[jns]

I have and have been diagnosed with ED. I have tried pills and penile injections. The pills sort of work for me. The injections seemed to work at the beginning but failed under stress. Patience by your partner is the most important thing for ED. If it is a case of anxiety related performance issues, relaxing and going with the sensations is very important. Sometimes the absence of morning wood can be an indicator of ED. ED is frustrating, you know what way your body should respond to exciting situations, but it only partially responds or responds and retreats just as quickly. Masturbation can become a refuge because of greater manipulation of pressure. Abstinence for several weeks to a month can build sexual tension that may make things temporarily better for way too short of a time.

I would suggesting playing with no pressure for him to perform. Do this a number of times with a cool down period in between. Of course, have him see to your pleasure. This adds to sexual tension while taking his mind off of his erection problems. Have him work on just feeling the sensations, even closing his eyes so he is not distracted. While having intercourse, try positions that give him more physical sensation and more visual excitement and possibly even positions that give him more control such as doggy. Think of positions that you can clamp your legs in. Of course use enough lubricant. Try raking his back with your finger nails. Squeeze and tease. Pull him in. If you can, rub your breasts on his face or chest.

[CatB]

Okay, I'm coming out of lurker mode. Please bear with me while I get familiarized.

I think all men, or at least most over the age of.. what 25?.. have had some kind of erection issue at some point. My husband has on occasion had times where his body just wouldn't cooperate. We've been married 4-1/2 years. He's 53, I just turned 40. When this happens, we usually kind of laugh it off and decide to try again later and/or he satisfies me in other ways. I think that takes a little bit of the sting out of it.

I agree with what others said about abstaining for a week or so. For us, we've cut down the number of times we have sex per week, but we both believe that quality trumps quantity.

Maybe he could try to find ways to please you or bring you to orgasm, mutual masturbation, or just him watching you. I don't know a lot of guys who wouldn't get extremely aroused from watching their girlfriends/wives pleasure themselves. Just mix it up, have him talk about what he fantasizes about. Try to take some of the emphasis off the actual act of intercourse.

I guess if this was happening all the time and you both did everything you could think of to resolve the problem, I'd have no issue suggesting my husband/boyfriend see a doctor. That's just my opinion.

[jen1447]

Good advice ^. And don't go back to lurking!

[CaliSkater]

Seriously, if the problem is as prevalent as it sounds and is unresponsive to your techniques to remedy it, you need to stop seeking advice from us and he needs to get to a Doctor.

It's normal for men to have occasional bouts of brief ED throughout life, usually caused by tiredness and/or high stress etc. But once these problems become consistent this is not normal and not healthy and should be assessed by a Doctor.

Srsly, how can you guys say this is normal and to just brush it off when he essentially can't ejac during sex and thus would be unable to make a baby because of it? Sure for someone in their 40's this could be considered a normal sign of aging but at 31 this shouldn't be happening so regularly. Also for people saying he can just use toys or do something else to pleasure you, thats really only going to make him feel more incompetent and self-conscious, that he has to use a dildo to get his gf off because he can't do it himself. Furthermore sex should be a 2-way experience and there is no reason he should just live with this problem and be kept from fulfilling and healthy sex.

If your home remedies aren't able to fix this problem he needs to see a Doctor, it could be as easy a fix as a prescription for Viagra or perhaps as someone said seeing a Sex therapist.