[Patti-here]

Thanks for clearing that up Something, I've never heard of the guy though...

[Patti-here]

I know ....isn't female authority hot?

Oh I forgot this, yeah it is jen, but only in the right hands, not mine though, because I'm not an authority figure by any means..

[jen1447]

Anyone can have authority tho. Especially when it's bedroom play ....you just take on a persona until everybody's satisfied and then go back to being sweet little Patti.

I do know what you mean about (I guess you'd call it) 'natural' authority tho.

[Patti-here]

Anyone can have authority tho. Especially when it's bedroom play ....you just take on a persona until everybody's satisfied and then go back to being sweet little Patti.

I do know what you mean about (I guess you'd call it) 'natural' authority tho.

Nah.. I'm a catcher, never a Pitcher,, Im passive by nature and that won't/can't change...

[Something_Awesome]

Anyone can have authority tho. Especially when it's bedroom play ....you just take on a persona until everybody's satisfied and then go back to being sweet little Patti.

I do know what you mean about (I guess you'd call it) 'natural' authority tho.

Yep, that's how my GF is. I've been grooming her for "natural" authority though. For instance, in the beginning my GF would say something like:

"First, you're going to proof-read my essay, and then you're going to go down on me... thanks." (she is studying interior architect btw).

The moment you say "thanks" your statement loses its authoritative impact. Now, she will say:

First, you're going to proof-read my essay, and then you're going to go down on me." Maybe she might add something like "and that's how it's going to be."

She is too sweet to maintain that persona though. And even she is commanding I can feel her saying thanks on the inside, which is hot in its own right.

[jen1447]

Ha-ha, I can see you two are well versed in this, Something. A few particulars ....

There are differences in authority, both in terms of natural vs. play and the type of authority you have. For example, truly genuinely authority actually has a foundation of love and caring, not abuse (altho abusiveness can play a powerful role with roleplay and sex games and stuff like that, like Patti was saying about the pee thing). To elaborate, a woman who has real authority over a man actually cares for him and has his best interests in mind at all times. It's kind of a responsibility thing - if I'm the boss, I have to make sure the people under me are treated well and are safe and all that. ("Under" being a relative term, it doesn't mean subservient really, just 'not the boss.') The flip side of that is actually an unpleasant thing - basically 'b--chyness.' That in itself isn't hot for anybody in a RL context, tho it can play a role in sex play as well. But a woman who wears the pants and is just b--chy is not really that great. (Ask any guy in that unfortunate situation.)

The best authority IMO is the natural kind, because in terms of kink it informs your whole experience together. Not every waking moment of life is kinky, but when kinkyness kicks in, the reality of a woman's natural authority just makes the situation that much hotter. Play is all well and good, but reality-based play is better, and again, with the foundation of love and caring underneath. For example, I may mistreat the BF during sex play at times, but he knows it's play. BUT, he also knows that I do have the actual authority to do that if I wanted to IRL, and the fact that I don't is a loving gesture. Make sense?

On your examples Something, I'd like to point out that women can actually say please and still be in charge. She doesn't have to make the commands really explicit ("you will obey!"), tho she can if it's a sexual charge. So saying "proof read my essay and then go down on me, thanks," is actually pretty hot in my book. In practice with my BF, I often don't say please and just tell him to do things (even in mundane matters), but that goes back to what I said above - he knows I love him and the pleases and thank yous aren't really necessary, yet not saying them is a reminder of his status. It's not really malicious, just ....well, reality. I'll say "go get this," or "go do that" etc. and he does as he's told. Then he may get a kiss or a thanks as reward. (Or maybe not lol. )

In the bedroom it obviously gets a bit more explicit for sex's sake, I'll give him commands and even berate him sometimes just to be a tease and get him going, but again as a reminder of the reality, which only gets it going more. I really like the oral orders btw, that's hot.

Anyway I'd encourage you (Something specifically) to explore and develop that with your GF. It sounds like she basically does have the authority already, she just needs to hone the ways to exercise it. Oh - the never-fails RL/sex play combo best way to do that btw is with butt kissing. Kiss hers off your own initiative (she'll love it), and she may then start telling you to do it (even better for you), or if she doesn't, ask her to (which is itself really hot in the sub context) or ask her if you can or if she'd like you to. It's just a great gesture both ways - for you as a show of your acknowledgement of the roles and your respect for her, and for her to demonstrate her authority in what's really a benign way. No one was ever hurt by a little butt kissing, and you'll love the way she looks from down there when she looks over her shoulder and down at you. I guarantee she'll be smiling.

[Motorguy]

Can someone please explain to me what's covered under the heading of watersports? I thought that it meant either golden showers or maybe squirting but really have no idea.

Most use that term water sports to peeing on each other. But some have added the art of women squirting as well now.

[Something_Awesome]

Jen, you are right about my GF and I. The authority thing with us outside of sex is more of a roleplay I guess. It isn't genuine as she does not have it in her to be the way you describe. To lead. I've researched female-led relationships and did slip her a well written article about to know what she thought

Your write-up on female led relationships (FLR) is great btw, and I love how you contrast real FLR against other forms of authority. And I totally get what your saying about trust. The female has the power to crush the guy, and the guy basically trusts her to not do it, and she doesn't. That is hot.

When my GF is authoritative, it's more like a foreplay that she does for me well before sexy time. She may text me something hours before I see her, and it really gets the juices going. I'll be at work, I'll read the text, and then I'll be all smiles. Then someone at work will ask me "Dude, why are you smiling?" Then I'll give a superficial response like "oh, I just read some good news in a text." One time a co-worker even followed up to my superficial response and said "there is no way you are always getting texts with good news."

The co-worker was implying that he sees me smiling often after reading what appears to be (to him) random texts. I just can't help it. And I use the good news excuse all the lmao.

[jen1447]

There are all kinds of varieties and degrees of this stuff, and whatever works for you - and it definitely sounds like it's working for you and her - is fantastic. So go forth and obey her, Something. Even if it's just in the bedroom.