[Greggo39]

A little background. I'm 37, been with my wife since I was 23.
I admit that over the past few years I've been bored with sex, and the wife and I have not been as involved as we were earlier in our relationship. Our sex has turned into the same routine every time.
However, something has happened over the past month and I have the libido of an 18 year old again. I'm constantly thinking about sex and what I'm going to do to my wife after we put our daughter to bed.
I've done my best to make things new. I've sent dirty texts in the middle of the day or when I'm in the shower. A few times she's been laying in bed watching tv and I would lay down with her and start to rub her, kiss her and tease her. Did it as long as she could stand it before she went to town on me.
Over the weekend while she was in the shower, I jumped in, surprised her and used the shower massager on her.
She has mentioned that she's willing to go to the dirty store and pick out some things, and that she likes the new me wanting all the time, but here's the problem.
I'm afraid this will get old. How do I get her to start to initiate things. I don't want it to just be one to keep things from falling into a routine again. How do I get her to come up to me when I'm sitting on the couch, whip out my stuff and go to town.

[Stillness]

However, something has happened over the past month and I have the libido of an 18 year old again. I'm constantly thinking about sex and what I'm going to do to my wife after we put our daughter to bed.

There are going to be a lot of frustrated ladies that would like you to give their men whatever you got. We always hear about frigid women that become sex-crazed at that age. But we just don't hear what you're saying.

[Greggo39]

I attribute to a new higher paying, lower stress job. No more 16 hour days and a $20,000 raise.

[Gary7]

It's not much of a mystery on how to go about accomplishing what you're asking. You talk to her about it.

[Greggo39]

It feels like talking to her about it kills the spontaneity of it all. Might just be my cave man brain wants to get her so hot and bothered, she just picks up on it.

[effy2014]

It feels like talking to her about it kills the spontaneity of it all. Might just be my cave man brain wants to get her so hot and bothered, she just picks up on it.

Cave man brain is not going to get you what you want. Talking to her once or twice about your desire for her to initiate every so often does not affect the mystery of what she will do on any particular occasion over time. Women are generally not initiators, especially when you have been the one to start for 23 years. Waiting for her to get the hint is crazy when a conversation may unlock the door. You may also find out that she is uncomfortable in that role and have to work out other ways to spice things up.

Second, why are you worried about things you haven't don't yet will get old. There are so many things that can be done . . . just read the last several posts in this forum. Relax. Enjoy. Go to the sex shop and find toys . . . Books ... Etc. When you get tired of those, go back. If things get old, talk again and brainstorm with your wife. Communication is the key to,a happy sex life and a happy relationship.

[JonDoe]

In this case, stop worrying about the future and enjoy the present. You are a lucky man!

[aura969]

It has to do with her personality and her lack of spontaneity. You can’t really fix that so as long as you are taken care of, what does it matter who initiates stuff? If both of you were sex crazed, who would be taking care of the family, be the responsible, objective when it comes to problems? There is a difference between men and women when it comes to the psyche so wanting different things at times can happen. It is okay that she is receptive and answers to your playful manner. You can also try a couples therapist or an astrologer to find out more about your compatibility with her and what things you can help her discover about herself.