[jen1447]

One thing to note about crossdressing - from what I gather, it's not an inherently sexual behavior. Some men dress like women because they just like to or feel compelled to, period, so it doesn't automatically mean that he's homosexual or bisexual or any kind of sexual. So it's entirely possible imo that he hasn't slept with anyone in connection with the fetish.

I admire that you're so open-minded to it, but I have to say it would be a deal-breaker for me. I can tolerate (and even bring about ) the occasional panty-sharing, but a man dressed up in wigs and dresses and nylons and heels and makeup ....couldn't do it. That's a total conversion - way outside my comfort zone. I don't mean to question your feelings on it or encourage doubt, but you may want to take a really close look at your core feelings before you commit to a position of tolerance. It would mean a permanent change to your values, lifestyle, etc.

[Cecily]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am completely open to him crossdressing. We recently had a talk and he let me know he had not taken our relationship seriously up until two months ago. He realized he just wanted me and was trying to find the right time to let me know. Again his sexuality has no effect on me at all. I am open entirely to having a healthy sexual relationship built on openness. The one thing I am questioning is whether he is capable of being with a woman and be completely satisfied. He's told me over and over again that he can be happy with me and that he just wants me. I guess my worry and hesitation is due to the fact that he lied to me and it really is keeping me from making a clear decision.

[Motorguy]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am completely open to him crossdressing. We recently had a talk and he let me know he had not taken our relationship seriously up until two months ago. He realized he just wanted me and was trying to find the right time to let me know. Again his sexuality has no effect on me at all. I am open entirely to having a healthy sexual relationship built on openness. The one thing I am questioning is whether he is capable of being with a woman and be completely satisfied. He's told me over and over again that he can be happy with me and that he just wants me. I guess my worry and hesitation is due to the fact that he lied to me and it really is keeping me from making a clear decision.

Well Cecily if you decide to stay within this relationship with your boy friend. My self I would be asking for a std's test to a sure you that he is clean from any diseases.The other issue would his being honest with you from now on and even more not wanting to gay sex while dating you. That's not asking to much from him, good luck in finding out is this guy the one you really want a relationship with, time will only tell.

[Cecily]

Thanks everyone again. The fact is I can't get over his dishonesty. We talked in depth last night and he regretted everything. He told me that because he didn't sleep with anyone then he didn't see anything wrong at the time. Now he knows he messed up. He asked me to think it through because at the time he wasn't sure about us. He was married previously and was cheated on and then abandoned...I know that history can really mess someone up but I just feel like I deserved better. It's not something I'll get over quick and I'm almost sure that it's not something I can work on with him. I didn't care about his sexuality I just wanted someone to be honest and monogamous. Unfortunately he couldn't do that. There's a possibility he could be really sorry and be the best boyfriend I thougt he waS, but he had the option to show me that and he failed. I hope I'm making the right choice but I guess time will tell. Thanks again everyone.

[jen1447]

Well done - I don't like seeing relationships end but I like how you're standing up for yourself.

[effy2014]

Cecily, you processed this in the right way and came to the conclusion that was best for you. The "sexual issues" are, more likely than not, only a part of whats really going on. I hope that you will not leave the forum, but lend your voice and experience to others.

[Motorguy]

Thanks everyone again. The fact is I can't get over his dishonesty. We talked in depth last night and he regretted everything. He told me that because he didn't sleep with anyone then he didn't see anything wrong at the time. Now he knows he messed up. He asked me to think it through because at the time he wasn't sure about us. He was married previously and was cheated on and then abandoned...I know that history can really mess someone up but I just feel like I deserved better. It's not something I'll get over quick and I'm almost sure that it's not something I can work on with him. I didn't care about his sexuality I just wanted someone to be honest and monogamous. Unfortunately he couldn't do that. There's a possibility he could be really sorry and be the best boyfriend I thougt he waS, but he had the option to show me that and he failed. I hope I'm making the right choice but I guess time will tell. Thanks again everyone.

Well Cecily, I am glad he came clean with you finally. I wouldn't think being that he suffer the same type of relationship with a cheating spouse. Why would he do this same to you very interesting thinking on his part.I hate to see you end this relationship it's sad but you have to have a honest man in your life and this was all lies of a relationship for you it's not good. I hope you can find happiness in a good relationship one day. Your welcome, good luck and god bless.

[aura969]

He seems like he doesn’t want to share that part of him with you, although you were supportive and understanding and truly amazing girlfriend. You should talk to him very seriously about your relationship and what he wants from it because it seems like a deal-breaker for you and you can’t live wondering what is he doing and who with all the time. Have you ever tried talking to a couples counselor or an astrologer about your compatibility with him and his intimacy issues?

[Cecily]

Hi this is a late response. But as far as counseling goes or astrological compatibility, I mean yes I would be open to it. The bottom line is being lied to and having someone go behind my back is hard for me to get passed. My insecurities about his sexuality or interests stem from his dishonesty. I care deeply about him but I don't think I could overcome the break in trust. This would have been drastically different if he had never gone on craigslist and just waited to open up to me. It sucks not being with him but I'm just not ready or capable of rebuilding our trust.

[Motorguy]

Hi this is a late response. But as far as counseling goes or astrological compatibility, I mean yes I would be open to it. The bottom line is being lied to and having someone go behind my back is hard for me to get passed. My insecurities about his sexuality or interests stem from his dishonesty. I care deeply about him but I don't think I could overcome the break in trust. This would have been drastically different if he had never gone on craigslist and just waited to open up to me. It sucks not being with him but I'm just not ready or capable of rebuilding our trust.

Well Cecily, if you want this relationship to continue then it will take time for that trust to be repair if ever. As they say Rome was not buildn't in a day if you want to stay together there must be a complete life change with boy friend. Now if he doesn't want to. Then leave this relationship because no one should live in a relationship where's there no trust at all with there partner'S good luck in your future with him.