[lexithegreat]

Im a virgin...kinda. I've attempted before but I was so tense he got in just a little, I was also on top which was a disaster. So technically not a virgin but I feel like I have yet to actually have sex. When I masturbate I never insert anything inside, because I didn't know where my hole was for years, until when I was 17 got a mirror and checked out that area. I did stick my fingers in there and I didn't get too far, it didn't hurt I Just dont like my own fingers in there. So for the last few months I've messed around with a few guys, one guy who was really aggressive fingered me so hard I bled for a few days and being a non inserting type of girl that kind of traumatized me, it didn't hurt at first but I swear he had his whole hand up there and I felt him tap on what I would describe as a little bump?, when he did That I immediately told him to stop because I was getting no pleasure from it and it was starting to hurt. So anyway, I fooled around with another guy who fingered me when I least expected it he got two fingers in, didn't hurt but I kept clenching my legs together. One huge reason being when I masturbate like I said I don't insert anything nor am I on my back I get my vibrator grind on that and have the best orgasms ever. I've tried a few times masturbating on my back and it never feels as good. Here's my dilemma I've been seeing a guy for about two months and I want to have sex with him but for some reason when it comes to the thought of it I get nervous because I'm afraid I'll be so tense he won't be able to get it in. Any advice on what to do? I heard that when he penentrates me I can like push out like I'm taking a dump? Lol, We do lots of foreplay so I'm wet. We tried a few days ago but he was having his own issues and what's weird is I wasn't nervous I was more lets get this thing in because I want to know what it feels like but I dont know if that's the right mind set to be in. A curious mindset instead of yes give me that penis!. I'm just a mess right now thinking about it and pysching myself out. Do you have any advice?

[Motorguy]

Well Lexith first of all welcome to WH, I believe you are psyching your self out big time in getting to this point of having sex. Try relaxing more maybe spend more time with foreplay then trying to get to that point of getting your boy friend inside you. My self I never heard a women trying to push out while the penis trying to come in you making the muscles tense up way to much to allow you to have intercourse. Now you said your boy friend had issue was that losing his erection while trying to enter you or he never got a erection. The guys you been with seem to be very inexperience as well and them not knowing to much then just push it in and pump that don't work with many women at all . Maybe spend more time exploring your body with his finger maybe a toy or his tongue till you relax maybe have a orgasm or two. Till he gets excited and you can take his penis and insert it in you then.But go slow till you get used to the size and feel of him in you go at your pace not his. Maybe do oral on him as well to keep him excited and show you can both enjoy each other without really having full on sex till you really ready for it good luck in the future. Please tell me you using birth control and this young men are using condoms sex is great feeling but be safe about it you may want kids in the future good luck in your quest.

[jns]

Good advice from Mg. The key is to go slow and have a few orgasms before penetration to allow your body to relax and prepare for intercourse. I'm sorry your first few guys were too rough. I hope your current guy is gentler and willing to take his time.

[lexithegreat]

Thank you motorguy. Okay so the pushing is out of the question. He couldn't keep his ererection because I did get him off a little earlier before with oral. Oh of course! Safe sex is the only way, I can't handle babies at the moment. Yes I've asked him aboit his past with women and he has more experience than I do but he still seems a little lost which only make me freak out more. But thank you for the advice I will try to calm down.

[lexithegreat]

I will definitely try that. Does having an orgasm before really relax it? I always feel like I'm "tightened" up afterward?. Thank you I don't mind aggressive but it was too much, the current guy definitely is more gentler

[jns]

Maybe you feel tightened up because of the blood flow into your genitalia. See Wikipedia [vulva] for pictures (near end of page. However, you will be more muscularly relaxed a few minutes after climax. This will allow your vagina to stretch easier.