doesn't work. I tried a variety of objects as well when fingers did not work. At early teens I settled on vaginal masturbation (with some creativity as to materials) until I got a vibrator. That changed things drastically. I just can't see any results from clitoral stimulation without one and I spent 9years or more trying before I had the freedom and privacy I could sneak an online vibrator purchase under my mother's nose. It hasn't lessened sensation from manual masturbation at all. I still feel things to the same extent and they still can feel really good but it just doesn't get me to orgasm and never did. I doubt even with lots more practice and trial and error it never would. Even if I go a month without sex and 2 months without clitoral stimulation as foreplay the result is the same. It's probably been 4months since I used a vibrator cause I just haven't felt like masturbating without sex and it changed nothing. Clitoral stimulation feels the same and sex is the same as it's always been.

Well my wife will after a bit of fingers and oral play she will orgasm but she has to be on this complete sexually high first. But if she just by her self using fingers it will take forever it ever.So she uses her pocket rocket a lot and she can be in a complete sexually high ready to blast to the moon in less then 15 minutes.

[Motorguy]

You are doing something called Prone Masturbation. You can Google that phrase to see some data on why it may be harmful in males, but it's suggested that it might not be ideal in females either.

The usual advice is to abstain from masturbation altogether for a period of time - maybe a few weeks. Then slowly start experimenting with more traditional methods. Your body is used to a certain type of stimulation, so if you want to get it used to something different, you need to starve it for a while

Oh no way wife could never go a couple months with out rubbing the bean she just over sex and needs that pleasure when she can.

[Little]

Motorguy, even one month would be overkill for abstinence in this situation. I only suggest holding off (and only then for a week or two!) in situations where something unhealthy is happening - potentially-harmful prone masturbation or cases of desensitization due to vibrator overuse or "death grip" in men. Even in some of those cases the abstinence isn't completely necessary; it just helps reset the brain and body's ideas of pleasure and hurries the reteaching process along.

Hopefully in your case, your wife isn't introducing anything harmful into your sex life ... and if you found out you did, you could easily switch it up. It's only cases like OP's where people get "stuck" that it's a reasonable suggestion.

[PhrendlyPhil]

Katyms: If you're happy rubbing against the bed or a pillow, then keep up the good work!