[mcanda19]

Help! I’m losing it. I’ve always been pretty certain about who I am but that changed last year. I’m afraid I’m sliding into some weird fetish personality.

I was going to my boyfriend’s apartment after work for dinner and I was staying over (we were dating 3 months). I ended up working late and got there at 9. He surprised me by having a hot dinner ready. I was so worn out (plus the wine) after dinner I just wanted to take a bath and go to bed. He was so sweet and didn’t mind. When I came out of the bath he was sitting in his chair having a glass of scotch. I was feeling bad that he was expecting more that night and decided he deserved better so I dropped my towel, knelt down and proceeded to give him a much deserved treat.

I always had a thing about guys putting their hands on the back of my head when I’m giving a blow job. It makes me so mad its grounds to stop right there – game over. That night I looked up as he sipped his scotch and he put his hand on my head and said “good girl”. Normally I would have been mad enough to leave right there. But that night, right then, I was so turned on at the thought of being his good girl. I had this feeling like never before watching him sip scotch as I continued.

I woke up the next morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Unfortunately he had left early so I was up to my own devices. Since then I’ve tried to recreate the scene several times (successfully a few times) but he doesn't know how I feel about it. Over the year he’s asked me to do things I would never, never have done and I willingly do them: masturbate for him, cum on my face, etc. Last week I made an appointment for an enema so we could try anal next weekend. I’m terrified of where this is leading and it’s that it excites me that scares me most.

[Patti-here]

Sounds like you're doing everything just right to me, but you really don't need an appointment for an enema, I do that myself wit warm soapy water..

[jen1447]

I kind of fail to see what the problem is here lol (no offense). You seem scared of losing status or something like that, and the fact that you like the idea on some level makes you uncomfortable?

It doesn't sound like anything too extreme's going on here ....he puts his hand on your head, cums on your face, and you may try anal. I'd say a majority of women already do those things pretty regularly. (Maybe not the anal but it's certainly not unheard of.)

What are you really afraid of here? Nothing you've described really qualifies as fetish in my book, and if you like it anyway, what's the problem? Your guy sounds like a decent guy, I doubt he's gonna turn you into a dungeon slave or anything like that by putting his hand on your head once in a while.

[rcoreyus]

I agree with everyone else. Do what you enjoy. If you sometimes want to be the submissive, that's fine, many people enjoy that sometimes. Don't be afraid to do and tell him about anything you want.

[Something_Awesome]

I don't like getting blow jobs but the way you described it sounded hot (even to me). I have to admit that I am fascinated with how you hated having hands behind your head to loving it on a dime.

Good lick with the anal. I have never explored that avenue of sex.

[Patti-here]

Some of us don't like a guy holding our head during a B/J It's not a steering wheel, most of us know what we're doing..

[Something_Awesome]

I meant to say:

I have to admit that I am fascinated with how you hated having hands behind your head and then switched to loving it on a dime.

Er... let me try it another way...

You hated having hands behind your head. Now, you love it. That is interesting to me.

It's my GF's finals week (so it's like my finals week). So freakin tired... and sleepy... then I have to wake up at 5:30 am. Trying hard to stay awake. UGH

My hands usually go on the forehead... to push the head away lol.

[Bulldog]

For me, I think the connection between people changes the bedroom norm.

With my ex wife I didn't like BJ.

With my SO now it's great. It isn't that she has better "skills". It's that SHE loves doing it and that is a turn on!! Same for anal. Never something I'd suggest or liked before but her wanting it is great by me!

By contrast, I dated briefly a woman who confided she was into dominating men. Uh, no thanks. Not my thing. Likewise previously dated a woman who wanted to be dominated. That also didn't work for me.

So I think what you like can change based on connection with your partner, but some things will never be on your to do list.

[jen1447]

Never say never. I've turned a few people into a few things they never thought they'd be and they loved it.

It's my GF's finals week (so it's like my finals week). So freakin tired... and sleepy... then I have to wake up at 5:30 am. Trying hard to stay awake. UGH

Proofreading essays? Good job.

[Something_Awesome]

Yea seriously... wtf happened to final exams this semester. Was a total struggle at the gym today.

It's finally over though...